What does it mean to be "selfish" ?

[m1469]

In your own opinion, of course. 

And, what place do you feel 'selfishness' has in the world, if any ?

[thalbergmad]

To me selfish is simply putting yourself first and being insensitive to the needs of others.

I hate selfish people.

Thal

[opus10no2]

Well there are two kinds, since on a level - everyone is selfish.

1 - Harmonious selfishness - day to day give and take, kindness as a kind of investment to get it back, doing good deeds comes from an inner reward system, and that reward system is there to ensure a good and safe place for ourselves in society.

2 - Discordant selfishness - the kind that is resorted to by people who were unfortunate enough to perhaps have a childhood which didn't instill a faith in the reward system mentioned above, and those simply born with a mind less inclined to be capable of fitting in this way.

The 2nd kind is resorted to by many who live to regret it, or get caught up in a vicious cycle of it, perhaps.

Compromise can be a B!TCH, but it is a b!tch we must all learn to cope with, because it is what makes society work, and the rewards of living in a society - to MOST , greatly outweigh those of living outside it's bounds just to stubbornly refuse to compromise.

[pianistimo]

'he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully.  let each one do just as he has purposed in his heart; not grudgingly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver.'  II cor. 9:6

these words are so true.  i think if we get caught up in our own lives and forget what is happening around us - then it's rather a dull life.  sometimes it's location - where everybody seems to not care about anyone else.  i've been rather shocked at the hospitality of the people in pennsylvania.  it's normal to have these block parties in the summer.  we just had one today.  everybody brings a load of food, even the local firetruck shows up and the kids ride their decorated bikes behind it, games, swimming, mc's, bouncies, you name it.  it's hard to find this in some places - because people lose trust.  i think trust is the key to not being so selfish -but it does take some nurturing - as stevie said.  i mean - you can't raise a child in a dangerous part of the city and then expect that they will be stress free and just accept everyone as they are.  perhaps much of our society is based on not trusting, and being skeptical of people.

also, people tend to have extended families more in certain areas.  like pennsylvania - they even have grandparents day at school - where the grandparents come for a day.  they must have enough of a showing to make it worth having the day.  it's sweet and nice - although we had to adopt one because i moved far away from home.  moving away from home means a lot of sacrifices that you might not have to make had you stayed home.  extended family helps people learn about sharing when they are growing up.

[Bob]

Taking more than your fair share.

[thalberg]

Opus 10 no 2 shows great insight.

Selfishness plays a great role in the world if done harmoniously rather than discordantly. 

Christian pastor and author John Piper writes about this exact thing and has made a lot of money with his books.

Perhaps Op10no2 can take this concept to the non-Christian public and make a few bucks, too.  Think of all the people it would benefit...hehe.

[prometheus]

Doing something for someone else because you like to do it or because you expect to get something in reward is not selfishness. I dislike calling everything selfish.

So selfishness is generally damaging to the society a person lives in.

[zheer]

    The most felthy, greedy,durty and selfish people i've ever come across are the indians and packistany.

[elspeth]

Oy, that's racist! Maybe the individuals of your acquaintance have been like that but please don't start making generalisations like that.

[zheer]

Oy, that's racist!

  The indians and packistany were'nt like that, it is their pathetic existance in european nation that created the durt that they are.

[thalbergmad]

Interesting, please explain.

Or perhaps not.

Thal

[jakev2.0]

  The indians and packistany were'nt like that, it is their pathetic existance in european nation that created the durt that they are.

Jagdish Bhagwati says:



"Deez ****, zheer".

[opus10no2]

Doing something for someone else because you like to do it or because you expect to get something in reward is not selfishness. I dislike calling everything selfish.

So selfishness is generally damaging to the society a person lives in.

Well, depends on the definition of selfish -

'concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others'

Without 'to the exclusion of others' this forms the harmonious seflishness which I described above. Virtually everything we do is in our own best interest, even some seemingly selfless things.

Sacrificing you life for another, sacrificing something major for the survival or well-being of a loved one may be an exception, and it's a very interesting one.
It's interesting to consider what would motivate us to do something truly selfless, truly caring more about others than ourself..

[jakev2.0]

OK, a definition of terms may help the debate:

Selfish:

"is a culinary term for aquatic invertebrates used as food: molluscs, crustaceans, and echinoderms."

- Wikipedia.

Carry on. 

[soliloquy]

To be consistently callous to the needs, feelings and desires of others when making decisions that will effect them in some way.

[opus10no2]

Awwww, don't be so harsh on yourself. Make a contribution to the topic while you're at it 

[thalbergmad]

"is a culinary term for aquatic invertebrates used as food: molluscs, crustaceans, and echinoderms."

I think that was what Zheer was referring to.

Crushedasians.

Thal

Sorry, crap joke

[zheer]

Interesting, please explain.

   The vast magority , obviously not all, are very greedy, dis-honest people, interstingly many years ago the indians ( asians) were sent by the british to fight the Kurds, intrestingly the kurds slaughterd them. Even today and indian or a packistany are no match .

  ( i dont like them ) 

[thalbergmad]

The Indian who runs my local shop is very nice.

He once delivered some groceries when i was too ill to go shopping.

I think he overcharged me though.

Thal

[zheer]

   Yes sure, but thats all the do make money, some of that money goes into , terrorist activity.

[pianistimo]

?   

zheer. what about peace in the world.  you cannot say 'pakistani's or people from india are all this way.'  many people are greedy.  perhaps when one has to fight for their survival because of population explosions in some countries - there is another thing to think about.  just surviving.  making it.  growing up.  in one piece.  i can't imagine how hard the kurds have had it, too.  growing up in difficult circumstances should make people understand each other better.

i think we should appreciate what is good in each other.  obviously, i would not drive during rush hour in india.  but, hey - mayhem might be interesting compared to rural pennsylvania driving. 

[zheer]

?   

.  you cannot say 'pakistani's or people from india are all this way.'  many people are greedy.  perhaps when one has to fight for their survival because of population explosions in some countries - there is another thing to think about.  just surviving.  making it.  growing up. 

    The slave trade, the sex trade, criminal gangs, greed, scum and dirt, drugs, are due to this survival attitude, something packistan and india is full of especially amongst the very poor.

[zheer]

.

I think he overcharged me though.

Thal

  I hate it when they do that.

[pianistimo]

noone is scum.  people have needs.  sometimes they are not met.  who's fault is that?  i think whomever has the goods.  little children should all have access to healthy food and water so they can think and learn properly.  this is something that is not always a given in some places.  therefore - when people are not able to function in a healthy way - perhaps some of the blame is also environmental.

[zheer]

noone is scum.  people have needs.  sometimes they are not met.  who's fault is that?  i think whomever has the goods.  little children should all have access to healthy food and water so they can think and learn properly.  this is something that is not always a given in some places.  therefore - when people are not able to function in a healthy way - perhaps some of the blame is also environmental.

   As we all know for a hundred or so years the indians where under the British empire, the english basically took what they wonted rapped and murderd them. Today the indians and packistan have a very poor nation, but very greedy durty selfish money grabing individuals  living in Europe. Trust me on that, and BTW many top American people, good people were killed by the packistany, I dont like them

[thalbergmad]

   As we all know for a hundred or so years the indians where under the British empire, the english basically took what they wonted rapped and murderd them.

We did give them a decent railway and taught them how to play cricket.

Thal