Funny things that happen during performances

[xvimbi]

Rather than talking about "worst" things that ever happened, I'd like to start a thread about "funny" things. "Things" that happen are almost always bad for the performer, a listener, or somebody else, but they might be extremely funny for the rest. I'll start with something that my first piano teacher told me (might be an urban legend, but it's funny nevertheless):

A little boy who only had a digital piano with 76 keys to practice on was playing his piece at a competition on a "real" acoustic grand. He played well, but he failed to realize that he played an octave to low. After his performance, he went up to the jurors and said: "This is a great piano, but to be honest, you know, I think it needs tuning!"

[Antnee]

I'm sure It's happened before, but not at any performance I've ever been too, and that would be the performer letting a big one during the diffictul passages or maybe trying ot put a bit too much emotion into the lyrical parts. Do you know how much that would suck? ? ? The microphone would pick up every bit of it... I guess the best you could hope is that it's in key of the music...                                                                                                                                                                        -Tony-

[Tash]

hmm i don't think anything that funny has happened personally to me playing, but my friend who's a singer was singing in our concert last year and her accompanist accidently played a wrong chord and she started laughing except nobody else noticed so we were all like why is she laughing? but it was funny.

oh playing on the wrong octave, we once had this ensemble who played the much older versions of various intruments, one being a harpsichord so us pianists were allowed to have a little play on it. so i was playing something by mozart (can't remember what it was this was numerous years ago and i didn't like the piece anyway) and i started playing it an octave lower and didn't realise til the guy who owned the harpsichord asked me if i was doing so, and i'm like 'well that's middle c isn't it?' and he's like 'yes' and i sat and though for a minute and then realised that i was wrong! that was funny. and then my friend nearly did the same thing!

[Allan]

Okay, here it goes.  My friend, a singer, asked me to accompany him and another singer on the piano in a rendition of "All I Ask of You" from the Phantom of the Opera for a couple's 50th wedding anniversary ceremony.  This piece was specially requested by the couple.

I played classical pieces as people walked in.  Soon, the big moment came, but the female vocalists did not appear and could not be found.  Then the pastor (who was conducting a renewal of vows with the couple) said to the crowd, "And now a special piece requested by the couple."  My friend whispered to me "I am going to sing the female part!"  Well, he did not do this and the piece was very awkward with just him singing and no female singer (the song is in dialog format).

When the service finished,  I slipped on out and boy did my singer friend (who was responsible for coordinating the music) get a tounge lashing from the couple's family who paid for the event.  I took my money and ran!  I must say, however, that when my friend and I talk about that event, it makes for terrific laughter!

[allchopin]

A few years back at my freshman high school talent show, I played Fantasie-Impromptu Op. 66.  The show was variety, so it included everything from piano to dance to magic shows.  As the the curtain opened, I placed my fingers on the opening octave, and played it - suddenly, the next performer's dance music started playing over the PA (quite loud I might add) then shut off...  what could I do?  
I took a bow and started over.    

[donjuan]

A long time ago, at a student recital, a boy (about 10 -11) came up to play the piano.  He was wearing these really REALLY tight pants.  half way through the piece, he began to get an erection.  The audience was all full of stifled giggles.  The kid wasnt at all embarassed, he finished and stood up, Took a long bow with a big smile on his face.
donjuan

[Clare]

Bwa-hahaaaa!
If I was that kid, I wouldn't be smiling. I'd be mortified.

Anyway, this is my slightly funny story.
I made my debut as a page turner in a class at university a couple of months ago. I had to turn pages for a girl who was playing a harpsichord accompaniment to a recorder player. The recorder player was playing this other version of the music to what was written on the harpsichord player's music and they were doing all squiggly improvised bits and tempo fluctuations which were appropriate to the early Baroque music they were playing.
This, however, meant that I had no idea where they were in the music and I made the worst page turn ever in this random spot which caused the harpsichord player to mess up and hiss, "NOT YET!" So what I did was wiggle the page around a lot until I thought it was time to stop wiggling it and then sat back down on my seat with a giant thud.

I got a 'special' clap of my own at the end of the performance.

[faulty_damper]

If I was that kid, I wouldn't be smiling. I'd be mortified.

No kidding!  Last time I checked, women don't have penis'.

DonJuan, what was the piece he was playing, do you remember?

