How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

[general disarray]

How do you Solve a Problem Like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertijibbett, a will-o-the-wisp, a clown?

(Discuss.  But you may want to substitute the name "pianistimo" for "Maria.")

[db05]

How do you solve a problem like db05?

Tell him to F*ck off.

[cmg]

How do you solve a problem like db05?

Tell him to F*ck off.

I don't think anyone should use that kind of language against db05.  Just keep in mind that the person who did has morphed from m1469 to K and is undoubtedly on her way to becoming Medea.  In short, a cranky no-fun zone who owes you an apology.

[m19834]

who owes you an apology.

Actually, no, I don't owe "her" anything.  At least I don't feel that I do.  And, the only reason I bothered to say anything in public is because I felt it needed to be in public.  I have definitely learned in life that some people need to hear exactly what I said.  The words are insignificant, really, though I realize the actual word is considered to be something that one shouldn't write here.  If it needs to be erased, fine.  But, the message is what really mattered and that has been given.  I honestly would like db05 to completely leave me alone, so if the forum moderators feel they need to moderate my comment, feel free, but I would also like db to have a formal warning to leave me alone then, too.

[cmg]

I honestly would like db05 to completely leave me alone, so if the forum moderators feel they need to moderate my comment, feel free, but I would also like db to have a formal warning to leave me alone then, too.

I don't understand what it is that she does to irritate you so.  Honestly.  You write as if she is stalking you in some inappropriate way.  I've not noticed that.  Only her expression of admiration for you.  Why is that so odious to you?

Perhaps I'm missing something here . . . ?

Edit:  And why the "her" in quotes?  Do you think she's a guy masquerading as a girl here?

[m19834]

Well, it doesn't really matter if you undestand it or not.  But, to me, db05 has no interest actually in what I say nor actually whether or not I try to help her when she asks me questions (or questions on the forum in general).  That's fine, but I have spent a good deal of time and energy carefully wording my responses to her in order to be sensitive to whatever her situation is.  I understand this is the internet and all, but at the same time, after a time, it gets pretty old anyway if it is obvious that my efforts are not of value to either of us.  Fine, so I stop.  We have some little run in where I ask her to stop calling me "ma'am" and she doesn't, and from my perspective, is deliberately striving to push my buttons ... fine, it only pushes my buttons if I let it, but that one thing tells me a lot about her character or how my own experience on the forum matters to her.  I informed her in private that I will stop giving responses to her posts as I felt they were not helpful, and she proceeds to try to bring a shroud of mystery to mine and her interaction in public then, as though she has been so terribly wronged and can't imagine what has transpired to bring on this horrible misfortune in her life.  Well, I had explained it.

It might be one thing if I were still posting under the name "M." but I am not.  I have students here as well, and they can potentially read what others write about me here, too.  So, yes, to have some character acting in public as though I have wronged them and they have no idea what to do about that is a bit abnoxious, on top of the fact that I had actually put quite a bit of my energy into trying to help her.  That should be understandable. 

I have communicated in private with her, and that is fine, but I don't have a desire to develop a friendship with her nor any other kind of "relationship" with her, and I do feel that whatever I am or have been is not enough for her.  Well, that's fine, those are her feelings.  It is bothersome to have her following me talking to me about "M." and such, and to act as though she knows me enough as a person to tell me who I am.  Firstly, UNLESS she is somebody whom actually knows me and is masquerading as somebody whom does not, then she doesn't actually know me.  And, if she IS somebody whom knows me but is acting like she acts towards me (over the course of months), then that person is welcome to have the same words I gave to db05 for acting as she has to me, especially if it is somebody whom knows me in real life.

I asked her to leave me alone, and really no matter what the reason, that should ultimately be enough.  But, it wasn't.  Probably sometime down the road I may feel differently, but for now I would like her to leave me alone.  Simple.

[db05]

I don't think anyone should use that kind of language against db05.  Just keep in mind that the person who did has morphed from m1469 to K and is undoubtedly on her way to becoming Medea.  In short, a cranky no-fun zone who owes you an apology.

No she doesn't. She did me a favor in those words, for that I am truly grateful.

[cmg]

Well, it doesn't really matter if you undestand it or not. 

Well, that's true, of course, but your frustration with her (and the resultant angry language) didn't jive with the generous and intelligent person you generally exhibit here in your posts.

I appreciate your answer and understand, finally, what your dilemma is with her.  Thanks for bearing with my questions.

[cmg]

No she doesn't. She did me a favor in those words, for that I am truly grateful.

Well, it's good that you understand her issues with you.  It will only help you ultimately.

[db05]

Well, it's good that you understand her issues with you.  It will only help you ultimately.

Her issues? Not really. But I'm not talking to her ever again, and that's all that matters. I don't feel the need to communicate with her anymore, directly or not.

I don't think you understand my side. See, 99% of my energy is spent on deciphering people's messages underneath all the rhetoric and responding accordingly. It may be that I never did understand anyone here. I misunderstand as much as I am misunderstood. Being told to f*ck off, that was the first time that K said something so direct to the point that it hit home... and even that took a while to digest.

You may think this is all just foul language, but sometimes it is in order. Going back to the general's post, what if we use this principle in pianistimo's case? Short, simple, honest answers. Hopefully that would do the trick.

[m19834]

Well, that's true, of course, but your frustration with her (and the resultant angry language) didn't jive with the generous and intelligent person you generally exhibit here in your posts.

I appreciate your answer and understand, finally, what your dilemma is with her.  Thanks for bearing with my questions.

Actually, I wasn't even angry at her exactly, and I am not now.  I just realized that being "nice" wasn't working, and even being direct with her wasn't working, and I have often been very direct with her, actually (and the fact that she believes I haven't been is kind of a case in point).  I felt I had to be actually rude in order for her to understand my message.  Yes, I do feel it was a bit out of character for me, at least out of character with regard to how I am most of the time.  I would actually prefer to be able to say this stuff directly with her and in private, however, I have tried that and it doesn't work so I have to move along with another option. 

Probably I have said my bit about this subject for now.

[db05]

*cough* Please Karli, I've moved on, so can you please just stop talking about me? I've said my part already, it was a suggestion, not an attack.