Are you truly prepared for what you want ?

[m1469]

I have been digesting for awhile something that a wonderful teacher has said to me :

"Luck is preparation met with opportunity"

And this has caused me a question to myself : Am I prepared ?

I guess I constantly feel underprepared, on a sort of big scale of life (just recently I feel I have sent myself adrift out to sea... trying to keep my head above water -- however, perhaps I have been preparing for this step for the last few years in my life).  Or, I find myself feeling worried that I cannot handle whatever comes my way.  However, it seems that opportunity continues to knock, and I recognize growth in my life, so I suppose there must have been/be some kind of preparation taking place that continues to push me "forward".

I am just curious, though... how many people have things they want or wish on or whatever, but also feel prepared to have these things show up right at their door ?


Just thinking, I guess.


m1469

[pianistimo]

i already know i'm not prepared - but i keep at it.  persistence.  it pays off.  over here you have the high achiever - but gives up after a while.  on the other side is the turtle - and it never stops.  the turtle will win someday.

i think balance in one's life is good to.  i mean - if i don't get enough sleep -i can't really function - so then my goals become muddled.  but after a few good nights sleep then i can focus again.

also, another point is that when people criticize what you do - don't listen.  keep on going.  this is a fatal mistake for people who cannot take the heat.  they just quit.  because someone else said they weren't good enough.  for instance, for this musical that we are doing for the kindergarteners - the first rehearsal went well - but was just slightly chaotic at the beginning when everyone came in and lined up to get a nametag.  we had just a bit of a bottleneck - but when everyone got in and we started the practice - both leaders (me and another lady) did a pretty good job.  after the whole thing was over, a day or so later a parent was ** about things being unorganized.  if you've ever seen any 'practice' for ANYTHING - the first practice is usually about finding out who's coming - explaining what's going to happen - and getting everyone to get into a 'routine.'  we had the routine down.  and there was no guesswork left for the kids or parents.  so - this other lady and i decided that if parents complain - they will be conscripted to help out.  then they'll shut up.

[Bob]

.

[elspeth]

Speaking as someone who does customer service for part of my living - oooh, the stories about complaining people I could tell you! People can be so petty.

Am I prepared for life? No, not really. I try my best to be for the stuff I know is going to happen to me in the near future, as we all do, but beyond that, no. Do I have what I want? Hmm, tricker one. I have a lot of the things I want at the moment, I'm lucky. But there are always things you wish for... in my case, the stumbling block to all of them comes back to money somewhere along the line. Being single and paying your mortgage isn't easy these days - but owning my own place is high on my list of the things I want that I'm lucky enough to have, and some other things I have to compromise on in order to have it.

[rc]

That's an interesting way of looking at it, and I believe it's true.  Opprotunity is everywhere, if you're looking for it.  Sometimes all the preparation means is to decide what you want and be looking for it, so you aren't lost in your head when opprotunity goes walking past.  Which is another reason why I think it's important to make sure to take care of business ASAP, so that I don't have to walk around all day with troublesome thoughts distracting me from the moment...  Or at least just be able to chill and be in the moment anyways.

It's like the phrase "when the student is ready the teacher will appear"...  That's how nature works, we don't get anything we didn't in some way earn, and if we do the tendancy is to lose it.  So, I like to think I spend most of my time preparing myself.

Sometimes I think we may be adequately prepared for anything, but it becomes a matter of courage, confidence, and faith in ourselves to actually grab the opprotunity.

also, another point is that when people criticize what you do - don't listen. keep on going.

I agree in not letting people stop you, but I think we ought to at least listen to critisicm - sometimes they have a point, though I never heed it in the moment, it's sometimes good to think about.  It's also true that 90% of criticism is filed as 'useless BS', that's when you tell 'em to either help out or shut up eh?

[ted]

You mean in music, I assume ? I don't think the issue is relevant to me. I am the way I am and that's all there is to it. I know exactly what I want to do and I constantly set about doing it. I can't be bothered preparing "just in case" an opportunity might come. In any case, what musical opportunities would I be interested in ? I can't think of any at all. I am happy as I am.

