Psychological Trauma vs. Piano Practice

[xhunterjx]

Hey everyone,

Recently my sister was in a very serious car accident and my Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer.   Both have been in and out of hospitals for various surgerys.  I'm not trying to get any sympathy, but I am wondering if it is normal that this is seriously effecting the way I am practicing and playing.  Pretty much, since all of these things have happened, I have not wanted to touch the instrument.  Of course, no one likes to practice, but before I always did 3 hours a day, and now, I can't even force myself to do one.  I don't seem to love piano anymore.  I am wondering if my love for music and piano will come back?  Is this normal during difficult times?  I am really scared because I was recently accepted in NCSA's performing arts high school as a piano major.  I don't want my parents to send money to the school if I don't even like music anymore.

I hope you can understand this.

Is this normal?

[richard black]

Yeah, that's pretty normal, from what I've heard from friends who've had similar lousy luck. But forcing yourself past it and making yourself get back to the piano can very often be one of the best therapies. Obviously there's no point trying to deny or stifle your feelings, but similarly you can't let them overwhelm you. Coax yourself back with some simple playing through (rather than practising) music you love and know well. Remember: you _are_ a musician, it's what you do, just like a doctor fixes people up or a businessman runs a company. You owe it to yourself, your teachers, your family and (perhaps most of all, in a way) your sister and grandpa to do it.

[elspeth]

Even if you're not after sympathy, have some anyway. That's a horrible set of circumstances. And yes, you're normal! Or at least, as normal as anybody really is...

I think you need to talk to somebody - even if it's not your parents. Lots of schools have counsellors attached to them these days, or if there's a teacher you trust they might be a good choice - and there are plenty of charities which run helplines. If you're in the UK, Childline is the first one that springs to mind. Get some stuff off your chest about your worries about piano, and school, and all the family things. It might be hard to approach someone to talk about it all but you need to share it with someone - you'll be amazed how much easier it feels when you've taken someone into your confidence.

I really doubt your love of music and piano have gone for good. It might easily just be the musician's equivalent of 'writer's block' - a friend of mine is an artist and he gets something similar when he can't even bear to pick up a pencil, never mind draw or paint.

I think your parents will pick up on it on their own pretty quickly. After all, it's not as if they won't notice you're suddenly not practising three hours a day when you had been.

[pianistimo]

do you think you are reluctant to go into the NCSA program because you might not have the hours to practice?  are you unsure as to who is going to care for your sister and your grandfather?  perhaps you should also sit down with your parents and discuss what they think will happen in the near future (as they have discerned from the doctors) about your sister's and grandfather's care.  i would never feel bad about a year away from piano - but several years might make it difficult.  people alwasy come first before music - and actually you can still practice and possibly make music therapy help your sister and grandfather through some tough times.

you know - if you decide to actually follow through with music - music therapy is BIG!  i mean there is a lot more money in it than there used to be.  at least that is what i hear from a girl that is majoring in it at temple university.  anyways - include your family in your decisions (as you seem to naturally want to do) and everything will work out.  excluding events that happen in one's life and family is just sweeping things under a rug . eventually, the feelings would come out later.  it is obvious how much you care for your sister and grandfather.  i'm sure they want you to continue.  maybe it's like 'dancing flames' - and as they get better health-wise - you will get better and find more energy to practice.

[nicco]

Of course, no one likes to practice

If this is what you think, then dont play piano. Practice should be fun.

[xhunterjx]

If this is what you think, then dont play piano. Practice should be fun.

I don't like to practice, I like to play...for me those are too entirely different things.

[henrah]

And the same applies to me. I find it hard to practice when playing is so much more fun. However, it feels amazing when practicing becomes fun. Take my most recent venture: Rachmaninov's prelude 32/12. I found it so beautiful to practice (because most of the time I was playing it as practice - it came fairly easily, repetitive notes and themes make it easier to learn as the concentration can be taken off one hand and put solely on the other). However, now I'm stuck as I only like playing it, and I haven't started practicing the sections I don't know yet. I've only been playing the sections I do know. So know I know about half of it (spaced out chunks) really well, well enough to perform, but of course I don't know the whole thing to actually perform it. Now it just takes willpower to sit down and slowly go through those remaining passages and get them into my mind, then I can play through them to practice.


And yes, you are going through a completely normal phase. And Richard Black makes a good point in that pushing yourself to play the piano will help you recover much faster than just waiting until your love for playing the instrument comes back. Sometimes I find it's nice just to set aside half an hour or so to think heavily about your sister and grandpa, and of course talking to someone about it will help to. Even if you're not seeking any answers or you don't have any questions to ask: just telling someone everything you're feeling can really take the weight off and make you feel much more relaxed.
Henrah

[thalberg]

You can always USE your emotions and put them in the music.  Play something sad.  Just a suggestion.  You do have my sympathy.