How do you know when you need to talk with a student ?

[m19834]

Okay, I mean within a particular situation, but what I am trying to ask wouldn't fit within the number of characters alotted for the title.  What I mean is, how do you know the difference between those students who may carry around, for the rest of their lives, a mistake they made in one of their first recitals (even as a child) vs. those whom maybe don't care ?  And, if you have a student who might let their first recital mistake affect them for the rest of their lives, what do you do about it ?  What do you say or not say to them ?

[general disarray]

Okay, I mean within a particular situation, but what I am trying to ask wouldn't fit within the number of characters alotted for the title.  What I mean is, how do you know the difference between those students who may carry around, for the rest of their lives, a mistake they made in one of their first recitals (even as a child) vs. those whom maybe don't care ?  And, if you have a student who might let their first recital mistake affect them for the rest of their lives, what do you do about it ?  What do you say or not say to them ?

Please reflect on the syntax of your above sentences.  I believe you are sincere in your quest for an answer, but your question is cryptic.

You pose the issue of "students who may carry around, for the rest of their lives, a mistake they made in one of their first recitals (even as a child) vs. those whom maybe don't care?" 

Care about WHAT?  Their mistakes?  Their recital experience?

Are those who inordinately care afflicted with an excessive sense of guilt at failure or the  inability to be perfect?  Is perfection even possible?  (Of course not!)

Are those "who don't care" actually healthier?  Are they LESS burdened with the guilt heaped on them by neurotic, failed parents who insist on vicariously living through the lives of their children?

Would you please clarify your cryptic question?

[go12_3]

In my experience as a teacher, I think you talk to a student when you feel it's the right time.  If a student makes a "mistake" in a recital, then that isn't a good idea.  Mistakes are okay, especially when a student is young. If the student is upset about the mistake then you need to talk to her/him.   Make it a special time for your students with no pressure.  I think recitals shouldn't be a scary experience for students, but  enjoyable when they are ready to perform.  It depends upon the ages and experience in playing the piano.  What is important is to reassure your student that a mistake isn't the end of the world and not make it a big deal so that he/she can continue learning and progress.  Make piano playing comfortable and a journey that your students will remember for the rest of their lives.   Best wishes,  Go12_3   = )

[dan101]

I think that judging the sensitivity of a student in a stressful recital situation is crucial. If I find that a student is nervous playing in the presence of others, I spend a lot of time discussing mindset for future performances that that student might give.

Nervous performers need reassurance and knowledge; that knowledge being insight as to what to focus on during a performance. 

[m19834]

I think that judging the sensitivity of a student in a stressful recital situation is crucial.

Thanks for your post, it is helpful.  I guess what I am wondering is HOW do you judge that sensitivity ?  And, how do you know how/when to respond to it ?  Some students don't broadcast what they feel, and so as a teacher, you have to look inside of them and try to figure it out, and then deal with it from there.  But, how do you know the difference between the individuals that just keep everything inside and therefore MAY not appear to be too sensitive, vs. those whom don't appear to be upset about a mistake in a performance because they actually aren't ?

[Bob]

See how willing they are to perform again.  If they really don't want to, it might be a problem.  But make sure they get good performing experiences to start if you can. Otherwise maybe something with a small group or even another person.  Or a recording.

[timothy42b]

I think what you're asking is actually quite profound.

But I suggest that answer may be beyond your competence.  Like it or not, you can be a highly professional piano teacher, and an inspiring personal role model, and have an impact on your students lives far beyond teaching Minuet in G, but you are unlikely to also be a skilled psychoanalyst. 

If your instincts tell you somebody needs that talk, and you're pretty sure it's not driven by your own insecurity, but by genuine concern, you're unlikely to do any harm.  Go ahead.  But don't expect you're always going to be able to tell when it's needed.