Unappropriate language and chat banning

[danny elfboy]

I just found out that Xardas has been banned for using "unappropriate language"
In the banning email sent to him there were examples of his "unappropriate language"

Well the examples showed a kind of language that EVERYONE or at least 90% of the people in the chat has been using daily (especially the members from da SDC)

I can't see why there's a special focus on Xardas since he has been one of the least insulting and vulgar of the members in pianostreet.

Specifically the unappropriate language Xardas was using was in the context of a moment of general sillyness involving everyone.

please DON'T remove this post because I'm not talking about the banning of Xardas specifically but something general about the chat, so it's a message which is entitled to remain in this board:

1) If unappropriate language is a reason to ban someone 95% of the people from the chat should be banned RIGHT NOW.

2) A Moderator shouldn't just cherry-pick certain sentences but analyze the whole context and circumstance in which something is being said.

3) If suddenly there's an interest in making the chat free from insulting, annoying, discriminatory and obnoxious individuals ... then it's the people from da SDC community that should be banned and not otherwise respectful and nice members who just have been using an "unappropriate" language in a general moment of joking and not (like the people from da SDC) to insult others.

[imbetter]

i predict this getting deleted

[nicco]

I guess the moderator is just setting an example. Deal with it.

[nilsjohan]

We do not judge members on whether they are members of Da SDC or not (or any other commmunity for that matter) but on their behaviour here.
Banning happens only when reprimands have been ignored and is almost never based on single incidents.

[thalbergmad]

After consulting the Oxford English Dictionary, I am unable to find the word "unappropriate".

Can someone please explain.

Thanks

Thal

[nilsjohan]

"Unappropriate" is a misspelled version of the word "inappropriate".
A more tolerant attitude would be welcome, thanks.

[thalbergmad]

No probs boss.

[danny elfboy]

We do not judge members on whether they are members of Da SDC or not (or any other commmunity for that matter) but on their behaviour here.
Banning happens only when reprimands have been ignored and is almost never based on single incidents.

Not the case, I was there and has seen the /back chat.
The banned person used inappropriate language but it was only in the middle of a moment everyone was joking with vulgar words.
On the other hands there are people who have been using inappropriate language with the goal of harassing, offending and insulting people and they're still there while they should have been banned weeks ago.

[debussy symbolism]

Greetings

I do somewhat agree with Danny Elfboy concerning banning certain members. However, the chat room rules clearly state that members should only use "polite and friendly language." Obviously this doesn't happen to often, however mild the context. In almost every instance I have been in the chat room, particularly those instances that include many members concentrated in the same area, there is an abundance of such "unfriendly language." Technically speaking, everyone would get banned as many people do use that language; and not just the da SDC members.

Furthermore, I think another reason for banning certain members is concerning  who those members have been unfriendly to. I have heard that certain members used impolite jargons towards a member that is significantly below their age. To me, it is disrespectful to an even greater degree to insult a kid. Other than that I do not see a real reason to ban someone as long as the impolite language did not connote threat.

[thalbergmad]

Perhaps everyone should be banned then as that would undoubtedly cure the problem.

It is a chat room, mainly populated by young people (except myself) and occasionally things get a little heated.

Bleating about people who should have been banned weeks ago is completely pointless. We all have the ability to report things to the moderator. That should be done at the time it happens, not ages afterwards.

In addition, we all have the facility to open other rooms if we are not comfortable with the current conversation. Only last night, the chat split into 2 rooms. Those who wanted to talk about astrophysics and time travel and those who wanted to talk about my weight.

Out of the 5 people that remained in the former room, i could not but help notice that 2 were "away" and 1 was "busy".

I think we need to learn from what has happened and move on, so that this valuable part of the forum is not taken from us.

If i have offended anyone in chat, i humbly apologise. My own posting style is aimed at humour and is not designed to be malicious. Sometimes i think i fail in this.

I will undoubtedly choose my words more carefully in the future.

Thal

[Mozartian]

I have heard that certain members used impolite jargons towards a member that is significantly below their age. To me, it is disrespectful to an even greater degree to insult a kid. Other than that I do not see a real reason to ban someone as long as the impolite language did not connote threat.

On the surface I absolutely agree with you; but unfortunately the kid in question is in all honesty asking for every sort of abuse he gets. Someone who randomly says things like

"[membername] will you give me a full body sexual massage?"

and

"I just want you all to know, I could make [membername] pregnant if I wanted to"

Is most assuredly asking for every bit of trouble that comes his way. It's unfortunate that he doesn't even seem to mind, so long as he's getting some type of attention (but watch him when he's being ignored- wow, the histrionics).

