The "most stupidest" thing you've ever heard . . . .

[Essyne]

hehe. . . stories? I bet yours can top mine by a long shot.

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I kid you not - yesterday 3 cheerleaders came into my APUSH class and begged the teacher to lie to their coach by telling her that they were taking a test.

"But Mr. SoandSooooo!" they whined. "We have to run, like, twoooo miles, and if our coach sees that we're like, laaatttee, then she'll make us, like, run the first foouuuurrrr"

I laughed.

Hard.

[tompilk]

my dad once pointed out that it is really annoying that calor (camping gaz) gas always runs out when you're cooking with it... lol... 

[thierry13]

That Richter was against this practice. (memorizing)  This one really got to me lol.

[pies]

a

[soderlund]

In history class today when we were discussing the trade between the Roman empire and the Handynasty in China around 100 BC a girl in my class seriously thought there were trains going in between. When the teacher said that they mostly used camels she said "Oh, are there camels in China?! Cool!".

Speaking of Pearl Harbor, this same girl was convinced it was China that bombed it.

I don't think she is that stupid really though, she just doesn't think even for a microsecond about what she is saying, and it always come out really loud, so everyone can hear.

[Bob]

I have spidi-senses, so that makes more than five. 

I don't have any really good ones.

Me, recently:  I can boil toast and stuff.


Awhile ago, student's response.  This is a little kid.
Me:  What's your favorite animal?
Student:  Ham

[gerry]

Once after a choral concert at a church, I asked a couple at the reception what they thought of the performance and the wife cheerfully replied, "I don't know, we don't really like music." After an awkward moment of stunned silence, I fled in terror.

[pianochick93]

Today my sister was talking to me about a guy sitting outside of the museum. Apparently he was covered in chickens.

I think she meant pidgeons.

[ryanyee]

stupidest thing so far is that my indian classmate said that beethoven was stupid. *** bangladeshi!

[s_bussotti]

stupidest thing so far is that my indian classmate said that beethoven was stupid. *** bangladeshi!

What the ***.  Best to keep flagrant racism to a minimum.

[indutrial]

I try not to ever be that high-minded musician guy, but once I was at a CD store and some loud-mouthed 20-something girls were milling about in the classical section and one of them loudly said something like "oh, WOOOW, I love Chopin, he plays awesome!!" I don't know which was funnier, the fact that she seemed to think Chopin was alive and cutting records or the fact that she pronounced his name like "choppin", as in what people with speech impediments do to trees.

I had a literature professor once who stated that "it's ill-likely that the quiz will be rescheduled." I can understand "creative writing" but "creative vocabulary" is pushing things, no?

[Essyne]

At a dance competition, during a jazz routine. . . .

"I LOVE Billie Holiday!"

"OH MY GOD! ME TOO! He is just SO wonderful - is this a new one?"


 .................?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Essyne]

I find interesting ways to entertain myself when @ school . . . . esp. when everyone has an IQ lower than a rock. . . . .

I had an audition immediately after school a while back, so I had worn my aud. clothes to school (black dress/heels). I went into the restroom before school and ran into some girl who was chatting away on a cell phone. She immediately hangs up the phone and looks at me wide-eyed.

"Are you a teacher?!?!" she demanded.
"Yes," I replied curtly, "and you're out of dress code - go to the office".

Needless to say, out of the 6 people that I sent to the office that day, none knew who I was and ended up getting serious detention.

[pianochick93]

I find interesting ways to entertain myself when @ school . . . . esp. when everyone has an IQ lower than a rock. . . . .

I had an audition immediately after school a while back, so I had worn my aud. clothes to school (black dress/heels). I went into the restroom before school and ran into some girl who was chatting away on a cell phone. She immediately hangs up the phone and looks at me wide-eyed.

"Are you a teacher?!?!" she demanded.
"Yes," I replied curtly, "and you're out of dress code - go to the office".

Needless to say, out of the 6 people that I sent to the office that day, none knew who I was and ended up getting serious detention.

nice...do you have school uniform, or is it just wear whatever you like?
What was the girl waering that made her out of dress code?

[yuc4h]

I was shopping when I overheard a discussion between 2 women. The other said "I haven't visited here for almost a light year"

Other good one was something a guy that listens to rap and techno said "I don't consider classical music as real music at all"

[pianochick93]

Other good one was something a guy that listens to rap and techno said "I don't consider classical music as real music at all"

Why does something come to mind about a pot and a kettle and the colour black?

[elspeth]

This one will only make sense to people who have a basic grasp of British geography...

My sister's partner is originally from Newcastle and had spent her university life in Glasgow and her next few years in Leeds (that's Leeds in Yorkshire, not Leeds in Kent!). She and my sister then moved to London as both of them got jobs down there.

One day her boss, a born and bred southerner, was moaning about how extortionate things like rent and rates are when you have an office in central London, and maybe they ought to relocate. She suggested moving up north as such things are generally cheaper the further north you go.

