Okay, well, I appreciate the responses and I have calmed down a little bit since posting this thread

. Let me say, I have been in kind of a great debate with myself over this thing for years actually, but all the while, as I pursue my musical/life interests, my life seems to take me (right now anyway) in this direction.
One thing that I have recently realized is that all of these people, whatever their particular accomplishments, well they are just people, too. And, I am interested in getting to know people, I just would like to stay focused on that particular aspect more than on other things (and that is my choice afterall).
I have an underlying musical goal, which is primarily that of teaching, actually. Funnily enough, I would like to be able to provide an incredibly unique music/life education for a select group of students. This particular type of education is such that it lives only in my imagination and wildest musical dreams at the time ... and because of that, there is still so much of it that I can't actually see.
What that all means in relation to this thread, is that I would use whatever I "got" out of pursuing this performance path as a means of ultimately serving my educative goals. In a sense, I suppose I am actually currently pursuing a path of fame, however, it is not for the
sake of fame, but for the sake of my ultimate musical goals. I am ultimately pursuing a path of musical freedom and I have realized that I should not limit what form(s) this pursuit takes, based solely on how something may appear on the outside.
My deepest musical goals may take years to come out right -- it is just some seed that has been deeply inside of me since I have been on earth. In the meantime, I will follow whatever paths seem to give my ultimate musical goals a channel of expression and some form or structure to develop within.
Now, how is all of that for jibberish ?

All of what I just said is how I feel inside but I can't imagine it makes an ounce of sense or has real meaning to others on the outside.
