An escape

[furtwaengler]

Things have never been well in my family, reeling from dysfunction. That term, dysfunction, is just a cover...a sad story of lives utterly ripped apart by sin. There were some explosions today, which is not unusual, but how long will they be alive?

...

I sometimes sit at the piano at hard times and just improvise, stream of conscious. Whatever comes out is not really the point; it's the very act in which lies the value. These are not compositions, though they often are made up of beautiful sounds and certain structures and climaxes, of impulses found in or translating to compositions. Improvisation serves a different role. And that they are recorded, preserved in any format, adds another unique element, especially when those spontaneous sounds become familiar. If an improvisation were repeated note for note, it would fail to be an improvisation...but a recording of that first event is a document, and will never cease to be improvisation, no matter how many times it is heard. There's great value in that, and I'm glad to have these documents even if, for the equipment sake, it is a shadow of what really took place.

Music will not solve any of life's problems...but it is an escape - and a healthy escape at that, a necessary release, a stress reliever, and this does help.  

This particular improvisation was played on October 5th, 2009 immediately following the bad report from the doctors on Eileen Richardson's cancer, and Sandra Thompson's cancer. Eileen, a couple weeks later, would be paralyzed, and they both died a week a part from each other in November. Cancer is horrible. Just this week also, a student at the college where I work passed away due to brain cancer...22 years old. What can be said?

I took this improvisation along with me for my commute in treacherous driving conditions (due to a bad winter storm - Tennessee does not respond well to this weather), and I came home to find strife upon strife. It seems still an appropriate escape.

It also seems appropriate to extend this music out to other ears then mine, to share it with my friends at Pianostreet. It is not strife ridden...it's an escape from all that. Though the emotion of October 5th appears in many spots, it is more calm and tranquil - very close to the world of one of my favorites, "Comfort, Oh Comfort," which was previously posted here:

https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?PHPSESSID=ed8181456c0451e92e037ca56e21e549&topic=35329.0

It's over 31 minutes of one stream of improvisation. I hope you enjoy.  

(Replaced November 8, 2010. Original file 19 downloads.)

[pianowolfi]

1. A most familiar voice, awoken by gifted hands.
An escape? Perhaps the comforting call and hand of an angel.
2. Disturbances. Nothing destructive, but quite a bit scary to the "escaper".
3. This part is not easy to describe. I feel similar as if I watched children playing, but not loudly, rather like lost in daydreams. Something very youthful, innocent. (Now I'm near the half)
4. After the break (is that you speaking?): here it feels like an atmosphere of grief and sorrow took over. Sigh motifs get in a sort of competition to distinctly and loudly protesting voices. The loud voices win eventually in a huge buildup.
5. The comforting mood from the beginning returns for a short while.
6. The last section is actually a humoresque to me. Playful, even high-spirited. Like the grief and sorrow has been overcome.

Most interesting music, Dave, from a world of it's own

[furtwaengler]

Thanks Wolfi. I'm glad it's become familiar. It's a language I do find comforting. I am no stranger to dissonance, and actually probably love it too much for certain people...but I find the world of this improvisation lends a greater context to the dissonances (musically speaking).

That is me speaking (moaning?) at the break...I forgot about that. I like the sigh motifs, but am a little perplexed by the loud voices that win because with their background (quotations from another improv), there is no logical way for this to be the conclusion of what those sigh motifs were building up to. I am uploading this other improvisation which is from either fall 2007 or spring 2008, because in that original context those roaring 5ths work very well. It's only a little more than 5 minutes, and I love it (though I wish my articulation had been consistent!). Taking after you I will form it into a composition, and probably do the same with "Comfort, Oh Comfort," as well (but this other one will not called Barbershop...you'll understand why I called it Barbershop.) This took place in a choir room and some point you can hear choir music fall off the piano, sounding like a page turn (I've probably withheld it because it sounds more like an unfinished composition then an improvisation - but it packs a punch!). I love working with the same material in different improvisations for it reveals the limitless possibilities of one single motif. I've experienced this in your work with E-A-B-A and the Dies Irae. I'll post a more specific example of this soon...something I've been withholding for a while from that magical year, 2008.  

But back to that lengthy piece up top: "The last section is actually a humoresque to me. Playful, even high-spirited. Like the grief and sorrow has been overcome." - Ah, that's a positive approach, and I like how music can have a multiplicity of meaning. I see after the serious tone past the break, a breaking up of sanity into delirium...everything becomes fragmentary and without aim, many threads are started and then abandoned, until finally after some gathering it all comes to a crashing end. But, by and large, like Comfort, Oh Comfort, the theme is...comfort. This was the whole function of sitting down at the piano at that time and is also the overwhelming outcome of what the recorder picked up. I like this world enough...it is mine, a part of me. In fact it is unprecedented to listen to something I've done and expect so much of what comes next and have the satisfaction that much of what was played was exactly what should have been played, even if the execution is sometimes a little wanting.

I live in those sounds and I am happy to share them with others such as yourself. You've been a tremendous advocate and inspiration to me on this forum, Wolfi.    

[lostinidlewonder]

Things have never been well in my family, reeling from dysfunction. That term, dysfunction, is just a cover...a sad story of lives utterly ripped apart by sin.

Through suffering we may triumph and from this we grow more as a person than if life was seen through rose tinted glass. That you have a family is already much more than what some can ever dream of.

I sometimes sit at the piano at hard times and just improvise, stream of conscious.

To me it is a stream of semi consciousness We exist within a region of knowing what we are doing but at the same time being an audience to the music that our hands produce almost as if we where outside ourselves where we are are not fully aware of the decision making of the performing hands. One active thing I think I am consciously aware of when improvisation is trying to tone down complications, often I over complicate and make things too "thick" sounding or too confusing sounding, or too uncomfortable sounding.

Music will not solve any of life's problems...but it is an escape - and a healthy escape at that, a necessary release, a stress reliever, and this does help. 

I don't believe that anything in our life can be solved with an immediate step, it is a compilation of many efforts and sometimes it is being able to live with the problems in our life instead of trying to erase it. Playing piano (especially improvising for me) allows us to express emotion inside ourselves which we are unable to do with human logic or words. In this respect it is an extremely powerful healing device allowing us to deal with unsolvable problems since we are able to express a deep emotion a solution almost to our problem, through music. When we dream at night we sometimes are confronted by situations which are so strange but in some way address a deep conflict within us, it is our subconscious solving our problems outside of the realms of human logic.

I will have to listen to the entire improvisation before commenting so far 12:00-16:00 stands out as a very nice part in your improv.

I re-sampled your recording because I hate hissing sounds in recordings.

[pianowolfi]

Hi Furtwängler, bravo to "Barbershop" I really like it very much! I'm listening to Numb again, plan to write a bit more perhaps, if I have time during the next days.

So far I just want to say, I didn't mean it as something negative what I wrote about the fight between sigh motifs and loud voices. I found this really suspenseful and interesting

[furtwaengler]

So far I just want to say, I didn't mean it as something negative what I wrote about the fight between sigh motifs and loud voices. I found this really suspenseful and interesting

Oh, no Wolfi, I never read you that way, or meant to give you that impression. This was my over explaining epidemic! I was stating my opinion as a bridge to presenting "Barbershop" which uses some of the same material in a much different way. (I write way too much )

I'm glad you like "Barbershop." I think it's my ode to Horowitz.