For the guys

[soliloquy]

Now, I don't want to get everyone excited.... but you may want to be sit down before reading on.  I have just received an email that insures me that any man's penis can be up to FIVE INCHES LONGER   In fact, I even got three of them, so that's like.... 15 inches!!!!


Kenya Roy Do you want more inchees? hhnfa  Fri Mar 16, 2007 2k
Bettie Blanton A few more in size, and you're done l  Fri Mar 16, 2007 2k
Alta Riley rhkr Gain Up to 5+ xgel  Fri Mar 16, 2007 1k


I advise that any man who gets an email from these people quickly whip out your credit card, because it could change your life

[mephisto]

I think Salvatore Sciarrino would have chosen his words more carefully.

In this case I think this is beyond all doubt.

[rach n bach]

LOL!!!

I was typing the same thing when you posted!   

[counterpoint]

Okay, that's the "Anything but piano" section, but do we really need longer penisses?

Longer pinkies would be much more useful 

[rach n bach]

Don't anybody tell the 12-in pianist joke.

I will strangle you with my bare hands.

[jlh]

Don't anybody tell the 12-in pianist joke.

I will strangle you with my bare hands.

What's the 12-in pianist joke?

[rach n bach]

Ah, ignorace is bliss....

[living_stradivarius]

https://www.guzer.com/videos/funny_piano_players.php

[rach n bach]

 

GRRR!!!!

Die you!   

 

[alwaystheangel]

*sigh* that is one of my favourite piano videos. Its up there with Mr. Bean and Horowitz playing Vers la Flamme,

[jakev2.0]

According to Francesco Libetta (supposedly), him playing the keyboard in such a manner would result in great inaccuracy due to the striking of several notes at once. 

[ahinton]

*sigh* that is one of my favourite piano videos. Its up there with Mr. Bean and Horowitz playing Vers la Flamme,

This was a piano duet version, was it?

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

Now, I don't want to get everyone excited.... but you may want to be sit down before reading on.  I have just received an email that insures me that any man's penis can be up to FIVE INCHES LONGER   In fact, I even got three of them, so that's like.... 15 inches!!!!...

I advise that any man who gets an email from these people quickly whip out your credit card, because it could change your life

Well, of course - and buy "meds" and suspect stock at the same time, no doubt. Most people get this kind of e-garbage and most if not all security programmes with spam filters worthy of the name deposit most of them in the spam box. If you really want to increase your length by 15 inches, you might be wise first to ensure that you have enough money to commission a tailor to make you some specially designed pairs of trousers. That said, however, you'd surely be better off working with the length(s of fingers) that you have; after all, whatever length you might achieve in the other department when sufficiently excited, all.fall.down eventually (there's some practice advice in there somewhere, possibly...)

Best,

Alistair

[alwaystheangel]

This was a piano duet version, was it?

Best,

Alistair

the one and only

[opus10no2]

According to Francesco Libetta (supposedly), him playing the keyboard in such a manner would result in great inaccuracy due to the striking of several notes at once. 

Legend 

[quantum]

What would Pierre B........

never mind...

[soliloquy]

What would Pierre B........

never mind...

I think he'd be all over it

[ahinton]

I think he'd be all over it

Well, I don't know about that, but I'm sure that Salvatore Sciarrino would have chosen his treatments more carefully and I don't even want to think of what Mauricio Kagel would have said...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

soliloquy,  how is it you were born with three?  i just don't get it.  you must have been one of those thalidimide babies.

[soliloquy]

Well, I don't know about that, but I'm sure that Salvatore Sciarrino would have chosen his treatments more carefully and I don't even want to think of what Mauricio Kagel would have said...

Best,

Alistair

I wonder what BUSSOTTI would have done XD

[gilad]

Soliloquy.
If they had anything on penis reduction please can you forward that to me. (-;

[thalbergmad]

Personally, i find the only way to get a 12 inch member is to fold it in half.

Thal

[soliloquy]

Personally, i find the only way to get a 12 inch member is to fold it in half.

Thal

Length or width?


Spoken like a tr.u SDC mof.o.

[ahinton]

I wonder what BUSSOTTI would have done XD

I don't know; perhaps he might have gone to PennSylvanoia to find out from Susanistimo what to do...

Best,

Alistair

[mikey6]

I was reading in 'why do men have nipples'. that supposedly a women's g-sp*t is further upfront than most people think so a shorter schlong would be a better option.

[rach n bach]

I was reading in 'why do men have nipples'. that supposedly a women's g-sp*t is further upfront than most people think so a shorter schlong would be a better option.

Right then.  I have some experiance in this area, and will shorten your donger by 50% or more in just minutes!  Almost painless procedure utlizes the most modern tools.  Table saw or Axe are just a few of the opitons avalibe.  Please call soon to make your reservation!   

