how much should i be concerned?

[n_n]

Hello teachers,

I'm actually a student wanting to hear teachers' opinions on my concern.

I really love playing the piano. I have played since I was little, as a hobby (and a passion for sure), and I never stopped playing, so as a young adult, my hands can do pretty much everything on the piano, but I lack the common musical sense that well-trained students who have always been on the professional path have. I do hear the music in my heart as the greatest masters make them sound, as i have a wall of records, and I love to lose myself (or found, either way) in the great music, but a lot of times what I hear in my heart does not reflect onto the keyboard under my fingertips. My playing is simply boring and even awkward a lot of times (of course not entirely. Thank God...)

I did get to study with a teacher from a top conservatory not long ago. I cherish the opportunity a LOT, more than I could ever express, but I always feel that I'm not a conservatory stud and have tons of problems, some might be very basic and stupid, compared with his other students. Though I am playing some difficult pieces a conservatory stud would play, I still feel this immense lack of confidence. I even feel a little embarrassed walking on the hallway of the conservatory. It's my dream place to be, but it does feel like JUST a dream to me. Yet I want to belong there. I want to eventually get to a top conservatory though I don't know when, maybe in 2 years, or maybe 5, then I'd be quite old (for being a student). anyway...

My teacher is extremely patient,  very effective at teaching, and himself an excellent performer, too. He could work on little details with me for a long time, maybe an hour to go over 2 pages (our of 50) of music, or 10 minutes on a phrase... and I perfectly love the way he teaches me. He's the best teacher I've ever had since I was little. The things he taught me have opened a whole new world of music for me. It seems like he can always zoom in the music indefinitely. Just as I get a little bored from practicing, boom, they next week, I'm zoomed into another scale and I find all these interesting things I've missed. Those little details appeal to me like magic or as the moment upon a little girl hearing a beautiful fairy tale for the first time.  Yet I know those magic I found must be the "default" things in a professional-path student's playing. I wish I have been studying with him since I was little! and now the more I learn, the farther I feel I'm behind everyone else. I could live with it if I were to play for my own pleasure, but I do have a dream to attend a top conservatory one day.

The thing is... the more I appreciate his teaching, the more I'm afraid to frustrate this teacher. As I said, we ususally just work on one piece a time, actually a few pages of a long piece a time. I really like it this way because the things we work on are always NEW, but I'm afraid he will be tired of it soon. His patience is just unbelievably good so far, and as sometimes I feel so bad for him having to tell me how to handle every detail due to my lack of common sense and good habit, he would actually thank me for my patience and ask me to forgive him to be so detailed. Of course I say that's what I want and need, but as a very introverted person, I think I haven't let him know exactly how much I appreciate his teaching. I'm very concerned that he might actually feel desperate or hopeless hearing me play cos of the so many things he has to correct, though he seems extremely kind and patient. I don't know. I might just be thinking too much and have my self-esteem set too low (I know I can WOW the amateurs but that I don't care since I wanna be a professional).

Sorry about writing so much and thanks to everyone who has read thus far. and I know, I didn't really make a point, nor did I express clearly what I was concerned with - a lot of things on my mind. Any advice or comment is appreciated from a teacher's point of view! Thanks!!!!!!!!

[amelialw]

I am a teacher myself, and still a piano student.

My teacher sometimes ends up having to spend an hour on just 1 piece and she does it pretty often. When I 1st came to her, everything was so bad that she still is unable to believe what we have gone through together and in the course of 4 yrs change everything for me and make this a possible career for me.

Yes I do understand that it is frustrating for you and can be even more so for your teacher, but do not fret, if your teacher is not making any complaints be happy that you have a teacher just like that. Actually you could always help out by practising a little more and just putting in more effort during the times that you practise.

haha...it's the same for me, expect my teacher always tells me to use more of my common sense but as you can guess i'm not that kind of person. The other thing for me is that I learn how to play music by ear, yes, I do know how to read notes fast and fluently but I just am able to pick something up more easily when I hear it. many times I will go for lessons, things will be learnt but even some other things that are a little more obvious on the score have to be learnt by my ear, once I pick it up, I will be able to play it that way. Now of course, I am able to learn pieces independently but still there will be a huge difference if I listen that same piece.

My teacher did tell me just a few lessons ago how frustrating it was for her but at the same time so rewarding an experience. She is my best friend now practically and does not expect anything from me for what she has done.

If your teacher is that kind of teacher, appreciate it, there are few teacher in this world who are like that.

Besides that, all I can say is that sometimes if you notice that things are this way you have to just have the self-motivation on your own and don't give up.

[hyrst]

Hi,
It sounds to me like your self-esteem is the main issue here - and what you think other people have achieved.  Perhaps you do have a lot to learn, and a lot of technical development needed, but there is also the potential to explore pieces in so much depth.  I don't think music is ever played 'perfectly' and playing in front of our teachers when we lack confidence we tend to play more poorly than when we practice.  You are lucky to have a teacher who has the skill and knowledge to take you ever deeper.

I understand the feeling, because I feel very similar - I have a teacher who teaches internationally, and I rarely get a compliment.  I started lessons at the beginning of the year after many years of no lessons - about 20, actually.  I have grown a lot this year, but I never seem to wow my teacher and rarely hear compliments - while I hear stories of brilliant adolescents or younger who can do things and it sounds so easy to them.  I think the reality is that even these apparently wonderful young musicians started somewhere, too.

