Pianostreet's Kindergarten

[cziffra]

this is absurd

[pianowolfi]

this is absurd

killjoy killjoy

[arensky]

killjoy killjoy

ya he's no fun da big poopy head  his daddy is a wiener head! 

[elspeth]

Play nicely, now, children... if you keep calling people names or stealing things you'll have to go sit on the naughty step!

[pianowolfi]

  *sits decently on his bench and practices scales on the 45 key keyboard*

[elspeth]

See, now you're being good you won't have to go sit on the step... And you can have a gold star for practicing!

[pianowolfi]

Ohhhhh so you mean I have six gold stars then? Does uncle Nils allow that?

[pianistimo]

the hidden people will steal them.  (*makes pianowolfi worry about nighttime and darkness and closed closet doors).

[pianowolfi]

 

[pianistimo]

just kidding.  jk jkjkjkj  k

[pianowolfi]

closed closet doors scare me the most. wahhh

[gerry]

They scared me too until Uncle Nils brought me out...

[jlh]

closed closet doors scare me the most. wahhh

Teacher!  Teacher!  Wolfi's hiding in the closet again! 

[pianowolfi]

Teacher!  Teacher!  Wolfi's hiding in the closet again! 

True. And I won't come out until I get a brand new Steinway to practice my scales on

[quantum]

Can I have a Bosie, Can I, Can I, Can I, Can I??

[gerry]

Let's all play ring around the Bosie

[arensky]

Let's all play ring around the Bosie

Bosie Dosie Fosie Gosie Hosie Josie Kosie Losie Mosie Nosie Posie Quosie Rosie Sosie Tosie Vosie Wosie Yosie Zosie  *is told to stop that annoying yammering* 

[pianistimo]

look....it's a bird, it's a plane, it's underbosie (flares the piano cover - and waves it up and down). 

[arensky]

look....it's a bird, it's a plane, it's underbosie (flares the piano cover - and waves it up and down). 

Oohhh, I see your underbosie, nyah nyah! 

wanna play piano tuner? 

[jlh]

Bosie bosie bo bosie banana-fanna fo fosie me my mo mosie, BOSIE!   

[ahinton]

OK, so there have now been 69 posts in this thread, so it's time for all the contributors to own up; which of you HAVE children and which of you ARE children? (no need for you to answer, Susan - we already know into which category you fall!)...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

alistair, come and sit down 'pretzel' style and join us.  *if you can do that - you are still a child. 

unfortunately, or fortunately - when i broke my leg on a playground i stopped being able to crawl under tables easily - and for that matter - sit pretzel style.

but, i can stand.  i'll tune the piano for everyone (gets out harmonica).

[ahinton]

alistair, come and sit down 'pretzel' style and join us.  *if you can do that - you are still a child.

Since I don't know what that means, I do not know whether I can or would want to do it or whether it might be physically painful...

Best,

Alistair

[quantum]

Sneaks into the snack corner to munchie on the pretzels while rest of class tries to sit like pretzels. 

[pianowolfi]

Oh quanty pleeehze can I have some pretzels can I can I??

[pianistimo]

are you sure you want one, pianowolfi?  i think somebody licked the salt on all of them.

[pianowolfi]

are you sure you want one, pianowolfi?  i think somebody licked the salt on all of them.

that was hinty, for sure that's why he is so quiet today here. yes I want I want Elspeth will bring new ones.

[elspeth]

What's the magic word, young man? I have to go to work now, but if you're remembered your manners by the time I get home I'll see what I can do...

[ahinton]

Pianowolfi mentioned my having been quiet on here today (albeit for quite the wrong reasons), so perhaps I'll endeavour to satisfy by breaking such silence with an admission that, whilst I am really rather out of my depth here (having no brothers or sisters, no children of my own and having hardly ever taught any children), what i would really like is a Big Red Fire Engine...

Phew - that was an effort - albeit not quite so tricky and perplexing as trying to adopt the presumably non-Yogic pretzel position...

Best,

Alistair

[elspeth]

Wolfi, no pretzels for you, I'm home from work and you didn't say please...

I'm sure a fire engine can be arranged, Alastair... after all, a kindergarten with the kind of budget for Steinways and Bosies should have no trouble with piffling matters like budget or car park space...

[ahinton]

Wolfi, no pretzels for you,

That's OK by me, especially since I'm not especially fond of pretzels (to eat, that is - i still have less than no clue about this "pretzel position" that's been mentioned in dispatches hereabouts...]