RnB

[pianistimo]

why DO men have nipples?  (i must be bored tonight)

there are many forms of eroticism - as many men/women have attested here.  i think it's  like women with smaller breasts etc - it's just a moot point with the right person.  perhaps it's making the match that is important.  for instance, i'm not huge (nor terribly small) on top and my hsuband once told me he actually finds very large breasts repulsive.  then he says that nobody has my legs.  way to go, really.  i mean compliment whatever the man/woman has and don't let it be the end all of a relationship.  and, i think women should know that the more children you have - the less of a problem it is.  just have a bunch of kids and don't go for the augmentation.  i can't imagine asking a man to get augmented either.  what if it broke during the procedure?  my neighbor told me her cat's tail was broken and remained that way for a year.

*my husband was just born with a perfect body.  he couldn't help it.

[alwaystheangel]

I'm not following. what kind of male augmentation: Penis?  if so, what does that have to do with a broken cats tail?

[opus10no2]

I think pianistimo has revealed a little too much about her husband's furry little friend.

[pita bread]

I...

wonder what Scriabin would have done.

[ahinton]

I think pianistimo has revealed a little too much about her husband's furry little friend.

Pianistimo is well known for revealing all kinds of things that most of us would regard as personal and private.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

nobody has my legs.

They'd look abit out of place on anyone else, would they not! - and I hope very much that your broken one heals well.

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

personal and private. you mean my bust size?  bust sizes are common knowledge.  look at any female.  guess.  it's no secret.  people in britain go around pretending breasts don't exist?  i say - take a guess and murmer it and see if the woman suddenly looks up and says 'well, yes - you are quite right.' 

i can't say it works equally well for a man's 'you know what' size.  it might take a little bit of guesstimation.  look at their feet and divide by two or something.  seems that proportion is really no secret if you are somewhat mathematically inclined.  (excepting those cases of augmentation).  five inches, though.  what is this - a steel rod?  i guess that's what they do with broken bones.  sorry for the pun alistair.

[ahinton]

personal and private. you mean my bust size?  bust sizes are common knowledge.  look at any female.  guess.  it's no secret.  people in britain go around pretending breasts don't exist?  i say - take a guess and murmer it and see if the woman suddenly looks up and says 'well, yes - you are quite right.'

Some people may guess at such things and some may declare them, but whilst people in Britain do not do as you ask, it is at the same time true that "bust sizes ae common knowledge" in the sense of people being introduced to others at a social gathering as "this is Susan, she's a 38B" as distinct from "this is Susan, she's a pianist and a cook" or "this is Susan, she's a theologian" or something...

i can't say it works equally well for a man's 'you know what' size.  it might take a little bit of guesstimation.

That sounds painful...

look at their feet and divide by two or something.  seems that proportion is really no secret if you are somewhat mathematically inclined.  (excepting those cases of augmentation).

I wouldn't want to be measured by you, Susan, that's for sure.

No, seriously, I was talking more about the extent to which you reveal the sometimes intimate details of your family on a public forum.

Best,

Alistair

[leahcim]

look at their feet and divide by two or something.

I suspect you'll find that for 99.9% of the male population that calculation will give you about 1 foot.

[ahinton]

I suspect you'll find that for 99.9% of the male population that calculation will give you about 1 foot.

Indeed so - except that I rather doubt that as much as the remaining 0.1% are legless, except perhaps on a Saturday night; that said, I do not imagine that the measurement to which you refer is typical of the organ length to which Pianistimo alludes...

Best,

Alistair

[counterpoint]

quote : look at their feet and divide by two or something.

I suspect you'll find that for 99.9% of the male population that calculation will give you about 1 foot.

 

[pianistimo]

i do not reveal that intimate of things about my family, alistair.  for instance - i have never given out my husbands 'you know what' size.  if i recall alistair, you have been more forward in revealing what you think about size and how that can be remedied and spoken in much more detail.  i am merely stating what is obvious.  my husband has about a size 13 foot - so you can guess if you divide by two.  icannot reveal anymore.  it is too personal.  anyways - he could be a model or something - but i won't let him.  people pay for bodies like his - all i had to do was marry him. 

and ps - if private information is given directly to and from credit card companies - the only thing left is one's bra size or 'you know what' size.  pretty soon we'll be filling out forms that explain that, too.  so alistair - painful or not - you need to get measured.  give me your shoe.

[ahinton]

i do not reveal that intimate of things about my family, alistair.  for instance - i have never given out my husbands 'you know what' size.

You have indeed stopped short (if you'll pardon my use of the word "short" in this context) of doing that, but you've said a lot else.

if i recall alistair, you have been more forward in revealing what you think about size and how that can be remedied and spoken in much more detail.

IF you recall, yes - but what do you recall? Where have I written anything about any of that? It's news to me!

i am merely stating what is obvious.  my husband has about a size 13 foot - so you can guess if you divide by two.

I can guess what in particular?

icannot reveal anymore.  it is too personal.  anyways - he could be a model or something - but i won't let him.  people pay for bodies like his - all i had to do was marry him. 

Does he want to be one, though? I ask that only because you say that you"won't let him"...

and ps - if private information is given directly to and from credit card companies - the only thing left is one's bra size or 'you know what' size.  pretty soon we'll be filling out forms that explain that, too.