I hasten to add that this state has nothing whatever to do with my learning, thinking, developing and creating, which goes on relentlessly; a very dynamic process within a capsule of contentment and stasis. This easily misunderstood distinction is important. 

[m1469]

You mean in music, I assume ?

Well, actually, I mean it more generally, if one wants.  I don't mean specifically just music, but if that's what it means to somebody, then fine.  I suspect you may feel similarly to everything else in your life that you have described here about your music.   That would be ineresting to know about.

Cheers,
m1469

[maul]

Yes, and I work everyday to get closer to my goals of what I want.

[le_poete_mourant]

Sometimes it seems like people are afraid of having what they want, and are much happier when they don't have it, or rather, are in pursuit of what they want.  Once you have it, it's not so great anymore. 

[ada]

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. You might regret it.

There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved.

We are hardwired to be suspended in a constant state of aspiration, otherwise we'd reach a point of stasis and probably lie down and die.

That is, of course, if we are fortunate enough to have all our basic needs met. Is there not something just a little indecent about that sort of self-centred introspection when most people in the world are struggling to survive?

When your "goal" is to stay alive, rather than reaching some sort of level personal "achievement"?

That sort of How-to-be-a-Winner-in-Life is very American. So very self-improvement-shelves-of the-bargain-basement-bookstore. So very 1990s.

[ahinton]

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. You might regret it.

There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved.

We are hardwired to be suspended in a constant state of aspiration, otherwise we'd reach a point of stasis and probably lie down and die.

That is, of course, if we are fortunate enough to have all our basic needs met. Is there not something just a little indecent about that sort of self-centred introspection when most people in the world are struggling to survive?

When your "goal" is to stay alive, rather than reaching some sort of level personal "achievement"?

Well said!

That sort of How-to-be-a-Winner-in-Life is very American. So very self-improvement-shelves-of the-bargain-basement-bookstore. So very 1990s.

And 1980s. And 1970s. Etc. Etc.

That said, there's no inherent harm in people who do have those basic needs met aspiring to better things - provided, of course, thast those things really ARE better. Goals can help put aspirations and intent into a kind of perspective; the trouble with all too much of the kind of "self-improvement" literature that abounds, however, is that its chief purpose (other, of course, than to generate fat profits for its authors and distributors!) is clearly to turn the thing into an overbearing obsession rather than keep it in any kind of realistic and potentially beneficial perspective.

You state that this kind of stuff is "very American". Whilst that is undoubtedly true, isn't it also somewhat Australian? - or is its manifestation in Australia merely the consequence of an import from America?

Best,

Alistair

[ramseytheii]

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. You might regret it.

There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved.

We are hardwired to be suspended in a constant state of aspiration, otherwise we'd reach a point of stasis and probably lie down and die.

That is, of course, if we are fortunate enough to have all our basic needs met. Is there not something just a little indecent about that sort of self-centred introspection when most people in the world are struggling to survive?

When your "goal" is to stay alive, rather than reaching some sort of level personal "achievement"?

That sort of How-to-be-a-Winner-in-Life is very American. So very self-improvement-shelves-of the-bargain-basement-bookstore. So very 1990s.

I am slightly confused by your post!  Hopefully you can shed light on it for me.  You say it is "indecent" to be in a "state of aspiration," due to other people struggling to survive.  Your next question is grammatically incomplete, but I assume you mean to disparage the idea of personal achievement when there are people who are struggling to feed themselves every day (as if that is not an achievement?).

Do you mean to say, that it is wrong for someone to want to achieve, someone who aspires to personal goals, because someone else is struggling for his existence?  If so, that means that our own existence is immoral unless we are struggling for it every day.  It may be true that the meek will inherit the earth, it may not, but how does that make the rest of the world evil?  If there weren't people who not only achieved a stable existence where basic needs were not a concern, but also went beyond and created something worthwhile, then this world would frankly be sh*t.  Is this what you want?

I find your statement "There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved." to be especially cruel, though I take solace in the presumption that hardly anybody will believe you.  But is this what you will teach your children?  That it is useless, and in fact negative, to achieve personal goals?  Please enlighten me on the nature of your post!

Walter Ramsey

[maul]

Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. You might regret it.

