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The most idiotic statements you've ever heard? (Read 2733 times)

Offline stucoy

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The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
« on: March 17, 2010, 05:24:26 PM »
What are the most idiotic statements you've ever heard? Mine are: "All classical music is send-you-to-sleep music" - stated by my cousin's fiance, and agreed with by my uncle, and: "Catch-22 is the greatest novel ever written" - stated by several people on Amazon. Also I remember reading opinions on Amazon along the lines of: "Andrea Bocelli is the greatest tenor around, and Mr. Pavarotti must be quaking in his boots."

Offline gep

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #1 on: March 17, 2010, 05:44:27 PM »
"Don't you want to commit suicide after hearing such depressing music??" (Someone hearing one of  Bach's Brandenbrugs on my work-place radio).

"I for one am glad fate didn't allow Bruckner to finish the Finale of his 9th symphon˙, for I don't want to hear abything after the most moving of farewells that is the Adagio" (Georg Tintner, famous Bruckner conductor)

"Because we couldn't get the best we must make due with the mediocre" (Leipzig city council member on the appointment of Bach).

"You really should take the effort to hear and take pop music seriously" (various versions by various people).
In the long run, any words about music are less important than the music. Anyone who thinks otherwise is not worth talking to (Shostakovich)

Offline stevebob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #2 on: March 17, 2010, 05:59:51 PM »
What are the most idiotic statements you've ever heard? Mine are: "All classical music is send-you-to-sleep music" - stated by my cousin's fiance, and agreed with by my uncle, and: "Catch-22 is the greatest novel ever written" - stated by several people on Amazon. Also I remember reading opinions on Amazon along the lines of: "Andrea Bocelli is the greatest tenor around, and Mr. Pavarotti must be quaking in his boots."

If those statements were expressed as opinions, I'd hesitate to brand any of them "idiotic"; to each his (or her) own.  If they were intended as unqualified declarations of fact (or opinions that were so obviously valid that they should be universally shared), though, then that's pretty idiotic.

I think it's most aggravating when someone has a complete misapprehension of an undisputed fact.  Some examples I recall from personal experience were steadfast insistence that Roy Orbison was blind, that the mint once represented by the mark "O" on U.S. coins was in Omaha, and that every community in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles is an independent municipality.  (Two of those assertions came from the same individual, too.  Yipes, now that's idiotic.  :) )
What passes you ain't for you.

Offline argerichfan

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #3 on: March 17, 2010, 07:43:53 PM »
Karajan on the Enigma Variations:

'Why conduct second-rate Brahms when I can have the real thing?'

 >:(

Offline rob47

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #4 on: March 17, 2010, 08:51:33 PM »
"Phenomenon 1 is me"
-Alexis Weissenberg

Offline horowitzian

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #5 on: March 17, 2010, 09:55:42 PM »
Karajan on the Enigma Variations:

'Why conduct second-rate Brahms when I can have the real thing?'

 >:(

That's a pretty nasty one.  :o

Offline stevebob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #6 on: March 17, 2010, 10:02:38 PM »
For bizarre historical reviews with frequently insulting comments about composers, The Lexicon of Musical Invective by Nicolas Slonimsky is a trove.
What passes you ain't for you.

Offline argerichfan

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #7 on: March 17, 2010, 10:13:18 PM »
For bizarre historical reviews with frequently insulting comments about composers, The Lexicon of Musical Invective by Nicolas Slonimsky is a trove.
Indeed.  I have that book! 

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #8 on: March 17, 2010, 10:29:25 PM »
"Hats off gentleman, a genius"

What kind of moron says that!!!

Thal
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Offline pocho

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #9 on: March 17, 2010, 10:49:14 PM »
"Hats off gentleman, a genius"

What kind of moron says that!!!

Thal

Hope you're only insulting Schumann, and not the receiver of the comment.

The most idiotic comment I've heard is indeed the, "classical music puts you to sleep" crap.

