thank you, alistair, for your always fair sided view of things (sometimes). i feel priviledged that you read my messages. crazy as they may sound to you at times.
btw, for everyone's information - i have asked the local psych guru cmg for three exercises in self-awareness. now, i realize if i asked this to thal, he would probably say - get a job, stop posting so much, don't think as you speak. rehearse things in your mind. this is a very hard thing for me. i tend to just 'say it like it is.' at least how i think it is. and, sometimes - yes, i am wrong. but, this is how to get feedback. for instance, if marik never argued with me about who was playing the moonlight sonata on xm radio (which never mentions the performer) i would continue thinking it was richter until i died. now, i feel more aware and thinking the probability is that it was rachmaninov. nobody could have convinced me otherwise excepting the self-awareness awakening marik gave me when he popped that bubble. i'm sort of glad that he did.