PLEASE HELP w/ a highly competitive teacher

[just_me]

Hi, all. I am an adult student. My teacher is highly competitive, w 2 degrees from Juilliard. When he thinks that I'm not performing my best, he throws out lines like "Oh, you're the little engine who just thinks they can..." so that I will rise to the challenge. A companion technique to this is that he ingratiates himself into your life and then uses your personal insecurities or even involvement outside of the studio (the other little projects you may have, like writing your book, even though you've already published...) saying [and sincerely meaning], "Yeah, right you're writing a book."
Here's the problem, I have a pretty severe lung condition and over the past 2 years I've been accumulating complications from other body systems (namely my heart). However, my teacher reads my decreased effort as a lack of will. When I tell him I'm having I had a bad week physically, he reads it as "I just didn't feel like practicing this week." Moreover, when I tell him some of the more outlandish medical stuff going on...there have been times when he thinks I'm making it up or when I tell him that I have a lung infection, if I don't ~look~ like I'm having a more difficult time breathing, he says "Oh, you always have those." (meaning you don't look like it so you probably didn't want to practice this week.)
Here's the thing -- I WANT to rise to the challenge, but I can't discriminate between what is "coaching" versus WHAT IS BEING A BIG F**ing A****** [alternatively, douchebag]. The piano and music in general is a HUGE part of my life. I will always play, but if I'm going to be attacked personally, the stress along with the health condition, I just can't take. My illness is progressive and my teacher knows this. However, b/c my medical therapy is always increasing and I keep that on the down-low, he actually thinks that I'm doing just fine (and, even if I'm not, I suspect he reasons, he wants me to achieve the most I can; I honestly think his motivations are good.) When I try and tell him this, he just doesn't want to hear it, meaning "I'm gonna treat you the same as all my other students." Finally, the whole reason he attacks you personally is as a way of getting your blood moving for an emotionally engaging musical experience. He is doing it so that he sees the fire in your eyes and you WANT to prove him wrong... but personally, as an adult...it seems that responding to that behavior in the way he wants...just gives him a permission slip to abuse you for X amt of time.

I've read tons of books, from Geiseking to the "The Inner Game of Music"  -- is there any book that you guys know of that is related to sports psychology that might match my teacher's "coaching" style??? Is it possible if I talk to him for him not to attack my other projects (honestly, they are what keeps me going (along WITH piano)). I would be able to handle this better if I was able to sort out what was actually personal versus what was productive criticism.

Any insight in this matter is ~greatly~ appreciated!