Her boss looked at her as if she were stupid and said, 'But it will be barely any better in Bristol'...

[gerry]

The British ARE provincial, aren't they (especially Londoners)

[ihatepop]

Friend 1 blew up a football using his mouth in class. Friend 2 cracked a joke about "Nice blowjob".

[Essyne]

okay, was talking in chat and remembered this . . . . (you'll be pretty astounded, im sure)

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So, the French teacher here knows that I'm a singer and had this "GLORIOUS" idea to take me Christmas Caroling in French (needless to say, it was a disaster - my French is less-than-perfect and I was the only one who could carry a tune, but that's beside the point).

We were wearing berets (and I aplogize if this is terribly cliche, but w/e, this is america for you, no?) and some mexican girls start looking at me funny. Then, one got the guts to come up and talk  to me.

"Where are you from?" she asked me expectantly.

"Uhhh.... the US?" I asked, thinking that this much was obvious (the long blonde hair, the blue eyes, the height, you'd think they could sum it up).

"No. Where are you FROM?"

"Well, I was born in Hawai'i....?"

"Oh, you don't look like that - Where are you FROM?"

"Erm, I have no idea what you are asking. . . . I'm an AMERICAN." This went on for quite some time. Finally, another girl comes up and says, "I don't believe you, you look like you're from OVER THERE."

"Uhm. . . ." I asked, "Where exactly is 'over there?'".

"You know, OVER THERE," she insisted.

". . . . . . eurroooppeee?" I inquired.

She confirmed that this was the "over there" that she was referring to.

I gave her the world map that I carried in my history binder and told her to keep it.

EDIT: I apologize that I didn't capitalize the "Europe." I am in no way implying that your continent shouldn't be capitalized. (Just thought I'd cover my bases here  ).

~Ess~

[Essyne]

nice...do you have school uniform, or is it just wear whatever you like?
What was the girl waering that made her out of dress code?

You pretty much wear whatever, but there ARE rules, they've just been forgotten.

Erm, she was wearing a VERY unflattering low-cut top paired w/ a really short jean skirt with, erm, her "wobbly bits" sticking out everywhere.  .  .  .  . The others were random guys w/ their jeans hanging halfway down their legs, and some white Eminem wanna-be's/ the "loves of their lives who have already born them 3 children". (Eminem peanut  ).

Life is good. 

[pianochick93]

You pretty much wear whatever, but there ARE rules, they've just been forgotten.

Erm, she was wearing a VERY unflattering low-cut top paired w/ a really short jean skirt with, erm, her "wobbly bits" sticking out everywhere.  .  .  .  . The others were random guys w/ their jeans hanging halfway down their legs, and some white Eminem wanna-be's/ the "loves of their lives who have already born them 3 children". (Eminem peanut  ).

Life is good. 

Basically what you see people wearing down the shops then...

I'm so glad we have school uniforms here, casual days are something to look forward to, but no-one is allowed to 'hang out'
We had one Korean guy wear a skirt to school coz his friend dared him. He told the principal and our year level manager that it was Korean Traditional dress, so they had to let him wear it.

[soderlund]

I have another good one. A guy in my class asked me about some classical music. Apparently he like Rachmaninov and said: "Well, he was quite ahead of his time, wasn't he? At least that is what I have heard, because you often play his music in science fiction movies!".

At first I tried to explain to him that he was more a romantic composer actually, but when hearing that, I gave up.

[pianochick93]

Oh yeah! Music wise...

We had a relief teacher for music last year, and we had to watch Amadeus. The whole class would rather be doing prac, but they can't get it into their small heads that we aren't allowed prac with relief teachers, because they don't know enough to control us.
Anyway, the teacher says 'You are learning about Mozart, not playing' and one guy goes and says 'well how about I play some Mozart for the class'

*Person-who-thinks-hes-smart sits down at the piano and starts playing Moonlight Sonata 1st mvt. I say 'that's not Mozart, that's Beethoven!' and a look of realisation dawns on his face...along with the rest of the class telling me to shut up.*

My music class is absolutely horrible to relief teachers. That day we had to get another teacher in to keep the class in line, and a few other times I've had to duck out of the room using some excuse to go and get a teacher to control the class. That time was when we had a little Chinese relief teacher who didn't speak english very well, she had no idea how to control this class.

[Etude]

Many years (well 3) back, someone in my music class was asked to give a definition of "polyphonic".

"Is it a kind of ring tone?"

I'm sure I've repressed quite a lot of even more stupid things I've heard from people at that school.

[pianochick93]

Many years (well 3) back, someone in my music class was asked to give a definition of "polyphonic".

"Is it a kind of ring tone?"

I'm sure I've repressed quite a lot of even more stupid things I've heard from people at that school.

Ha! I can visualise multiple people I know saying that.

