Setting up rules

[jenilyn]

I am having a problem with a family I teach.  I teach four of their children so they all come over to my tiny house and set up camp.  Well, they aren't really good about cleaning up after themselves.  Today I went in my bathroom to find a mess and I was so mad!  How do I approach the mother and maybe set some rules.  What do all of you do in this situation?  I have never had to deal with this many kids in my home and I am going crazy cleaning up after them every week!

[allthumbs]

You are kidding right?

Just tell the parents what you expect the behavior of the students to be. If you set out clear and straight forward rules, they will comply.

I would not let this type of behavior in my studio.

allthumbs

[go12_3]

I have never had students with this type of a problem.  Even with 4 in the family.  I used
to teach 4 children from one family, but the mom only had 2 come at a time...
I think you need to address the mom of the issue before the situation distresses you more than
ever.  Just let the mom know that it has been distracting for you to teach  with her 4 children at your studio and could you teach 2 on one day and 2 on another day.  I'm sure the mom, if she is accomodating, will be agreeable, hopefully she will be. 

[tdow]

I feel your pain!  I've since moved into a commercially leased space for the past 5 years so my troubles are over, but I do know the feeling of invasion that happens with having lessons in your own home.  I left signs in the bathroom that said "We use this bathroom too!  Please leave it as you found it." and then made a point of asking the mom to go with the child into the bathroom "because the door sometimes sticks" (it doesn't, but I wanted her to see the sign).  I think she got the point as the sink was no longer filled with bubbles and the soap stayed on the counter!  Having a clearly defined area of your home as a waiting area helps - even if you have to invest in some free-standing screens etc.  If it's a mess before they leave - addressing the child directly and not the parent works wonders too ("Oh!  Sarah - I see that the books are all over the floor, can you put them away before you leave?") is a BIG hint to the parent!

--------------------------------------
The Art and Business of Piano Teaching
www.teachpianotoday.com

[honeywill]

I would have a firm chat with the children at the beginning of the next lesson along the lines of "this is my home, and i expect you to respect that. You are not to make a mess or help yourself to my stuff etc" Tell them that you will not put up with a repeat of their behaviour and that you will talk to their mother if it happens again.  Then - follow through! Make sure you check on them regularly throughout the lessons and stop early so that there is time for clearing up if they have made a mess. Be prepared to speak to the mother if you have to.

What would happen if one of the children injured themselves or did some serious damage to your property while they were playing unsupervised in your bedroom? Personally, I will not provide a baby-sitting service for waiting siblings unless they are old enough to sit in the same room as me and read very quietly. It sounds as though you are being taken advantage of...

[mrsmusic13]

How long do you have all 4 in the house? I couldn't do it and think you should tell the mother, and have her bring 2 at a time(maybe you could suggest which 2 should come first, second), Then she can pick up the first 2 and drop off the second two. Trying to keep an eye on all 4 is too much. Next, they'll be going through your dresser drawers, opening things they shouldn't, running outside, breaking things. 

I do teach siblings. One plays, one works on computer theory or games, or plays the keyboard(with headphones), does homework, music assignments while the other plays, and then they switch. That seems to be more manageable to me.

It's not like this mother couldn't find something to do with the other 2. There are stores, libraries, parks, and if she's close....home

Take Care, LLP

[lilla]

I'm particularly concerned about use of restroom - of course if someone needs to use it, they are welcome to.  But I always remind students that they are to use the restroom before they come to lessons, and that I do not have a public restroom.  I have had students go in, close the door, and stay for exceptionally long time, so that I knock on door and ask if they are OK.  I have no idea what they are doing in there.  There are many things in a washroom that could be dangerous to an unstable personality.  I don't know what problems parents may have with a student.  I also had one student ask me to "come wipe him".  That same student on a different occasion was sick and thankfully made it to the bathroom, but proceeded from a standing position.  Meaning much clean-up after his lesson.  Ugh.  More than one student has had trouble getting their pants closed up or pulled up.  I do not offer assistance - that is a real road to trouble.  I remind their parents also to be sure they use the restroom before lessons.  I guess this could all go into that book we're going to write . . . .

[lostinidlewonder]

I would simply ask her to please clean up after they have finished especially if they are younger children there is nothing to be embarrassed about asking for this. I would mention that many people use the restroom as well so please keep it clean for the next person. Otherwise you can always say you have contracted a very contagious skin disease and they can't use the bathroom no more!

[gracehaven]

If I have to have a chat with a parent, I send them a brief email during the week that says something to the effect of At pianist 1, 2, 3, and 4's next lesson, I would like to have a chat with you about bathroom cleanliness in my studio.  Have a great day!  Sincerely,    That gives the parent a chance to absorb the topic during the week, if she/he is wise, to have a pre-chat with her pianists' about the topic, and to be ready for you when the parent and pianists arrive at your door.  Simple, straight to the point, and everyone knows the conversation is coming. 

And it gives you a chance to plan out exactly what you are going to say.  Maybe you will have 3 rules written down to keep you on track and a cute sign in your bathroom.  One of those rules should be: you make a mess, you clean it up. 

Before that family leaves, check the bathroom.  If it is not to your standard, make them clean it.  If the pianists argue and fuss over who made the mess, make a command decision and have one of them clean it.  Keep a log of who cleaned the bathroom, so that if it happens again in the future, you can choose a different pianist (or the same one, depending on the situation.)  Have cleaner and paper towels standing by if necessary.  And be consistent.  Every week.  If the parent won't enforce the rules at your house (or her own), you have to.  Be the Bathroom Na*i.