goldberg variations no.21

[ryanyee]

i've recently recorded the 21st variation from the goldberg variations. i'd like to get everybody's comments on them. although it doesn't sound very colorful to me. thanks all. this is the link.

[kard]

I haven't heard this variation before. I'm stuck with the typical 1-10 
So, thanks for that.
It doesn't feel like it's "together." Maybe my word choice is wrong. I suspect that the cause is unstable rhythm.

[mike_lang]

It is good reading...I would just point out a couple of things that could improve it, which are related to each other.  Personally, I feel it is bit too slow; I think it could benefit from a bit more flow.  While tempo is subjective, what is not is that you have placed an accent on every eighth note, which, independently of tempo choice, causes the variation to feel a little stuck.

Of course, it is difficult to get the phrasing on first reading.  However, if you continue to work on this, I would search for arrival points to move toward - this should also strengthen the "unstable rhythm" which kard points out.  I think what is most noticeable in terms of movement is that sometimes the ritenuti break the phrase or extend a bit too long.  The bass will tell you a lot of what you need to know about the phrase and its shaping.

Best,
ML