I got burgled in the small hours of this morning. Some helpful soul kicked my front door down and made off into the night with my laptop. Fortunately it was on its last legs and isn't much of a loss - in fact its loss is almost an advantage as my insurers will pay for a new replacement. The front door is a slightly different story and will need replacing.
Anyway, I'm usually good at crises. I have to be for work apart from anything else. I'm the sort who takes stock quickly and starts organising until the immediate episode is past, and then shores everyone else up afterwards, but this is different. I've spent the day organising - police (who have been wonderful, a credit to their organisation) and insurance companies and workmen and managed to get to work for half the day as well. All sorted, no problems.
But now... I'm tired and I want to go to bed (only had two hours' sleep last night) but I'm starting at shadows and scared to go to sleep. I live alone and it's sticking in my head that last night I had a lucky escape from something that could easily have been far nastier than it was, and I'm feeling lonely. It's not like me. I'm not given to feeling like this. I can't bear the thought of someone strange having been in my home without my permission and control. In my head I know I'm safe, the flat is secure and as someone broke in last night the odds of its being repeated tonight are absolutely minimal. But it's not making me feel better. I hate that something so petty is making me feel like this - I know that I'm tired and overreacting and I'm in no more danger tonight that I am any other night I lock my doors and go to bed.
This is the probably the wrong place to be venting this, but sometimes internet-based anonymity is a wonderful thing. Sometimes it's easier to be honest when other people's reactions are distant. And I know I've got to get through tonight and do it myself because if I don't, the burglar wins. But I'm frightened and hating it.
Topic: Reactions in a crisis