I'm home from work

Then have a nice relaxing and enjoyable evening (or what's left of it)

and you didn't say please...

Only because I had no realistic expectation that anyone would provide a Big Red Fire Engine to me upon "demand" and that, even if someone had done just that, I'd not have been sure how to operate it but would have been sure that I had no convenient place to park it so might accordingly have had to resort to selling it to the highest bidder...

I'm sure a fire engine can be arranged, Alastair... after all, a kindergarten with the kind of budget for Steinways and Bosies should have no trouble with piffling matters like budget or car park space...

See above; please (there - now I've said it!) don't worry about it. And, for the record, I'm Alistair, by the way, not Alastair. And since you've mentioned "Bosies", I'll happily sacrifice that Big Red Fire Engine for a brand new Bösendorfer 290, thanks (even though everyone here would almost certainly consider such a gesture to be utterly wasted on a non-pianist like me)...

[pianistimo]

i'm not sure if alistair realizes it yet - but the cost differential between a big red firetruck - unless he means REALLY big - is going to be hard to bid high enough to buy a bosie 290 with the profits.  but, i will say - despite a bosie's size - it is really not a concert hall instrument per se, imo.  orchestras can overpower them in as small a hall as the one in redding, pa.  (where i happened to see mark hamelin play the busoni concerto).  it wasn't terrible - but i'd have rather heard him play a steinway, myself.  you have to lean forward whenever the treble is played.

that said - i think the petrov and bosie's are are super soloing instruments within a salon.  can somebody buy the piano, the salon, the flowers, the water feature - AND the firetruck?  then we can hear alistair's works performed by jonathan powell in relative comfort and ease (for kindergartner's). in fact, cookies and milk sounds really good to me for intermission. 

can i ask one more favor.  can we see alistair attempt the pretzel position with his legs before he gets the pretzel.  i mean - if you hand a man everything upfront - he's likely to get lazy.  make him show you what he's got.

ps the big big pianos go out of tune faster, don't they?  by then end of the busoni there was a slight discrepancy of tune with the orchestra.  i think i'd pick a medium-sized piano.  also, what about cracking the soundboard? wouldn't it be easier to crack when it is moved?

[ahinton]

i'm not sure if alistair realizes it yet - but the cost differential between a big red firetruck - unless he means REALLY big - is going to be hard to bid high enough to buy a bosie 290 with the profits.

OK - so the Big Red Fire Engine can go - as in "Go You Big Red Fire Engine". I'll just take the piano thanks, please and whatever other word may suit the application.
can somebody buy the piano, the salon, the flowers, the water feature - AND the firetruck?  then we can hear alistair's works performed by jonathan powell in relative comfort and ease (for kindergartner's). in fact, cookies and milk sounds really good to me for intermission.
[/quote
You'd need only the piano and for someone to finance the venue (and the pianist, of course!). I don't think that what I write would be very suitable for kindergartners - not even my Six Easy Pieces for piano -and comfort and ease do not immediately suggest themselves as likely circumstances for any such performance either. Cookies and milk in the intermission sound quite awful.

can i ask one more favor.  can we see alistair attempt the pretzel position with his legs before he gets the pretzel.

Had you been paying attention, Susan, you'd have read that (a) pretzels don't appeal to me at all so I'd not especially want one and (b) I still have less than no idea what this "pretzel position" may be, even to the point at which i indicated that I'd rather avoid it if it's physically painful to adopt.

i mean - if you hand a man everything upfront - he's likely to get lazy.  make him show you what he's got.

I'm really not even going to begin to think of answering that...

ps the big big pianos go out of tune faster, don't they?  by then end of the busoni it was a slight discrepancy of tune with the orchestra.  i think i'd pick a medium sized piano.  just like big boobs - these things are overrated.

I've never even thought of comparing any aspect of a piano with any aspect of a woman's boobs; with a piano, one could say that it is the sound rather than the size that matters, but I'm by no means certain that I could say the same of a pair of boobs (in the sense of never having given detailed consideration to what boobs might sound like). Whilst I am no authority on large boobs, I have not even indirectly encountered any evidence to the effect that these go out of tune faster than more modest sized ones...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

excuse me, alistair- but you cannot suddenly play innocent after asking for a big red firetruck.  what did you expect?  i think you are subliminally a very disturbed kindergartner - wanting to compose in relative peace and quiet - whilst subjecting your listeners to discomforting situations in performance.  hard chairs.  lack of visible curves.  flat walls.  acoustics similar to warehouses.  frankly, it sound like a pancake that fell on the floor and someone wanting to pour syrup on it from three stories up.  *hey, this sounds fun.  maybe you are young at heart after all, alistair.  i knew it all along.

ps what's the matter with cookies and milk?  i am afraid you have never been initiated.