There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved.

Not true in my opinion. A goal achieved will boost my confidence and make me happy... for a certain amount of time. Then the feeling will soon wear off but will give me the confidence to achieve the next goal, and so forth. So you are correct to the extent that there is endless aspiration. Achieving goals is very gratifying, not "deflating", and I sure as hell don't regret it.

[rc]

To live without dreams is deflating...  (But I seriously doubt it's possible to not have dreams of some sort)

[timothy42b]

At the risk of misunderstanding where you're coming from (or going to), I see it a bit differently.

As a student I was always preparing for something, and I'm not sure that was a good attitude even then. 

Now I think not of preparing, but of doing.  Of course that requires continual work to improve skills at whatever I'm doing - job, hobbies, etc - but I think it is a different mindset.

Maybe a musical example will help.  I can practice organ on the off chance our church's organist might become suddenly ill during a service and I'd have to step in, that would be preparation.  Or I can play organ because that's one of the things I do, however badly. 

If I were considering a career change, perhaps to becoming an organ teacher, maybe that would change.  Or maybe not.  Hopefully not.  I think there is a difference in attitude between preparing to do something, and performing something at a level that is below your eventual intention.  It is better to make the decision to perform as early as possible to get you out of the prepare mindset.

Or did i totally miss the point?

[pianowolfi]

I sometimes have the impression that certain influences from my subconscious (like dreams) prepare me for life situations that occur one or two days (or even weeks) afterwards. Then I feel prepared. But if I prepare myself I try to do it always with a certain flexibility. I try not to be over prepared because this may lead to rigidity.

[ada]

I am slightly confused by your post! 

Well let me try and shed some light ...

I am slightly confused by your post! Hopefully you can shed light on it for me. You say it is "indecent" to be in a "state of aspiration," due to other people struggling to survive.

Apart from the fact that you are verballing me, yes, I do find it somewhat indecent that we can indulge in "self improvement" and "personal goals" when others face an uphill battle to stay alive. So yeah, I find chasing excellence as a pianist an indulgence too, despite the fact I am guilty of it myself. But there you are.

Your next question is grammatically incomplete

Well now you're being pedantic. IMOD posts in a forum such as this reflect spoken language rather than written language. I am talking, and people don't talk in grammatically perfect sentences. Besides.  As a writer by profession I am perfectly capable of producing grammatically correct  sentences. I am also capable of bending the rules when the situation suits. I don't believe James Joyce conformed to all the rule of grammar in his works. Not that I am comparing myself to JJ. hahah.

I I assume you mean to disparage the idea of personal achievement 

No no no not at all. I would not want to discourage anyone from aspiring to reach a personal achievement. I am just taking a different slant on the idea of aspiration.

I find your statement "There is nothing more ... deflating ... than a goal achieved." to be especially cruel, though I take solace in the presumption that hardly anybody will believe you. But is this what you will teach your children? That it is useless, and in fact negative, to achieve personal goals? Please enlighten me on the nature of your post!

I wasn't attempting to be cruel, maybe just a little intentionally existentialist. A goal achieved is a goal lost; it's the lack of a goal. When we achieve a goal, we suddenly have nothing left to reach for, because we've reached it. So we're endlessly moving on to another goal. Like poor old Sisyphus pushing his rock up the mountain for eternity, only to have it roll down the other side once he gets to the top (Camus).

But what when you've achieved the ultimate? To use a local example, what about poor old Ian Thorpe, who retired at the age of 20-something after becoming the greatest swimmer, ever, anywhere in the world? What's he got to aspire to now? His pearls and manbags? A career in TV commentary? Whoopy-do. I think that is immensely sad.

But as I said, I'm not disparaging goals. You are right in saying life would be crap without anything to aim for.

So. What I did in my post was more or less think out loud, based largely on personal experience. The American Dream tells us that without a dream we're nothing, but like many great American myths I think it can do with a little deconstructing.

cheers
ada

[m1469]

I am not really sure as to why this topic has turned into some kind of moral debate, though I find it an interesting thing to consider in general.  As to whether or not "we" have "moral permission" to achieve anything besides food and shelter in our lives, I feel this thread was not meant for that topic and I now wish to add my own second post for the sake of clarifying more what I was thinking initially.

