"Day After" -- Improv

[m1469]

You see, I finally have time at the piano and as it turns out, I have things to say.  It seems also, that posting my improvs here is some form of "writing" them down for me, at least at the time.  So, here we are.

This improv is actually based on something quite specific and was an accompaniment to the intense visions in my mind.  This is a vision I have had on several (many) occasions, or perhaps it's something that never quite goes away.  However, I finally put it into some kind of music.  The vision itself could be represented many different ways, I suppose.  Sometime I guess I will acutally compose a symphony or something "about" it.  Right now, though, I have a difficult time wanting to actually commit things to paper ... it almost doesn't make sense to me to do so.

Also, I am at a point where, today anyway, I have glimpses of a different aim in my music.  Perhaps I would like to let go of a concept that I must have the music be a certain way in order to have it be "music."  Perhaps I would like to just say what I have to say and stop trying to fit it into the mental-confines of what seems acceptable in the world to me.  I find I am often wanting to push that envelope anyway.

Maybe I ought to make a painting ?

I almost always feel like I cannot quite reflect what is inside of me.  Like I wish my hands went somewhere different at a certian point than what they actually did.  I find that frustrating because I can hear something in my mind that does not actually *always* come out (though, okay, many times it does). 

It is my impression that "the really good improvisers" do not have this problem.  That they can get out exactly what is in them and exactly when they want.  Part of me also suspects that this idea though, is just another little elusive shadow or so, which will ultimately lead one to "greater" heights and in all the while, make one think they are always chasing something just out of reach.  I think as a result, what you hear is a bit of a sketch.  As I listen to it, I can hear where I would like to elaborate and change things a bit, I suppose that is how an actual composition is formed, at least one way it is formed.

Along these lines, though, I feel like I am wanting more imagination and more ideas.  That is one reason I enjoy listening to other people's improvisations.  When listening to other people's improvs, I find myself thinking at times, "wow, I never thought of it like this" ... that's a nice time listening, as far as I am concerned .

Thanks for listening.

[pianowolfi]

This is something very outstanding and meaningful, m1469. 

Answers seem to be the trend at the moment, so I feel like answering with one of my improvs, the oldest thing I ever posted here so far. Your "Day After" reminded me so much of this. I played it on May 30, 2003 and it's called "Meditation".

(Oh wow, I think it would be fun to have a jam session with you and quantum )

[arielpiano]

Cool, but very sad.

[m19834]

Wolfi, thank you for your improvisational response, and arielpiano, thank you for your response.  I have been debating for a time as to whether I should ever post what this improvisation is 'about', and I just feel the need to do so.  This is one of very few that were truly based on something very specific, and perhaps programmatic in that sense.

I remember the particular moment I improvised this, and I actually went into a very specific "place" -- this improvisation is based on what it would be like to wake as the sole survivor to a nuclear holocaust, as the individual whose greediness had overtaken him/her so much that s/he actually was the one to have pushed the button.  S/he had a family, it's just that, as human behavior seems to be, egotistical thinking, greedy and selfish appetites, the belief of man as the center of his own universe ... leading him/her to create the world that s/he apparently desired ... waking to the destruction of what s/he had done ... having gotten his/her wish, but realizing the kind of loneliness that life is, and then realizing so deeply the mistake that s/he had made ... but not being able to reverse it.

The silence at the beginning is deliberate, and meant to represent the kind of silence the world would be... the lonely, cold, rigid note is somehow dissonant all by itself, representing a single, unsure, scared voice, calling deeply into the emptiness and having nothing at all in response but the echo of the voice calling out.  It takes a while for the echo to arrive back, and when it does it is a bit distorted (at a different pitch) as it has traveled actually around the entire world, searching for survivors (and finding none, reporting back).  From there it is a call and response between the sole voice and echo, and eventually turns inward to the individual coming to grips with what s/he has done.

[pianowolfi]

I'm right now listening to this the first time since back then, I remember that day and I remember your words about it, exactly as you've now explained here.

That's a very special moment...listening and living

Thank you

[furtwaengler]

Wolfi, thank you for your improvisational response, and arielpiano, thank you for your response.  I have been debating for a time as to whether I should ever post what this improvisation is 'about', and I just feel the need to do so.  This is one of very few that were truly based on something very specific, and perhaps programmatic in that sense.

I remember the particular moment I improvised this, and I actually went into a very specific "place" -- this improvisation is based on what it would be like to wake as the sole survivor to a nuclear holocaust, as the individual whose greediness had overtaken him/her so much that s/he actually was the one to have pushed the button.  S/he had a family, it's just that, as human behavior seems to be, egotistical thinking, greedy and selfish appetites, the belief of man as the center of his own universe ... leading him/her to create the world that s/he apparently desired ... waking to the destruction of what s/he had done ... having gotten his/her wish, but realizing the kind of loneliness that life is, and then realizing so deeply the mistake that s/he had made ... but not being able to reverse it.

The silence at the beginning is deliberate, and meant to represent the kind of silence the world would be... the lonely, cold, rigid note is somehow dissonant all by itself, representing a single, unsure, scared voice, calling deeply into the emptiness and having nothing at all in response but the echo of the voice calling out.  It takes a while for the echo to arrive back, and when it does it is a bit distorted (at a different pitch) as it has traveled actually around the entire world, searching for survivors (and finding none, reporting back).  From there it is a call and response between the sole voice and echo, and eventually turns inward to the individual coming to grips with what s/he has done.

Does anybody else think it's strange that this is the last post in a month and a half of a normally very prolific poster? Should we be concerned? I hope everything is okay. 

[pianowolfi]

Does anybody else think it's strange that this is the last post in a month and a half of a normally very prolific poster? Should we be concerned? I hope everything is okay. 

I think yes, fortunately everything is okay, as far as I can say

[goldentone]

Does anybody else think it's strange that this is the last post in a month and a half of a normally very prolific poster? Should we be concerned? I hope everything is okay.  

 K. has taken a sabbatical for now from the forum.  She is doing fine.

[furtwaengler]

Maybe not intended, but 'Twas a dramatic, theatrical departure!

[chopinatic]

This is in my opinion what improv is about, nothing too fancy nothing amazingly techincal, just feelings, and emotions, and passion.

This is great, it seemed mornful, and very emotional.

Thanks for sharing it