Offline horowitzian

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #10 on: March 17, 2010, 11:29:57 PM »
Hope you're only insulting Schumann, and not the receiver of the comment.

The most idiotic comment I've heard is indeed the, "classical music puts you to sleep" crap.
Huh. They ought to try Mahler. Then they'd learn the meaning of wanting to go to sleep, but being unable to do so due to the massive bombast that would make a death metal band proud.  ;D

Offline retrouvailles

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #11 on: March 17, 2010, 11:30:23 PM »
Here are a few:

"Lang Lang is one of the greatest pianists alive."

The conductor Sir Thomas Beecham was once asked whether he had conducted any Stockhausen. He replied: "No, but I once trod in some."

Perhaps more later.

Offline horowitzian

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #12 on: March 19, 2010, 09:05:36 PM »
Here are a few:

"Lang Lang is one of the greatest pianists alive."

The conductor Sir Thomas Beecham was once asked whether he had conducted any Stockhausen. He replied: "No, but I once trod in some."

Perhaps more later.

That Beecham quote is a hoot. ;D

(On another forum), I read something to the effect of the "first movement of Für Elise".  ::)

Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #13 on: March 19, 2010, 09:16:59 PM »
"You really should take the effort to hear and take pop music seriously" (various versions by various people).

I like it Gep, I like it a lot.  Same idiotic statement I here from time to time.
"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline stevebob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #14 on: March 19, 2010, 09:33:11 PM »
Errm ... is the statement idiotic because pop music is bad?  Or because the assumption that anybody who likes classical doesn't appreciate pop is stupid?
What passes you ain't for you.

Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #15 on: March 19, 2010, 09:39:13 PM »
Well I think that taking pop music seriously is a waste of time, therefore, I take it as somewhat of a stupid statement.
"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline pianowolfi

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #16 on: March 19, 2010, 09:55:12 PM »
Well, lol. I am a piano teacher. So I need to take pop music somewhat seriously. Because otherwise you won't survive in a time like this... :P And btw there are some things that I really like. A few gems.

Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #17 on: March 19, 2010, 10:01:09 PM »
Hmmm...well everybody has different opinions about music I suppose.
"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline furtwaengler

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #18 on: March 20, 2010, 10:37:05 AM »
Well Stockhausen said something about Beethoven in the 60's, and Stockhausen said something about September 11, 2001 within that week that got a festival canceled, and Beecham actually never trod in Stockhausen, for had he, he might have seen the genius of the Gruppen, or at least marveled at the electronic music which might have been accessible to him had he lived to see it. Oh well...
Don't let anyone know where you tie your goat.

Offline pianisten1989

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #19 on: March 20, 2010, 06:56:56 PM »
"Oh God, I really hate La Campanella.. it sounds like a *** bell!"

Offline liordavid

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #20 on: March 20, 2010, 11:47:12 PM »
Ravel once said to his pianist playing the left hand concerto "interpreters are slaves

Offline vviola

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Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #22 on: March 21, 2010, 06:05:51 AM »
Which reply are we looking at there, vviola?
"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline minor9th

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #23 on: March 21, 2010, 06:17:06 AM »
Anything from anyone on Fox "News" or the Tea Bagger Party.

Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #24 on: March 21, 2010, 06:30:21 AM »
How about anything that comes out of Joe Biden's mouth or Barack Obama's when he isn't reading what somebody else has written for him off a teleprompter?

I wonder if he will end up visiting all 57 states?  But more importantly...will there be any corpse-men along the way?
 ;)

But on a more musical note:
"Bruckner is the greatest living peril, a tonal Antichrist.  His music may radiate the fragrance of heavenly roses, and yet be poisoned with the sulphur of Hell."
"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline furtwaengler

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #25 on: March 21, 2010, 07:15:54 AM »
Anything from anyone on Fox "News" or the Tea Bagger Party.

Hasn't this forum been through enough lately without resorting to immature homosexual innuendo?
Don't let anyone know where you tie your goat.