[pianowolfi]

Wolfi, no pretzels for you, I'm home from work and you didn't say please...

I'm sure a fire engine can be arranged, Alastair... after all, a kindergarten with the kind of budget for Steinways and Bosies should have no trouble with piffling matters like budget or car park space...

pleeeeeeaaaze *secretly eats cheasecakes in the meanwhile*

[pianistimo]

where's bob?  he used to stash things in his lair.  *cheesecake?  why didn't you say so?  shy young man, pianowolfi!

[ahinton]

excuse me, alistair- but you cannot suddenly play innocent after asking for a big red firetruck.  what did you expect?

Not to be taken seriously as actually asking for any kind of fire truck (especially since my home is not currently on fire)...

i think you are subliminally a very disturbed kindergartner - wanting to compose in relative peace and quiet - whilst subjecting your listeners to discomforting situations in performance.

This appears to make little sense, especially coming as it does from someone who has yet to hear any of what I write...

hard chairs.  lack of visible curves.  flat walls.  acoustics similar to warehouses.

What do you suppose that these have to do with what I write - and why?

frankly, it sound like a pancake that fell on the floor and someone wanting to pour syrup on it from three stories up.

I've never actually heard such a thing myself, but I would defy you not only to make a realistic and meaningful comparison between this and anything of mine but also to identify the sonic difference between this and the same thing where only two stories were involved; does a pancake falling on a floor of any construction make a sound identifiable as such?

*hey, this sounds fun.

To you, maybe...

maybe you are young at heart after all, alistair.  i knew it all along.

It's not for me to comment about either...

ps what's the matter with cookies and milk?  i am afraid you have never been initiated.

Respectively - (a) nothing if that's what you like and (b) you may be afraid and I may not have been initiated into these dubious delights but you need not be afraid and I need not pretend to be regretful at my avoidance of initiation into the said "delights"...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

you have probably never tasted organic cookies either?  like the 'crummy brothers' make.  when you eat the cookie - they drop these really big crumbs - so you can basically catch them in your hands.  a complete raisin and oatmeal chunk.  or whatever.  not the kind that crush into a million pieces like oreos.

ok.  so the delight would be in the health of the cookie.

the milk would also have to be none of this low-fat or non-fat variety.  completely healthy fat milk. 

ps notice i used the word 'situations' in reference to your composition.  needlessly you have gotten hot under the collar thinking i am referring to your composition style.  i was referring to the lack of visible comforts.  as i see it - one should have a blanket on every chair.  and possible- an extra thumb.  or, if the dollar store is out of those - an extra pair of red lips, or clappy hands.  and perhaps a few twirly straws for the milk.

[rach n bach]

Ali and piani go home... biiiig words no no...

[ahinton]

you have probably never tasted organic cookies either?  like the 'crummy brothers' make.  when you eat the cookie - they drop these really big crumbs - so you can basically catch them in your hands.  a complete raisin and oatmeal chunk.  or whatever.  not the kind that crush into a million pieces like oreos.

ok.  so the delight would be in the health of the cookie.

Yes, I have tasted some and maybe what you say in your last sentence works for you and possibly many others - but I'm just not especially fond of "cookies" per se; does my remark make sense to you now?

the milk would also have to be none of this low-fat or non-fat variety.  completely healthy fat milk.

Well, now that we've gotten those cookies out of the way, I'm certainly with you here; indeed, the best thing is to get raw - i.e. unpasteurised - milk if you can find any (you need to know and be on reasonable terms with a farmer with very high standards of animal husbandry if you want to be as certain as possible of risk avoidance here, for it's almost mpossible to buy the stuff from authorised retailers in most places). I have actaully on occasion tasted unpasteurised fresh Jersey, Guernsey and Ayrshire milk from organic herds and it is truly wonderful, although I'd not want to drink much of it; I love a fine cognac, too, but I can and do go weeks without one and don't feel the daily need of one.

ps notice i used the word 'situations' in reference to your composition.  needlessly you have gotten hot under the collar thinking i am referring to your composition style.