Aside from the "morality" of it, what I was finding to be somewhat ironic in my own experience is that I realize there used to be certain things that I wished for so badly, yet when I took honest stock in reality, I realized I was not actually even remotely prepared for those things that I wished, and even more than that, it would actually very much scare me to be given certain opportunities.

I want to know if people are truly prepared for what they look for in life.  That's it.

This topic also stems from the fact that I think people often look to others and think "oh, how lucky they are.  If only I had the same opportunities as they, I would have such a better life."  But when it comes down to it, they are not actually prepared for those opportunities, perhaps, and instead of spending their time working toward what they want, they spend energy in excusing themselves from progress.   Perhaps the "moral debate" comes in here, as a personal reason as to why one does not prepare for more than food and shelter in life.
 

[ada]

I am not really sure as to why this topic has turned into some kind of moral debate,

I think that's my fault. Apologies!

Do you mean like, you may want to leave a partner for someone else and then find you're not prepared for your "new life" with someone else?

Or you may wish yourself super-rich and then not be prepared for the consequences that go with wealth?

I don't think we're ever prepared for anything. But we just cope, because what else is there to do?

[m1469]

Sure.  I mean anything that people feel they want.  I have been resisting to say specifically what I personally had in mind because, well, I am a little embarrassed of it  .  But, since I think I must be talking too vaguely and I am the one who started the discussion, I will devluge the information.

I used to think that I wanted to play in Carnegie Hall  , or that I wanted certain invitations from Orchestras to play concertos, and these sorts of things  .  But, one day I just woke up and realized that I wasn't actually remotely ready for these things, so why in the world was I spending my time wishing I was doing them right now ??

So, sometimes I feel like my life is idle (though I don't think it really is), and I realize more and more during these times that I ought to be using this time to better prepare myself for whatever comes next, because inevitably, something IS coming next (even though I don't know what that is).  But, in the example of wishing to play a concerto with an orchestra, it would be wise of me to actually learn the concerto so I am ready if asked, versus waiting to be asked before I learn the concerto  .

I sometimes have feelings of finding different teachers to work with, but do I currently practice in all the ways I know how ?  Do I currently manage my time in all the ways I know how ?  No.  So, I am not actually even working to prepare a space in my life for those things that I fantisize that I might want, and I realize the need to do so.

Does this make more sense ?

I guess I am somewhat of the mind that the preparation builds or attracts the opportunity.  I experience this in teaching quite often, actually.  As I gain knowledge and skill in teaching, I find the level of students that I attract changes.  It's a strange phenomenon, really.

[teresa_b]

I'm not sure whether this is correct, but this quote has been attributed to the architect Mies Van Der Roe.  "Fortune favors the prepared mind."

I think you are right in becoming as well-educated and wise as you can, because when fortune (meaning loosely "something you are looking for") presents itself you will then recognize it for what it is.  Only then you can take advantage of the opportunity.

I do not feel the least bit guilty for striving to accomplish certain things, even though indeed there are starving people everywhere, etc.  Why should bad stuff in the world detract from the good that can exist?  (In fact, some would say bad and good cannot exist without each other.) 

Certainly it's good to help those in need as much as possible, and some people have made that their mission.  If they accomplish that, would it be a goal achieved and thus depressing?  I hope not. 

Just some idle ramblings.
Teresa

[ramseytheii]

Certainly it's good to help those in need as much as possible, and some people have made that their mission.  If they accomplish that, would it be a goal achieved and thus depressing?  I hope not. 

Just some idle ramblings.
Teresa

That's very clever!  Always use logic and literal interpretation to destroy a faulty argument.

Walter Ramsey

[pianistimo]

what?!  you can be more than two things at once.  you can help someone - and you can practice.  there's no contradiction.  people tend to sometimes limit themselves and think they are only suited to do one thing well.   what about helping someone else with their 'goals.'  that could be students - for that matter.  who is depressed about helping someone 'find themselves' in music.  i think it is even more literally rewarding than playing a perfect performance of the best piano music in your repertoire.  (well, almost )