Offline furtwaengler

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #26 on: March 21, 2010, 07:17:49 AM »
But on a more musical note:
"Bruckner is the greatest living peril, a tonal Antichrist.  His music may radiate the fragrance of heavenly roses, and yet be poisoned with the sulphur of Hell."

I once had a teacher with textbook knowledge suggest I needed a counselor because of my love of Bruckner's 5th Symphony. 
Don't let anyone know where you tie your goat.

Offline stevebob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #27 on: March 21, 2010, 01:14:51 PM »
Hasn't this forum been through enough lately without resorting to immature homosexual innuendo?

I don't think Tea Bagger can fairly be called "homosexual innuendo"; the activity so described hardly requires that the participants be of the same gender.

In any case, characterizing Fox News or the "Tea Bagger Party" as idiotic isn't an ad hominem attack.

How about anything that comes out of Joe Biden's mouth or Barack Obama's when he isn't reading what somebody else has written for him off a teleprompter?

This, on the other hand, is an ad hominem attack.
What passes you ain't for you.

Offline smithreeseii

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #28 on: March 21, 2010, 03:35:22 PM »
I once had a teacher with textbook knowledge suggest I needed a counselor because of my love of Bruckner's 5th Symphony.  

With your name, I knew you had to be a Bruckner fan... ;D

"In the war waged in Vienna between the factions of Wagner and Brahms, Bruckner strayed into the battlefield and became the only casualty."
-Erwin Doernberg

Offline cpessimist

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #29 on: March 25, 2010, 10:36:31 PM »
"Because we couldn't get the best we must make due with the mediocre" (Leipzig city council member on the appointment of Bach).  I second this one! One of the most idiotic statements ever uttered.

My personal one is that my friend was convinced that z was a vowel.  His reasoning was that "all hispanic names end in vowels."  We asked him in what word was z the active vowel and he responded "xylophone" we said that there wasn't even a z in that word.  He then went on to say "zzz" (for sleeping).  The worst part is that he isn't even stupid, he graduated from college and holds a salaried job...

Offline gep

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #30 on: March 26, 2010, 09:55:14 AM »
Well, lol. I am a piano teacher. So I need to take pop music somewhat seriously. Because otherwise you won't survive in a time like this... :P And btw there are some things that I really like. A few gems.
If you would translate "a few gems" to "lots and lots of pure pearls", I'd agree.

You do know of course that a pearl is the product of a sickly excretion by a mollusc type of animal? Molluscs of any kind are not famous for the amount of brain they got, or their musical prowess....

gep
In the long run, any words about music are less important than the music. Anyone who thinks otherwise is not worth talking to (Shostakovich)

Offline 3htohn

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #31 on: March 26, 2010, 11:22:12 AM »
I've have been a member of a certain organization for over 28 years that organizers a marching band competition (parades & field contests) in my county every year and I have been attending to help in the running of it every year religiously without fail, through rain, hail and or shine... because a love it.

A colleague of mine who has been in the same organisation for much of the same number of years as myself but had only been once or at the very most twice in the last 20 odd years (but usually had some funny reason why they could not come) actually came last year and commented at the end of the day, "Hey this would be really good if we had more people".

Энтони.

Offline point of grace

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #32 on: March 31, 2010, 03:40:44 AM »
I want to kill myself!!!!!! (my bro in law hearing the first movement of moonlight).
Learning:

Chopin Polonaise Op. 53
Brahms Op. 79 No. 2
Rachmaninoff Op. 16 No. 4 and 5

Offline nanabush

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #33 on: April 01, 2010, 05:30:58 AM »
"George Lucas is a pop composer.  Listen to the Titanic sound track.  The music for Avatar is probably going to be the same"



Firstly - George Lucas didn't write "my heart will go on" nor is he even a film composer. 

Secondly - The guy kept saying George Lucas, and not once did he correct himself.  I was completely speechless after hearing that.  This was pretty much the biggest "talking out of your a$$" statement I've ever heard anyone say.  This is a great example of someone trying to be a know-it-all ALWAYS with something to say even if they don't know anything about the subject.  This one pushed it over the line and I HAD to call the guy out on the comment.
Interested in discussing:

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Offline richard black

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #34 on: April 01, 2010, 07:27:07 PM »
Quote
I want to kill myself!!!!!! (my bro in law hearing the first movement of moonlight).

