Hi Ted, thank you so much for your reply, the feedback I have recieved is very helpful for me in better understanding this endeavor/experience. It's interesting to me how you remark about people's reactions to music and how it varies from person to person. About a week ago I watched a portion of a YouTube of Vladimir Feltsman remarking on music as a language of its own; that music exists somewhere that words cease to exist, and therefore words cannot be used to describe the message of music, otherwise there would be no reason for the music. He talked about the message of music standing alone, and that if it doesn't, perhaps something needs to be evaluated as performer (or composer). I have heard similar thoughts on this before, or at least portions of it, but this somehow really struck me and I began to see it in a different way than I ever have before.
Sometimes I have thought that people seek excuses to not have to actually put into words something deep and meaningful, and so at times (and perhaps with certain people) I have thought that perhaps people are just lazy to find the words and/or choose to rather hide behind something like music. That is funny to me, as somebody whom has struggled very greatly in the past with words, getting better in the past several years, but knowing what it feels like to have much, much to say, and genuinely not know how to utter a word. And, even here on the forum I have chosen a musical response at times rather than words. So, in short, I am thinkin' that Mr. Feltsman may indeed be onto somethin'
... hee hee
. On the other hand, if it is true that music speaks something which words cannot, the inverse must be true as well, that words communicate something that music cannot. I suppose that's another subject though.
What I do find interesting though is that this little composition is indeed a deliberate communication, probably the most deliberate I have ever done in any medium. Considering what it is about, it is indeed something which I would like to say could not be put into words, and on some level that is entirely true. I treated its making as THEE way to communicate what I needed, and somehow something meaningful to at least me came out. I became curious about whether or not the music could truly stand alone in such a way, that the intended message could actually be or be experienced as some sort of previously "missing link" inside an individual, and upon the listener listening, s/he recognizes somehow a part of him/herself within it. Perhaps it is true in variables, depending upon the individual's soul, but I realized that, to me, it says what it says and waht it's meant to say, perhaps it will strike a person one way or another, and different people in different ways, but there is a certain satisfaction in just having gotten the message out in a way that seems the right fit.
In any event, I actually do enjoy this smaller form and could indeed see myself writing more in a similar manner. At one point I wondered how to know how long/big a particular idea would be when perhaps an initial little nugget surfaces, at least if one is not settng out from the beginning to fill in a certain form (which I am not altogether opposed to, especially as a compostional exercise) ? Then I figured that a person would more or less just know whether the idea was complete or not, and that the music itself would communicate something of that nature during the process. I have for a long time felt as though I have symphonies and such to write, and ideas and feelings and intuitions that seem huge, but maybe they are not quite what I think and I must better allow myself to be outside a box --or even THEE box-- for awhile to find out.
Thanks so much again to all
.
Topic: Prelude in f minor (original composition)