Ok guys I thought I'd share some chat up lines with you lot and maybe learn a few from you guys, here are a few that will guaranty you a black eye.
The only thing I want between our relationship is latex!
Intelligent answer: I don't care what you might think you want (assuming that you can think, which is iopen to doubt), but you can't have anything "between" a "relationship" since "relationship" is a singular noun.
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
Intelligent answer: OK, no - but neither anything about you nor the obvious act of turning you down gives me any satisfaction.
Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?
Intelligent answer: no, I don't, so you are wrong, but I still won't screw you, so screw you.
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Intelligent answer (which is not "no", as you imply): yes, I do and I also know that I don't want to have either with you, upstairs or anywhere else.
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
Intelligent answer: fine, so you have
my consent to having sex with someone else, assuming you to be capable of having sex and that anyone else would be crazy enough consent to your doing so.
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Intelligent answer: do you get off on quoting song titles to strangers?
Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?
Intelligent answer: no and no, in that order.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
Intelligent answer: whether or not I may be free tonight, something will cost you, that's for sure.
I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
Intelligent answer: I have no reason to assume that anything about your room is specifically mathematical and, for your information, adding, subtracting, dividing and multiplying are all aspects of arithmetic, which is merely a branch of mathematics; anyway, I don't want to go to your room.
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your apartment.
Intelligent answer: if you need directions anywhere in town and are unable to go anywhere without them, I suggest that you return to your village.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot
Intelligent answer: it's none of your goddam' business where my G-sopt may be, you have no reason to assume that I have only one of them in any case and, if you need that much time to find it/them, the government has once again wasted taxpayers' money.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Intelligent answer: your own appearance gives little confidence that you'd know good looks from bad but, since you don't turn me on either, go electrocute yourself.
I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Intelligent answer: you aren't - and you're only "talking" to me because that's all you can do - and you're not much good at that, either.
I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you are?
Intelligent answer: yes, you are indeed curious, but have you really talked to all the guys in the world, or even all those who know me? - and would you in any case know "good" from "not good" - and do I care?
I'm sure that you've never used any of these, even if only because you're still alive and can post as you have done here!
Best,
Alistair