I can't see Debussy or Ravel getting into a fight. Debussy would be off lounging on a hill on a hot summer day. I'm not sure what Ravel would be doing. Maybe if Ravel fought, it wouldn't be an easy fight. His lowest level of fighting would still be pretty tricky.
Scriabin would be off in the middle east enjoying himself in a temple dedicated to himself, his music, his color-light show. He'd be too busy and into himself to fight.
Now Wagner. I could see Wagner being very intimidating. Just one look. I'd like to see Wagner go up against Beethoven. That might be an even match. Imagine that.
Mahler put up a fight, get stabbed in the heart, but continue to fight even though it's painfully obvious he's going to die. There would be a lot of suffering and it would a take a long time, but he would die in the end. Angels would come down and Mahler himself would have predicted that he'd lose the fight. Even with the sweet release of death, there would still be a lingering doubt about everything and the world. Those present at the fight would saw it was long and drawn out and just a bunch of motion, but later "fight observers" would find significant meaning in it all.
Bernstein would really get into his fighting and enjoy himself. Any watching watching or even the opponent would enjoy the show.
Bruckner would drag the fight out. It would very long and would invoke God a lot.
Bach would work very hard at his fighting. He would travel great distances on foot just to fight. His fighting would appear to be simple but have a lot of thought behind it. There would be hidden meanings behind some of his moves. And somehow, he'd manage to have a few more kids during the fight. The kids would also join in during the fight because they like to things as a family.
I think Liszt would kick ass. He put up a good show and would have a lot of technical skills. People would argue whether he really had any heart or spirit in his fighting though and that it's all just for show. But I don't think many would defeat Liszt. If it's the old Liszt, he might give you last rights or pray for you after he knocks he out.
Bartok would study the fighting style of the country folk and then bring that into the city.
Grainger would actually record fighting among the country folk. You'd have to watch Grainger though because he might bring whips and chains to the fight. If he ever invites you over to his house for a special fighting session with some of his friend, be vary wary, unless you're into that sort of thing.
Schumann. I don't about him. He would probably break a finger during the fight though, I know that. He'd be very rhythmic about his fighting. Clara would probably have to step in to do his fighting.
Brahms would fight in a style similar to Beethoven but add his own things. It might take him twenty years to actually get around to fighting you. You'd have to be careful with Brahms though. He might steal your girlfriend during the fight. Unless he actually ended up fighting your girlfriend.
Brahms would probably always fight by himself. He wouldn't have a group of close friends around to cheer for him.
Gershwin would be old school, roll-up-your-sleeves, backstreet alley fighting.
Copland would be down and dirty, western style fighting. He might fling sand in your eyes.
Schubert would lose. You wouldn't even have thought he was in a fight. There was no one there for Schubert to fight. Some little kid would tell you over and over that Schubert was going to lose, but you wouldn't take him seriously until it was too late and he had already lost.
I can't see Mozart being much of a fighter. He would travel around a lot though and his father would be his coach. Mozart would train with his sister, although his sister would not actually fight much in public. He would fight young. People would be amazed to see such a young toddler out fighting. He might even bring cymbals into the fight because he'd seen the Turks do that. A Jannisary band would march out before the fight. Mozart would die in the ring though and people say it was Salieri would defeated him. After the fight, no one would be able to find Mozart's body. Mozart would attempt to get paid to fight but wouldn't be very successful.
Beethoven would get paid to fight and would earn a living off it and join the ranks of the rich and famous. Say what you want to Beethoven during the fight though. He would never respond. If you got pinned and in an headlock, he might put his ear right up your face so he could hear you screaming.
Handel would be killed during the fight. He'd get paid to fight though. People would pass around his head for centuries.
Lully would punch himself during the fight and eventually from his self-inflicted injury.
Benjamin Brittain and Edward Elgar would fight according to the Queen's rules. Brittain would explain each type and demonstrate for the children in the audience. Elgar would shout out letters that few people knew true meaning of during the fight. Even later people would still not know what the heck he was talking about. Elgar would not be someone to invite to graduation cermony as he'd try to engage the graduates in a fight. Most members of the audience wouldn't realize a fight was actually going on during the graduation until halfway through the fight.
Kent Kennan and Walter Piston would be around after the fight to explain what all the moves were and what they meant to anyone who cared to go that in depth into things. They might bring up ideas from Fux but then some people would think they weren't talking about fighting at all anymore at that point.
Most people wouldn't care to see composers fight though. They would prefer to Britanny Spears and Madonna fight instead. Those two would not actually be fighting themselves and rather would mime fighting while drinking softdrinks products especially apparent in certain places druing the fight. Any video of the their fighting would have the latest technical innovations applied to it and it would appear flawless. While people would pay great amounts of money to see those two fight live, a huge amount of people would illegally download copies of their fight over the internet. Spears would carry her baby around during the fight (head shaved of course for the fight) and would be heavily critized for doing that, while Madonna would be lauded as paving the way for women to break into fighting more. Madonna would have an entourage of fit men dressed in leather supporting her. A lot of men would watch the fight, not really caring who won or lost.
John Williams would be very cool to watch fight. He would "the force," be able to use light sabers, be able to fly around on bicycle or a broomstick, and could fight like a cowboy but in the style of the late Romantic composers. Whether it was a fight for good or evil, you know it would have a very cool style about it.
John Thompson would teach children to fight. He would start by having them make a fist with five fingers. Suzuki would teach children to fight by having it be part of a loving, nurturing family environment. Suzuki's fighting children would be impressive but might have no clue what they heck they're doing. They're just imitating what they have seen. Parent would have to present at each fight, sometimes demonstrating fighting techniques to the students. If the children ever show signs of fatigue during the fight, such as yawning, then the fight immediately stops. Children in the public schools would fight a lot but not at a very high level. Most would not fight again after high school.
Dang... This stuff sounds good, at least to me. Like that book about the composers, I forget the title now. I should publish this stuff. Make money.
© 2008 Bob. These thread postings. Technically, I believe once I post this, it becomes copyrighted whether I actually submit official paperwork or not. Or maybe I could just email this post to myself...
Topic: Which of the great composers would win in a street fight?