dear quantum, i'm so glad you're on the other side of it now! i hope that they got the entire tumor and that it doesn't return. you are a very special and kind person, too. and knowledgeable. i think the fear of operations is worse than being operated on. my husband had to have an operation once on his rotator cuff and i found it hard to breathe while he was being operated on. i would keep looking out the window at anything that was alive (like the tree outside) and think how amazing things were that were alive. even the tree.
doctors, on the other hand, don't know you from anybody (that's why it's good to bring family or friend). the more people outside pacing the hallways - the better, imo. puts more pressure on them. they know they can't botch the job.
my aunt's husband went in for a routine operation on his lower esophagus (valve) and they accidentally poked his spleen and had to remove it. that caused a whole series of bad stuff to happen to him and now he can't get a fever over 100 degrees or it might kill him. (not sure how this all relates to the spleen - but whatever!)
hope you are feeling much much better! susan
ps is anybody taking care of you? if not - ask the hospital if they have any volunteers who bring meals, etc. it's worth asking sometimes.