It is also generally held that he is much older than 11 or 12; my personal opinion is that if he's really a preteen and his neurosis has already escalated to such heights, he's in urgent need of professional help. This is NOT normal behavior for a preteen, and could lead to extreme behavioral problems.

Thal- apology accepted. And I'll try to be calmer and not so emotional, haha.

[danny elfboy]

It is also generally held that he is much older than 11 or 12; my personal opinion is that if he's really a preteen and his neurosis has already escalated to such heights, he's in urgent need of professional help. This is NOT normal behavior for a preteen, and could lead to extreme behavioral problems.

No it's perfectly normal ... probably the opposite would be abnormal.
Those were the kind of topics and jokes I and all my classmates spent time with at that age and much earlier. Also that's just a surface too. Just because one makes such jokes it doesn't mean it is his only thought. If people were less superficial about their judgements (and it's so hypocritical and funny that they otherwise don't want superficial judgements when it's about them) they would see more in a person and his thoughts and feelings than just the joking surface that they (the judging people) themselves have triggered.

I could point out to real ABNORMAL behavior in the chat if one asked me rather than the kind of behavior that only those from the most ABNORMALLY bigoted and prudish country in the world could ever find NOT normal.

[imbetter]

i think we should put this whole event in the chat behind us.

[Mozartian]

i think we should put this whole event in the chat behind us.

Yeah, we should put it behind us. Unfortunately, it resulted in the banning of a few members, one of which was a pillar to pianostreet and will truly be missed.

[rach n bach]

Let's hope that changes...   

Group hug! 

[debussy symbolism]

"[membername] will you give me a full body sexual massage?"

and

"I just want you all to know, I could make [membername] pregnant if I wanted to"

Is most assuredly asking for every bit of trouble that comes his way. It's unfortunate that he doesn't even seem to mind, so long as he's getting some type of attention (but watch him when he's being ignored- wow, the histrionics).

It is also generally held that he is much older than 11 or 12; my personal opinion is that if he's really a preteen and his neurosis has already escalated to such heights, he's in urgent need of professional help. This is NOT normal behavior for a preteen, and could lead to extreme behavioral problems.

Thal- apology accepted. And I'll try to be calmer and not so emotional, haha.

I mostly take those chat incidents as funny and not at all insulting. In fact, the insults that we may put in towards the youngster will only damage HIM, as he isn't yet ready to deal with such conduct. If he instead persists to fire off those comments (and yes he is doing that just to get some kind of attention), then just ignore him. There is a term in psychology called "extinction," and it is the perfect solution. You keep on ignoring him and he will eventually get bored and will stop. Firing insults back at him will not make the attitude go away but instead increase it.

And yes such behaviour is normal for 11-12 year olds, especially males. In fact, I wouldn't be concerned if that behavior persisted for and even longer period of time, say to 15 and perhaps up to 16 years of age. It is not necessarily any kind of inimical intend on behalf of the teen, but more of a way of expressing his budding sexuality and just plain humour.

[danny elfboy]

I mostly take those chat incidents as funny and not at all insulting. In fact, the insults that we may put in towards the youngster will only damage HIM, as he isn't yet ready to deal with such conduct.

He is enterely ready to deal with such conduct and those insults won't harm me anymore than all the insults we have to deal in real life since age 6 and up.

[danny elfboy]

And yes such behaviour is normal for 11-12 year olds, especially males. In fact, I wouldn't be concerned if that behavior persisted for and even longer period of time, say to 15 and perhaps up to 16 years of age. It is not necessarily any kind of inimical intend on behalf of the teen, but more of a way of expressing his budding sexuality and just plain humour.

It's normal human behavior.
In the chat itself I've seen way worse than what imbty does as far as stupid jokes and sexual innuendos are concerned in people 10 and more years older the imbty.
It's harmless (and I can't think of anything that could be harmful in such situation, falling from trees is harmful not dealing with other people to levels above the simplistic "we all love each other as care bears do") fun and humour the lack of which makes life really miserable ...

[G.W.K]

Well...everyone has seen Xardas's behaviour. He insults people, uses vulgar language when this is a FAMILY site, young children come on to be confronted by sexual, discriminating, racial or sometimes death threats.

I think the moderators have lots of evidence when banning him but I have heard that sometimes moderators fail to notify the banned person that they are banned and why they are banned. (Xardas never said this)

So, I'm afraid Danny that I will have to agree with the PianoStreet moderators.

G.W.K