I was wearing a collarless shirt when reading your post, actually, but even had that not been the case, I would not have gotten - and indeed did not get - "hot under the collar" at all, nor did I assume that you had said anything about my compositional manner, which I'd hardly have expected in any case from someone who has not yet heard a note of mine...

i was referring to the lack of visible comforts.  as i see it - one should have a blanket on every chair.  and possible- an extra thumb.  or, if the dollar store is out of those - an extra pair of red lips, or clappy hands.  and perhaps a few twirly straws for the milk.

Not for the first or even the umpteenth time, you've lost me now - I just don't get what you're saying here. What precisely do you mean by "lack of visible comforts in the specific context (whatever that was)? Why have blankets on every chair and what in any case has that to do with what you were talking about? We don't have "dollar stores" over here but, even if we did, I rather doubt that any of them would retail thumbs. I don't understand the bit about the red lips or the clappy hands. I know that certain cocktails are served with straws, but I'd hardly have considered them to be vitally necessary for their maximum enjoyment (although I suppose someone might put up some kind of argument in favour of "sex on the beach with a straw"). My attempts to analyse and understand this paragraph of yours have now shown themselves to be diligent and well-meaning but in the end a failure; I just cannot follow Susanesque streams-of-semi-consciousness, I guess...

Best,

Alistair

[pianowolfi]

Ali and piani go home... biiiig words no no...

yes and piani even said "boobies" though we are not allowed to say that

[gerry]

It's amazing how the spirit of this string stays alive in spite of so many attempts to sabotage it.

[ahinton]

yes and piani even said "boobies" though we are not allowed to say that

It was I who mentioned "boobs" and I was and am not aware that Nils has established a moratorium on references thereto on this forum; even then, my use of the term was strictly in response to Susan, who is inevitably by definition rather better endowed in that department than I am.

Best,

Alistair

[ahinton]

It's amazing how the spirit of this string stays alive in spite of so many attempts to sabotage it.

Are you implying that you are an expert on string theory? It's also rather hard to tell with certainty what might and might not constitute attempts at "sabotage" when what is allegedly being "sabotaged" has not even been established in the first place...

Best,

Alistair

[elspeth]

Simmer down, children... Anyway, I'm just about to make breakfast, who's for toast with jam? Although you will have to go wash your hands afterwards, we don't want sticky fingermarks on the assorted pianos.

Wolfi, in future cheesecake is only allowed if you bring enough for everyone...

[ahinton]

Simmer down, children... Anyway, I'm just about to make breakfast, who's for toast with jam?

Just a coffee for me, thanks! And, while we're about it, isn't the phrase "wake up and smell the coffee" rather silly, since one has to be awake in the first place in order to make the coffee...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

coffee?  at his age?  what?  did he grow up smoking, too?  (we will leave out the 'sex on the beach' comment).  and here i thought that alistair was an upstanding kindergartner.  keep tabs on him elspeth. 

[ahinton]

coffee?  at his age?  what?  did he grow up smoking, too?

If it's still me that you're referring to, I began smoking at the age of 14 as a consequence of being given cigarettes at school on a fairly regular basis and I gave up within less than a year and have never smoked a single thing since.

(we will leave out the 'sex on the beach' comment).

"Sex on the beach" - in case you did not already realise - is the name of a cocktail (if I may put it like that without digging myself in yet deeper); I just thought that it might be wise to clarify this.

and here i thought that alistair was an upstanding kindergartner.

Since I'm not even sure what one of those is, nor of what precisely is being referred to by the word "upstanding" in this context, I fear that you faith in that regard may well be gravely misplaced.

keep tabs on him elspeth. 

Elspeth cannot "keep" what she does not already have - and I am certainly unaware that she has any "tabs" on me.

Much as I try my best at times to understand those things that you write which are by no means amenable to easy understanding, I still wonder if you might be rather better off practising Schumann's Kinderszenen (or maybe even Busoni's An die Jugend if you're a tad more ambitious)...

Best,

Alistair

[pianistimo]

alistair - ok.  i'll post the kinderszenen if you tell me to.

exactly what is the aforementioned cocktail made of?  wonders about the pills in alistairs pockets, too.  (just kidding of course).  and elspeth should be very good at twisting the truth out of you - after all those...  well, shall we call them 'confessions.'

considering that you once said you gave a teacher corporal punishment - i would be careful elspeth.

[pianowolfi]

Just a coffee for me, thanks! And, while we're about it, isn't the phrase "wake up and smell the coffee" rather silly, since one has to be awake in the first place in order to make the coffee...

Best,

Alistair

I hear the single speaking *brings cheesecake for everyone*