Now, as a teacher, my job is to take the student on further than they are.  That means that my time teaching is spent analysing, correcting and encouraging the student forward - no matter what their level.  It is hard work.  It can be repetitive.  Often students are not able to do what to me seems very easy - it takes them work and awareness they have yet to develop.  That is why they need a teacher.  Some students pick things up more easily, some have no problems with issues that others struggle endlessly to overcome.  It can be nice not to have to deal with some problems, and there are times when I get to just listen to what the student has achieved - the exception rather than the norm.  This is what teaching is all about.  This is my job - just as it is your teacher's job and he sounds happy enough doing it or he wouldn't be the good teacher he seems to be. 

What makes the difference when a student struggles is that they listen and try to apply everything I tell them.  Sure, it can test my patience and theirs at times - but I would rather teach a student who works hard and listens well than anything.  I am  sure you are doing better than you think, anyway - I keep telling myself the same thing.

Lastly, I am aware that it is common practice in Australia not to pass first time diploma candidates - including many who study at the conservatorium.  At a conference, a senior lecturer said that many of the young students have accurate technique but lack the depth of understanding and expression.  Experience and understanding are gifts that older students are fortunate to possess.

One of the biggest satisfactions for a teahcer is a student who tries and wants to learn.

[n_n]

Thank you so much, amelialw and hyrst!

I feel better as I think about how patient my teacher is, and knowing there're indeed teachers who think "the biggest satisfactions for a teahcer is a student who tries and wants to learn." =)

There're so many piano talents nowadays. At least it seems to me that way. I know friends who are really amazing pianists. I see in media all those geniuses, younger and older ones... I somehow feel like I'm wrong if I'm not one of those. I feel desperate that I love playing the piano so much and want to devote my life to music somehow, but I can't even say I'm good at it. I guess that's the sorce of all my frustration.

I do practice hard, not as hard as I want yet, but on average 4 hrs a day (I'm also learning pieces my teacher hasn't heard me play yet). I could pretty much absorb all the things I learn from one lesson in a day's practice, but in the following lesson, there're always a lot more new details introduced to me. It's fun for me, but I don't know how teachers think about it, as I don't know what is considered common sense in music interpretation and what's not. I really know there's no limit in improving piano playing. Anyway, I should go practice now. =)

Thanks again!!!

[nwcp]

hi n_n!

Somehow I think I know your feeling, hehe..it's because I also have a very good teacher (IMO) for me who really concern. Don't worry by things like how about if he get bored to teach you, and did you make him dissapointed or not..well, I also thought like that before. But, if he knows that you put an effort to really work hard and keep on trying, it should be ok because teacher always appreciate that

Concerning about what you say that you affraid that your teacher doesn't know how much you appreciate his teaching, I think you can give him compliment, such as cards or gifts (hand made will be better), and say that you really appreciate his teaching and what has he done for you, you can also say that he influenced you a lot in many ways, such as...
I suggest you to write in a cards of something like that is because I'm considering that you are an introvert person. I'm also like that. You can do this maybe on the  christmas card, or bday card, or other occasions as well.

Good luck for your learning

[m1469]

If showing your teacher how grateful you are for his teaching is your concern here, I am quite determined that the best way to show gratitude for his teaching is by dedicating yourself to really learning what he has to teach.  As a teacher myself, I do enjoy cards and presents and such, but nothing makes me feel more appreciated than a student really taking in (practicing, exploring, asking questions, learning, growing) what I have spent years of my life studying and trying to understand in such a way that I could pass it on to a student who is willing to take it in and make it their own ! 

Even if a student doesn't feel attached to me personally, but deeply appreciates the knowledge that I pass on to them, that is quite great !  In a sense, I would almost prefer that even ... if they value the actual tools and the actual knowledge as the key to their success as an artist, vs. me being the key to their success.  This would mean, to me, that they really "got" it .

[nyonyo]

If I were you, I would have picked shorter pieces so that I can master the pieces.
It is very difficult for people like us who have average talent to conquer big work.
I have similar teacher like yours, he is from Moscow Conservatory, Julliard etc and also won many international competitions. When I played badly, I felt embarrassed. But I keep trying to get better. They understand that we are not those conservatory people whose life just to play piano.

[mknueven]

n_n,
I think you had a lot of good responses -
I am a piano teacher - and I will always be a student too
(I like it that way! -

You are probably learning so much and have no idea how much you have learned because the more you learn - the more you realize how much more there is to learn.You would think it would work the other way - but it really doesn't! 

I agree with m1469 about how to show  your appreciation (since this is important to you)
The more you work out the music and the technique and new skills and polish your music - that is all the thanks that I need!

The other thing I know - is that many people feel the same way you do - but would never voice it - in other words - they may look really confident, but not always the case.

The important thing is that you are studying music (something that you love) and you are learning and getting better.  I have to believe that someone who practices 4 hours a day is dramatically getting better.

I just had a week off where I was able to practice 6 hours a day - and had a great coach - I was so surprised at how much better I got.  But the better I get - the more sensitive my ear gets - and it notices missing dynamics - or held back dynamics that it would not have noticed before.

Really - it's a piano's teacher job to target problematic spots in a piece - and help you.  If theyget frustrated - it's not a good sign that they are cut out for teaching.  And it sounds like you have a really great teacher.

It is your time slot - and your money - and your musical ability that you are trying to enhance.
So play loud and proud.