[communist]

the most stupid thing i have ever heard of was an Asian jew

[Bob]

I've heard of a Jewish Nazi before.

[rc]

Stoned guy talking about poker: "Yeah man, winning IS a lot better than losing"

One friend talking about another friend: "Well, he's ALWAYS been older than the rest of us"

I probably say a dozen stupid things every day.

[m]

Have you ever seen a flipping calendar called 'Bushisms', with a current president quotes?

365 pages of pure enjoyment of the "wisdom"  .

[Essyne]

*niicccceee*

[pianochick93]

In my PE class today, 2 different  Year 10 girls asked how to spell 'metabolism' and 'jogging'

Also we had acronyms to remember, and when asked what O stood for, another girl cried out 'orgasm'

I have a class full of retards.

[Bob]

Sounds like classes I've taught.  Sometimes it seems like babysitting a herd of sheep.  Haha.

I was in a biology class once where a student gave a presentation on cells and "organisms" except he kept calling it a different, but similar sounding word.  The bio teacher kept correcting him.  I thought it was amusing.  I don't know if anyone else caught the mistake though. 

[tompilk]

Our teacher was telling us that he was teaching a class about reproduction, and the fact that semen contains sugars for the sperm as an energy source, at which point a girl shouted out "it doesn't taste of sugar". Then realisation dawned on her along with a stony silence...

[Petter]

I was buying dinner at a place called "The giraffe" and there are giraffe mascots all over the place. The presence of the giraffe is as obvious as the lack of sense in the old testament of the bible. Anyway. I know the owner a bit so I simulated a sheep sound while moving around this wooden giraffe to fool around a bit and this woman ordering says "That´s not what a zebra sounds like".

[thalbergmad]

I was in the £1 store the other day and some stupid women took 3 tins of biscuits to the counter and asked how much they were.

Thal

[chopininov]

Psssh, i got tons.
For starters:

[healdie]

I know a girl in college and she was asked what a Glokenspiel was so, she walked up to the board and drew a treble clef

[quantum]

Random conversation with a university piano major:


How many Beethoven Sonatas? 

Thirty two

How many Bach P+F's?

Forty eight

How many Hayden Symphonies?

One hundred Four

How many keys on the piano?

I don't know.

[Etude]

97 is the only answer.

[quantum]

97 is the only answer.

True

[silverangel]

hehe. . . stories? I bet yours can top mine by a long shot.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I kid you not - yesterday 3 cheerleaders came into my APUSH class and begged the teacher to lie to their coach by telling her that they were taking a test.

"But Mr. SoandSooooo!" they whined. "We have to run, like, twoooo miles, and if our coach sees that we're like, laaatttee, then she'll make us, like, run the first foouuuurrrr"

I laughed.

Hard.

God, don't say.  yesterday (I still go to a single-sex girls school), I was walking past in the corridor when I heard some yr 7s;

Person 1; Pythagoras?  Pythagoras?  I learnt about him in Yr 6!  Now I have to do it...again!
Person 2; I didn't - I don't know about him, but I know he made a really famous statement.
Person 1; Really?  Oh, now that you mention it, I remember.  Geez, since we're learning about him in English, I can say that this is going to be a pretty boring year.

[healdie]

I've heard of a Jewish Nazi before.

Well there was a young boy in Warsaw who was saved by a SS officer who didin't have the heart to kill the child, this child was then dressed up in Uniforms and shown on posters and became very famous throughout Germany and was nicknamed the youngest SS officer, he became quite an important factor in Nazi propagander, well this child recently died (no longer a child whilst living in Austrailia) and has just confessed that he was a Jew.

[slobone]

Psssh, i got tons.
For starters:

That's pretty scary... but of course they didn't include clips of people who got the right answer, so it doesn't really prove anything.

[Bob]

If that's one of those clips where people can't answer simple questions, I really wonder about those.  Like yes, how many people did they sift through to get those?  Or is just an act?  Or are those people just under performance pressure and wig out a little?  Some people really can't think under pressure if you stick a camera in front of them and have a famous person interview them... maybe they just can't function mentally.  I just have a suspicion about those types of videos.

[pmz310]

the most stupidest thing i have hearcd is maul's theory that Christianity is a [;auge of the mind

[chopininov]

If that's one of those clips where people can't answer simple questions, I really wonder about those.  Like yes, how many people did they sift through to get those?  Or is just an act?  Or are those people just under performance pressure and wig out a little?  Some people really can't think under pressure if you stick a camera in front of them and have a famous person interview them... maybe they just can't function mentally.  I just have a suspicion about those types of videos.

She said towel head!! Don't give her the benefit of the doubt!

[Bob]

Ah... Ouch.  Yeah, that's different.  I didn't listen to it.

[slobone]

She said towel head!! Don't give her the benefit of the doubt!

"Diaper head", actually...

[chopininov]

Haha thanks. Haven't seen that video in a while.