[Antnee]

Woah...

Just remember guys... When performing, If your minds do wander, just watch out for where they go...

Poor kid, he must have known...

At least he didn't turn around real fast and knock the microphone over!!!  

-Tony-

[donjuan]

Like I said, it was a long time ago.  i cant remember the piece he was playing.  But, the teacher who I had (who the kid also had) specialized in teaching Jazz.  
donjuan

[xvimbi]

A long time ago, at a student recital, a boy (about 10 -11) came up to play the piano.  He was wearing these really REALLY tight pants.  half way through the piece, he began to get an erection.  The audience was all full of stifled giggles.  The kid wasnt at all embarassed, he finished and stood up, Took a long bow with a big smile on his face.

Well, Scriabin used to get not just a stiffy, but complete orgasms during performances. Not the worst thing that can happen, I guess. Unfortunately, no matter how "hard" I work on his pieces, I don't seem to be able to recreate his emotions. I wonder what the score markings are for "Orgasm here".

[donjuan]

Well, Scriabin used to get not just a stiffy, but complete orgasms during performances.

Are you kidding? what a mess!!  Think of the children in the audience!  And how would he play afterwards?
donjuan

[Antnee]

No way!! Now that's what I call putting climaxes into his pieces...  

-Tony-

[Shagdac]

DonJuan wrote:

Like I said, it was a long time ago.  i cant remember the piece he was playing.

I'm sure NO ONE remembered (or cared) what he had played, even the next day!

I wonder if that's what they mean by
"Rising to the Occassion"!!!!!

S

[Goldberg]

I once read an account of George Szell telling Gould that a private preformance of his (Gould's) made him (Szell) nearly come in his pants from listening...

[donjuan]

I once read an account of George Szell telling Gould that a private preformance of his (Gould's) made him (Szell) nearly come in his pants from listening...

wow, you know the performer is really good when you have to arrive at the concert with condoms, eh?

donjuan

(man, I bet Nils is just about to annialate this thread.. )

[Shagdac]

I have to admit, I find it very hard to believe that someone could actually be performing in front of a large crowd, and be able to get themselves into that "state", while having to concentrate on so many other things. It almost seems ridiculous doesn't it. I'm not saying it is not true, but I really do have a hard time believing it!

S

[xvimbi]

I have to admit, I find it very hard to believe that someone could actually be performing in front of a large crowd, and be able to get themselves into that "state", while having to concentrate on so many other things. It almost seems ridiculous doesn't it. I'm not saying it is not true, but I really do have a hard time believing it!

It's not unheard of that orgasms can be induced by activities other than physical stimulation. Many fetishists will be more than happy to attest to that. Georg Szell once told Glenn Gould after one of his performances that his (Gould's) playing almost made him come in his pants. Now, that's something I really don't want to think about too much. Scriabin actively incorporated pictures of sexual acts and orgasms in his music. I wouldn't be suprised if he got carried away occasionally.

[erak]

Maybe this isn't too funny, but heck:

A little kid was really nervous and she had to play her first piece ever infront of an audience. She started playing and inbetween a piece her teacher whispered to her "You're playing an octave too high!". Her face became all white and her eyes spread wide open. Then, slowly, she started moving her hands away from the keyboard and put them _under_ the keyboard . I could hardly not laugh, but it was also very bad for the student, lol.

[ted]

I was in the front stalls at a concert when somebody in the next row let out a tremendous fart while Julius Katchen was playing the slow movement of the Waldstein. He must have heard but didn't let on. There were some stifled giggles in the audience though.

[Hmoll]

I was at an outdoor performance of the Tokyo String Quartet. It was about 95 degrees, and very humid. About halfway through the first piece, the first violinist's instrument literally came unglued. Fortunately it did not cause permanent damage. There was a violinist in the audience who offered to drive home and get his instrument, which took about 15 minutes, and the performance continued.

[benji]

I was at my high school's winter chorus concert, and my group had already finished, so we were watching the other ensembles perform. Well, the 9th-grade chamber choir was in the middle of a song when a boy in the first row fell off the risers and flat onto his face. He got up, quickly said "I'm okay," and got back into place. They had to stop singing the director was laughing so hard.  

