Man/Woman Age Ratios. . . What's "Ideal" - Does it Matter?

[Essyne]

Probably has come up before. . . eh, what the heck.

I was driving home the other day and there was a radio broadcast about older men/younger women and vice-versa. Do you think that there's something inherently "bad" about an older man being in a relationship w/ a younger woman? What about the older woman/younger man? What attracts younger women to older men, etc?

Thought it was interesting.

~Ess~

[G.W.K]

The human brain is perverted, always has been. Teenagers will be attracted to anything with a pulse and most teenage boys will go through a phase of fancying older women. It could be their looks, the fact they have more experience, etc.

Some people do it so the older one will die and they'll inherit their possessions, money, etc.

I don't know...any psychologists here?

G.W.K

[G.W.K]

Another thought...why not add a poll and see how many people would prefer an older/younger person?

Do you mean older/younger by a few months? Years? Or a decade, etc?

G.W.K

[Essyne]

added  .

I was thinking years - perhaps a decade even.

[G.W.K]

I was thinking years - perhaps a decade even.

Well my father is four years younger than my mother...but it isn't down to the fact that my dad is younger. It depends on more than age really. They love each other.

The same goes with my grandparents.

G.W.K

[Essyne]

Idk - I just don't appreciate the fact that people will see a young woman who's attracted to an older man and freak out about it. I mean, if she's incredibly mature, then it could work out, right? One of my friends argued that she would be immature relationship-wise, but what if he is as well?

I understand, to a point, what g.w.k. was saying about the "perverted" human mind, however, I don't fully agree. Yes, we live in a sexually disfunctional society, and yes, many people mistake companionship or ANY type of attraction for something sexual (hence the incredible "bisexuality" craze that is sweeping the high school population). But what if it truly IS something more? What if you are completely in tune with yourself and your emotions? What if you can distinguish between your actual, deeper feelings and passing whims?

Just thoughts. I don't really think that age should be a hinderance on relationships. I mean, your love would transcend all earthly measure, right? . . . right  ?

[pies]

a

[dnephi]

I chose the homo woman who likes old women .

Tbh, traditionally, men are a couple of years older.  Your starting assumptions are therefore erroneous.

[pianochick93]

I picked 'traditionalist' but not exactly within my age range. Like pies -/+ 2 on either side is fine by me.

I've had 2 boyfriends, one of them was a year older than me (and a hell of a lot more experienced...the whole relationship thing didn't last long, because he completely forgot that I wasn't experienced.), and the other is about 4 months older then me. It's my turn to be experienced now, because I'm his first girlfriend.

[thalbergmad]

I picked 'traditionalist' but not exactly within my age range. Like pies -/+ 2 on either side is fine by me.

When you are 15, you are hardly likely to exceed +/- 2are you?

For me, a greater difference is more practical.

Thal

[Essyne]

Why Thal? I'm 17 and tend to be attracted to far older men, but have never had anyone describe it as "more practical." "Weird" and "bizarre," but not "practical." (But then again, since when has my life ever not been "weird" or "bizarre"  ).

EDIT: But, to expand - I'm not looking for someone to "shack up" with either - I always focus on the intellectual side of the relationship - so sexual experience is really not a factor (w/ me at least).

[thalbergmad]

Why Thal? I'm 17 and tend to be attracted to far older men, but have never had anyone describe it as "more practical." "Weird" and "bizarre," but not "practical." (But then again, since when has my life ever not been "weird" or "bizarre"  ).

Well the - would be pretty daft.

Would you go out with a 7 year old??

Thal

[thalberg]

Why Thal? I'm 17 and tend to be attracted to far older men, but have never had anyone describe it as "more practical." "Weird" and "bizarre," but not "practical." (But then again, since when has my life ever not been "weird" or "bizarre"  ).

EDIT: But, to expand - I'm not looking for someone to "shack up" with either - I always focus on the intellectual side of the relationship - so sexual experience is really not a factor (w/ me at least).

This does not surprise me about you.  I have been quite surprised by how bright and insightful you are for someone your age.   I would describe it not as bizarre but as precocious in your instance.  I can easily see how men in your age group would hold little appeal for you.

I was similar to you when I was your age.  I spent more time with my teachers than with fellow students--it's a hard road because it's easy to look around and feel like a misfit.  The key for you is to hold on to the truth that your intelligence is a good thing, and that while finding a match may take time, it will be worth it to hold out for just the right person.

I'd also say don't be afraid to marry a far older man.  Those marriages often work out very well because the couples don't compete with each other for control.  The woman tends to trust her husband more than she would trust someone her own age, and the husband tends to be extremely chivalrous with the wife, always putting her first and being extremely considerate of her as a person.  Or at least that's how it's worked in the marriages I've seen.

[Essyne]

Thanks, thalberg - good to know that there are other thinking people in the world  .

I can easily see how men in your age group would hold little appeal for you.

lol - That's because they're not men - they're BOYS. Really, if I'm going to invest all of the time and effort to develop an intimate relationship w/ someone, it's not going to be so that he can take me to McDonalds on his big wheel to buy me a happy meal.

I'd also say don't be afraid to marry a far older man. Those marriages often work out very well because the couples don't compete with each other for control.

I've actually never thought about it from the "control" aspect - quite frankly, if I EVER fall in love w/ a man who "compete with [me] for control" it's adios, buddy.

while finding a match may take time, it will be worth it to hold out for just the right person.

Yeah - time's not a factor for me. I want to sing opera professionally, and really don't have time for an intimate relationship other than the one that I'm already developing with Music. I don't think it's really fair to ask a man to wait for me if I'm not even in the country half the time. I wouldn't expect him to remain faithful, because, quite frankly, we're all human.

[mattgreenecomposer]

Well I must say the results to your poll are going to be skewed because most people on this forum are young or in highschool.  But any man I've ever met who is over the age of say 30 is going to prefer younger woman.  I mean the risk of having kids after 35 or 40 is high anyways.
I think anything over 18 is fine as long as they're mature for their age.  After about 17 or 18 we all think about the same.  I mean, Im not that much different than I was at that age except wiser on certain issues.

[mattgreenecomposer]

"...it's not going to be so that he can take me to McDonalds on his big wheel to buy me a happy meal."

That was funny