DIFFICULT STUDENT

[rgh55]

I have been teaching a student going into the 4th grade for 3 years who is now in playing in Bastien Level 2 (just started). This student is constantly pouting, rude, defiant and appears to have a serious mood disorder although her parents have never talked about it with me. She is constantly playing wrong notes and makes the same mistakes over and over. I will ask her to stop and she keeps on playing. She does know the right notes.  She will get angry and start playing real fast (all the wrong notes and timing) or real loud almost banging on the keys. She will also stop playing and put her head down in her lap and will not speak. When she does this we take a break and I will ask her to play a piece that she knows well so she feels good about herself.  I also teach at her home so her parents hear all of this but do nothing. I hate to drop her as a student since I have acquired new students recommended my her parents but she is on my last nerve. Any suggestions?

[kitty on the keys]

NO TEACHER SHOULD ENDURE THIS BEHAVIOR! To keep control in the studio lesson, parents must be informed of all behaviors. Its sounds like you MUST have a parent stay during the lesson. The parent will be allowed to leave only after good behavior is shown. Teacher frustrations can 'tricle' into other lessons, which is not fair to those 'good' students. You must discuss this behavior with the parents---and set a time frame---if this is not corrected by  August 15, she will be dismissed. You have a business to run---and we must make choices.

Kitty on the Keys

[communist]

Scream and if they continue you may have to result to violence.


But seriously talk to the parents about it.

[lelle]

Try asking to talk to her about it. Make it a nice and comfortable situation and ensure she doesn't feel uncomfortable at any moment. Maybe she has problems at school? Or at home? After she's told you she will 1) feel much better if she's never told anyone before, 2) feel gratitude towards you and hopefully be nicer afterwards

[mcdiddy1]

When students lash out like that they are usually doing it because they want attention. You have to be careful not to reward her behavior by changing your lesson plan to something she wants ....like playing the piece that she wants to play. If she does something good...encourage her and give her some thing that she wants to do. Make a deal with her and reason with her and let her know " i know you don't want to learn right now...but your already here so why don't we learn something new today. Then give her simple tasks that she can accomplish easily at home like playing one hand at a time...naming notes, counting rhythms... skills she would need to learn anyways.
   
          Most kids don't want to play the wrong notes or to be bad but they don't understand how to dicipline themselves or have structure. Kid desire structure ....so give it to them from day one. The push you to see if you will push back and how much they can get away with it. If they refuse to do anything..even the most simple task.....don't get mad at the kid.....separate the child from the behavior and say " it seems like your not feeling well..would you like to go home now and get some rest?" Usually the kid will say no because often they will have to explain to mom or dad why they wasted time coming to the lessons and did not feel bad. Having a parent sit in on a lesson is a great idea but if they don't know how to dicipline  there child explain to them ...if you have a conscious that they are wasting their money because of the child's behavior...or you can continue taking there money and say thier loss... its up to you.

[kitty on the keys]

EXCELLENT ADVICE MCDIDDY1!!!!!

Kitty on the keys

[go12_3]

Kids will be kids.   The teacher has to mold the behavior during the lesson to an advantage in order
to have a productive lesson.  I usually guide my students with kindness and yet firmness so that they KNOW that I am the boss, in a nice way though, so that they want to learn and progress in playing piano.  If my students do not have any sense of humor nor relax, I have to figure out why they are uptight.  Kids will act up and do what it takes to get attention, but, I address the problem to the student mostly, because parents usually have no idea.  I called a parent about a problem, and really, it doesn't work for me.  I don't have the time nor the energy to call parents when their child acts up or is difficult to teach.  I know enough about children that they want things simple, fun and easy to learn.  Things don't have to be so serious all the time, or I would be bored as a teacher.  I don't propose that as teachers we have to entertain our students, but be open to what each student needs to learn and do during the lesson. 

best wishes,

go12_3

[chopinmozart7]

I had a student who were exactly like yours, It ended up in a mess. In the end he was not even interested in playing the piano.

[turayza]

It's really your decision if you want to teach a student or not. It sounds like you aren't enjoying it--talk to her parents, and if your student won't behave, you don't have to keep teaching her.