You might. I won't. One only ever fills out forms because one wants something that requires prior form-filling and I cannot imagine ever wanting anything enough to warrant the completion of a form that requires such data, thanks.

  so alistair - painful or not - you need to get measured.

For what purpose?

give me your shoe.

What? Over the internet? I don' even know how to do that! Anyway, why would you be the one doing the measuring?

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

alistair, it is common knowledge that women can give you an accurate measurement.  men are always fudging with the numbers.  pm me your shoe size and i'll take a guess. 

[jlh]

i do not reveal that intimate of things about my family, alistair.  for instance - i have never given out my husbands 'you know what' size.  my husband has about a size 13 foot - so you can guess if you divide by two.  icannot reveal anymore.  it is too personal.  

and ps - if private information is given directly to and from credit card companies - the only thing left is one's bra size or 'you know what' size.  pretty soon we'll be filling out forms that explain that, too.  so alistair - painful or not - you need to get measured.  give me your shoe.

Leave it to a married woman to generalize men's "sizes". lol  If dividing by 2 gives you an accurate size for your husband, just remember that shoe size is not a reliable size determining factor for that "other size" for most guys.  If it were, then dividing by 2 would work for every guy... however I, for example, have to divide by like 1.5.   

[leahcim]

I sense the argument here will follow a path similar to those used by the piano method folks  'The formula is correct, I know it looks like it's big when he's playing, but it's just that Gould wore shoes that were too big!'

[rach n bach]

however I, for example, have to divide by like 1.5.   

Multiply, multiply my dear fellow.  Mine is something more like Shoe/.5="it"   And I wear 14s...   

RnB

[ahinton]

alistair, it is common knowledge that women can give you an accurate measurement.  men are always fudging with the numbers.

Whether or not either of these is actually the case, please bear in mind that I have asked any woman - not even you - for a measurement, accurate or otherwise.

pm me your shoe size and i'll take a guess.

If I were to do that - which I see no reason to - there could be no possible guarantee of accuracy of the measurement concerned; I simply do not get the apparent correlation that you perceive between shoe sizes and certain other sizes. As a matter of no especial interest, do you also relate women's shoe sizes to their bra sizes and, if so, why?

Best,

Alistair

[imbetter]

i already have some on the way.

[ahinton]

Multiply, multiply my dear fellow.  Mine is something more like Shoe/.5="it"   And I wear 14s...   

RnB

Ah, that's as maybe - but "14" in which shoe size measurement?...

Best,

Alistair

[rach n bach]

Ah, that's as maybe - but "14" in which shoe size measurement?...

Since we are talking in "pianistimo," it's american.

RnB

[pianistimo]

i respect your right to privacy alistair - and i expect the same from you.  take my bra size off your post right now or i shall call you a hypocrite and a black kettle all in one breath.  btw, i agree that size isn't internationally standardized.  perhaps we need to measure in centimeters.  it sounds bigger anyways.

not that size matters.  i really meant to say earlier that i agree with alistair on this.  it's really a moot point when you meet the right person.  i think it's a bonus, no doubt, but not something that important as magazines advertising make it out to be.  that said, i wouldn't trade my husband for a lesser model (or a bigger one).  i think, in fact, too big could be a problem.  it might scare women off.

sorry to bring God in again - but not really.  i think he created us just the way we should be.  you can't really improve on God's designs.  in fact, i've read a lot of horror stories about women who went in for a bigger size and were damaged physically and psychologically by the surgery.  pain for one thing.  and then, limited mobility.  i mean - how fast can you move with luggage like that on the front?  you'd need some extra muscles in your forearm to hold them up once ina  while.  and , what about sagging.  i mean they wouldn't look so attractive in 5 or 10 years.  plus, i heard one woman's breast travelled around to under her arm.  she couldn't get it to go back in the right place.

penile implants sound extremely risky.  what if the doctor broke you to supposedly 'fix it.'  then, forever more - you are reliant upon a plastic or steel implant that never goes down.  what if you can't even pee anymores.  it sounds like a total nightmare.  sorry to get so personal - but people - stop and think.  if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[imbetter]

i have ordered the product solilquy has mentioned

[ahinton]

in any case, i respect your right to privacy alistair - and i expect the same from you.  take my bra size off your post right now or i shall call you a hypocrite and a black kettle all in one breath. 

You can call me what you like whenever you like, of course, but I'd really rather you first revealed where I included your bra size - which I do not know in any case - in any of my posts; when I wrote "this is Susan, she's a 38B" I enclosed those words between inverted commas just as I do here, on the understanding that it be read in the same way as the next phrase that I put between inverted commas in the same sentence - i.e. merely as an illustration, not as a fact. For the record, I not only do not know your bra size but I also do not know your height, weight or shoe size and, although I have an inkling that I know your age (as I think you mentioned it once recently) and the number of children and husbands that you have (as you've mentioned these on several occasions), I stress that I have never actually asked you for any of this data and wouldn't dream of doing so.

I would also rather you answered all of my last questions first before you call me anything; while you get on with doing that, I'll just go and put some nice Scottish water into my nearest kettle - which happens to be white, not black - and make some tea while I await those answers.

Best,

Alistair