A to Z of music

[pianochick93]

Disclaimer: I'm not stupid enough to think that some of these are true, and please don't turn this into a jazz war.

Accidentals: Wrong notes.

Bar Line: A gathering of people, amongst whom you can usually find a musician or two.

Conductor: A musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.

Da capo al fine: I like your hat!

English Horn: A woodwind that got its name despite being neither English nor a horn. Not to be confused with the French Horn, which is German.

Fermata: A brand of girdle made especially for opera singers.

Glissando: The musical equivalent of slipping on a banana peel. Also used when the musician can't play a difficult run of notes.

Harmonic Minor: A good music student.

Intonation: Playing an instrument with your feet.

Jazz: A form of music wherein each musician plays what they want, when they want to.

Keynote: A message left for the spouse who forgot his keys.

Lamentoso: With handkerchiefs.

Messiah: An oratorio written by Handel and performed nearly every Christmas by choirs that are almost good enough, accompanied by musicians who need the money.

Neoclassical: Music that makes you long for the classics.

Opus: A penguin in Kansas.

Passing Notes: Two oboes attempting to play the same score.


Quintet: Five people playing the same music four could play just as well.

Ragtime: The end of the orchestral piece, when the conductor takes out his handkerchief in a flourish and mops his brow.

Supertonic: Schweppes.

Tempus perfectum: A good time was had by all.

Unison: What the director chooses when the choir is not good enough to sing harmonies.

Vibrato: A method used by singers to hide the fact they are on the wrong pitch.

Wind Ensemble: Congress.

Xylophone: A Greek phrase, literally: "From wood, hello."

Zart: a melodic passing of gas.

[nanabush]

This is pretty damn funny! 

Accidentals is awesome, and so is 'passing notes' and glissando lol.

[quantum]

Haha.    Messiah - It is true!!!

[birba]

Wonderful!!!  There's only one I don't get.  Opus : a penguin in Kansas?

[3htohn]

Wonderful!!!  There's only one I don't get.  Opus : a penguin in Kansas?

Birba, this could be it, just looked up my wiki;

Opus the Penguin (Opus T. Penguin) is a character in the comic strips and children's books of Berkeley Breathed, most notably the popular 1980s strip Bloom County. Breathed has described him as an "existentialist penguin" and the favorite of his many characters. Until November 2, 2008 he ran in the comic strip Opus’ According to Breathed. Opus was named after a song by the rock group Kansas.

Энтони.

[birba]

Ah!  Sort of get it.  Thanx.  Never even HEARD of a rock group, Kansas.  When you get older, you really begin to understand the meaning of "generation gap"...