[allchopin]

My older brother was playing at a 'little-kids' recital (just as a specialty show) and had played through his piece all the way to the last chord.  This chord, as most ending chords do, wrapped up the height of the piece in a finalizing tone... but to no avail.  He had his hands were perched above the keys, with a twisted strain on his face, but couldn't remember the chord.  He just sighed and walked off the stage, beaten.  

[Tash]

oh i might've mentioned this is another thread, but back in yr3 my friend was singing in the school choir at government house for some thing and she was feeling sick at the time and so mentioned it to someone who told her to 'shutup and sing' so she did, and then vomited all over the girl's infront of her! and so then another girl was replulsed by this and went and vomited in the garden. children are such lovely creatures sometimes

[donjuan]

oh i might've mentioned this is another thread, but back in yr3 my friend was singing in the school choir at government house for some thing and she was feeling sick at the time and so mentioned it to someone who told her to 'shutup and sing' so she did, and then vomited all over the girl's infront of her! and so then another girl was replulsed by this and went and vomited in the garden. children are such lovely creatures sometimes

ewwww   :-/

[ahmedito]

This happened to me about 5 years ago... and since then, I have glasses that dont fall off my face....

I was playing the Grieg G minor Ballade at a recital and I reached a part where you have cords in both hands marked FFFF one after another. (Theyre variations, so the whole variation was like that).
Anyways.... with the first chord I banged my head and my glasses flew off (since then, I have also learned to control my head banging) straight into the piano. With every single one of the chords (in the climax of the Ballade) my glasses would fly up 2 or 3 feet then come back down into the piano....
At the end of the performance, my glasses were completely crushed into a pulp....

[lostinidlewonder]

I remember I was talking about the poverty some composers lived in and then as a joke how musicians are all poor and need money. I got money thrown on stage at me  to which i quickly said, "Well if you want me to take my top off you need to throw more than that!" So they did lol.

[chozart]

In April during my last recital, which I did with my teacher's music school (so there were lots of people ~ students of various instrumental studies, their parents, etc..), there was a radio somewhere that was on and playing rock.

Everyone kept looking around like what, but they couldn't find it; they ultimately gave up since it wasn't too loud nor very distracting.
Kind of weird though..between students you'd hear like Guns n' Roses come on, lol.

[quantum]

This was a free outdoor concert put on by our city's symphony orchestra.  It was very hot, humid, plus it was at night so there were stage lights to make it hotter.  Some musicians started taking off their music stand lights and putting them on the floor.  They were playing Mozart or Handel.  The principal cellist adjusts his music and knocks his glasses case of his stand - it was red and verry visible to the audience.  He waits for an appropriate time in the music to pick it up.  Put's it back on the stand, but fumbles because he needs to play his part at the moment - it falls down again.  His stand partner picks it up - he fumbles it and it falls near the conductor.  The conductor picks it up, but then looks to his music and tries to blindly place the case on the cellists stand while conducting - oopps... it falls again.  By this time the audience could hardly contain their laughter.  The stand partner picks it up - lo and behold, it falls again.  The principal cellist picks it up.....and finally it stays on the stand.  It was so funny, members of the orchestra were trying to keep a straight face. 

[abell88]

I was in the audience at an a cappella choral concert -- all serious stuff, medieval mostly. It was held in a church on the city's biggest street. The conductor blew his pitch pipe to give the choir the starting note for one of their pieces, and a car immediately honked a different note. He blew again, a car honked again...happened three times, and everyone had a hard time keeping a straight face.

[ivoryplayer4him]

Well mine isnt very "Funny" per say but i'm going to put it on here anyway.  I play the piano for a church and One sunday i was playing this really fast jazzy piece for offeratory and the fan that i had on the piano fell onto the key board, hit my hands and just sat there so i had to knock it off really fast and it flew and hit the wall next ot me, but i kept on playin gand everyone had a great laugh and was amazed lol

[ada]

No kidding!  Last time I checked, women don't have penis'.

I don't have one either but the 3rd Movement of the Moonlight Sonata does it for me Apologies for going off topic, I reckon there's a new thread here but I'm not game to start it.

[dmk]

I was playing Schubert's 2nd Klavierstucke in an eisteddfod (not from memory) and was turning a page.  After I turned the page the way i brought my hand down also brought down the piano lid and nearly squashed my fingers.

It was really embarassing at the time...but very funny now