Chat up lines.

[communist]

This thread............sigh.

I don't know how to break this gently.

This thread is at the same time an exercise in futility and a demonstration of why.

First of all, you're asking piano geeks how to pick up women?  Why don't we ask pigs how to beat grandmasters at chess?  Actually we'd have better luck with the pigs, because theoretically grandmasters CAN be beaten, whereas the chance of a piano geek picking up a woman are ......  well they don't exist.  (I'm not trying to be insulting.  It's just that we have to realize our limitations.  To the extent that we are identifiable as piano geeks we CANNOT succeed at the casual pickup.  But this is a two part problem:  those of us with the least expertise of any known group are pontificating on the solution to an insolvable problem.) 

But secondly,  it isn't at first obvious why we are discussing pickup lines.  We are discussing them, even though we know nothing about them, because we need them, because as a group we get so little action. 

Strange as it may seem, there may be an answer. 

Well, there are theoretically two answers.  But one is unlikely to work.  So here's the one that might. 

Think about it, what two groups of people have more sex than they know what to do with?  (I'm talking about ordinary people now, not celebrities and superstars.)

That's right, football players and bass guitar players.

Now, athletics are out.  None of us have the genetic capability or we wouldn't be hanging out here. 

But playing bass in a rock band takes about 5 minutes practice, and a few dollars in a pawn shop.  Football players get about the same number of groupies, but they spend all that time lifting weights and smashing into each other.  Bass players just show up, turn the amp all the way up, and play.  And at the end of the night go home with whoever they want, not having had to pay for their intended's drinks. 

I will note in passing that some rock bands include a keyboard player, and they do indeed get plenty of leftovers after the bass guitar, lead guitar, and drummer have had their pick.

 

That is generalizing the forum as a group by proclaiming all of us as "piano geeks". I am pretty sure multiple people here play the guitar and/or bass, maybe not in a rock group but the only thing different about playing a guitar or bass in a rock band would be hooking it up to an amplifier. You would not know if some people here are athletes as well as musicians. Whatever "geek" might mean to you, I would doubt it applies to everyone here who is a pianist.

[pianochick93]

Oh, yes you can! For example, he wrote
"Your taking this thread way to seriously".
Did I correct it to
"You're taking this thread way too seriously"?(!)

Best,

Alistair

Oh but I bet you were tempted? 

_{I was} 

[ahinton]

No, but you just have

Read the last few posts in this thread and you will (hopefully) see otherwise (assuming that you meant that I had been taking said thread too seriously)...

Best,

Alistair

[timothy42b]

I am pretty sure multiple people here play the guitar and/or bass, maybe not in a rock group but the only thing different about playing a guitar or bass in a rock band would be hooking it up to an amplifier.

I rest my case.

No, wait, I can't;  I'm dealing with piano geeks on an internet forum, so I'll have to spell out the obvious.

The only thing different about playing in a rock band is NOT hooking up to an amp.  The much larger difference is that you will also be hooking up with a groupie for some gratuitous casual sex.  At any level of frequency you wish.  

You are technically correct that it isn't fair to stereotype everyone here as a piano geek.  

But anyone who didn't recognize the rock band point on his own has self-identified as a piano geek.  Sorry, communist, you would seem to be in that category.  

[go12_3]

I rest my case.

No, wait, I can't;  I'm dealing with piano geeks on an internet forum, so I'll have to spell out the obvious.

The only thing different about playing in a rock band is NOT hooking up to an amp.  The much larger difference is that you will also be hooking up with a groupie for some gratuitous casual sex.  At any level of frequency you wish.  

You are technically correct that it isn't fair to stereotype everyone here as a piano geek.  

But anyone who didn't recognize the rock band point on his own has self-identified as a piano geek.  Sorry, communist, you would seem to be in that category.  

Since when do people start categorizing each other here? 

[pianochick93]

Yes, I agree. You're making a generalisation about a group of people you have probably never met.

I am a geek. I am a nerd. I play piano. It hasn't stopped me from being able to find guys. My current BF and ex-BF were both the same.

[thalbergmad]

My current BF and ex-BF were both the same.

You went out with identical twins???

[pianochick93]

You went out with identical twins???

Haha, no. 

[zheer]

Ok guyz, these lines come with 6 month gatantee,  
 

If you were my homework I'd be doing you rite now all over my desk!

Is their an airport around here? because my heart is taking off.

You'll do!

There's a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

Girl, how long have you been in the oven, cause I know I felt something rising.

Here's 10p ring home and tell your mum that you wont be coming home tonight!

Your dad must have been a hunter coz you're a fox

Hey, is your dad a terrorist? Cos baby, you're the bomb!

You are so hot, its girls like you that are the real reason for global warming

Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there

Can you fix watches? Then put 2 hands on that!

I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke

Did you fart coz you blow me away (not adviced, at your own risk)

[communist]

I rest my case.

No, wait, I can't;  I'm dealing with piano geeks on an internet forum, so I'll have to spell out the obvious.

The only thing different about playing in a rock band is NOT hooking up to an amp.  The much larger difference is that you will also be hooking up with a groupie for some gratuitous casual sex.  At any level of frequency you wish.  

You are technically correct that it isn't fair to stereotype everyone here as a piano geek.  

But anyone who didn't recognize the rock band point on his own has self-identified as a piano geek.  Sorry, communist, you would seem to be in that category.  

I did recognize the rock band part. It was the "Now, athletics are out.  None of us have the genetic capability or we wouldn't be hanging out here." that is not a fair generalization.

[richard black]

Here's 10p ring home and tell your mum that you wont be coming home tonight!

Zheer, I didn't think you were old enough to remember phones that take 10p....

But anyway, ha ha, enjoyed those, and here's another in the same subtle vein:

'Get your coat, you've scored.'

[zheer]

Zheer, I didn't think you were old enough to remember phones that take 10p....

Are you serious, I remember the time where it cost me 30p to get to school, a morning travel card now in London will cost you £10.

[thalbergmad]

Are you serious, I remember the time where it cost me 30p

Richard remembers the days when you had to give a carrot to the donkey.

Thal