That's actually rather appropriate given that, as I've been told, Beethoven was contemplating suicide at the time he wrote the Moonlight.

I heard a lovely idiotic statement today, apropros of nothing: 'Pavarotti [whose death had just been announced when this statement was made] got his break singing at the World Cup'. Major cause/effect disorder syndrome there....
Instrumentalists are all wannabe singers. Discuss.

Offline orangesodaking

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #35 on: April 01, 2010, 09:07:48 PM »
EDIT: I'm sorry, this is not idiotic at all! Just funny, so don't take it as me calling Rachy an idiot, because he sure isn't!

Rachmaninoff playing a concerto along with the orchestra. A violinist near him messes up and loses his place in the score.
Violinist (asking Rachmaninoff): Where are we?
Rachmaninoff: Carnegie Hall.

(Happy birthday Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff!)

Offline weissenberg2

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #36 on: April 02, 2010, 12:41:16 AM »
EDIT: I'm sorry, this is not idiotic at all! Just funny, so don't take it as me calling Rachy an idiot, because he sure isn't!

Rachmaninoff playing a concerto along with the orchestra. A violinist near him messes up and loses his place in the score.
Violinist (asking Rachmaninoff): Where are we?
Rachmaninoff: Carnegie Hall.

(Happy birthday Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff!)

He probably just misunderstood the question, especially if he asked him in English.
"A true friend is one who likes you despite your achievements." - Arnold Bennett

Offline orangesodaking

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #37 on: April 02, 2010, 01:00:43 PM »
Actually, I found an essay on the internet, and it seems like he said that on purpose.

Oh, yes.  Rachmaninoff had a sense of humor.  Fritz Kreisler told the story which emanated from one of their joint recitals in New York.  It seems that Kreisler had a momentary lapse of memory during the concert.  He edged over toward the piano and whispered to Rachmaninoff, "Where are we?"  Rachmaninoff never skipped a note as he answered, "In Carnegie Hall!"

-From "As I Saw Rachmaninoff" by Abrim Chasins

Offline ponken

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #38 on: April 02, 2010, 05:44:49 PM »
I think when a teacher in school forced me to put protective glasses on when I did the dishes. It can be dangerous for the eyes.  Hahaha

Offline thalbergmad

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #39 on: April 02, 2010, 05:57:04 PM »
That is idiotic as men should not be doing the dishes.

Should be left for the women.

Thal
Curator/Director
Concerto Preservation Society

Offline richard black

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #40 on: April 02, 2010, 08:39:52 PM »
Quote
That is idiotic as men should not be doing the dishes.

Should be left for the women.

Coming from a bachelor, that could be taken as a loaded comment!
Instrumentalists are all wannabe singers. Discuss.

Offline Bob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #41 on: April 03, 2010, 02:16:30 AM »
Just throw the dishes out.  Problem solved.

If you're a bachelor... and eventually you find someone and aren't a bachelor anymore.... Well... That's going to be an awful lot of dishes waiting for her.  Years and years worth I would imagine.  :D  She won't have any time to complain in that case.



One phrase/saying I can't stand -- "I don't know how to play an instrument, but I do know how to play.... the radio."  And saying it like it's the funniest, cleverest joke... ugh.  That moves people a few notches lower in my mind. 
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline ahinton

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #42 on: April 03, 2010, 09:56:29 AM »
Coming from a bachelor, that could be taken as a loaded comment!
It could indeed, but all that surely needs to be "loaded" is the dishwasher, which even to a confirmed bachelor like Thal is hardly a female-only duty, is it? (he'll no doubt tell us shortly!)...

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
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Offline Bob

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #43 on: April 03, 2010, 11:27:23 PM »
Not a music one, but... ::)


"I like to kiss sharks."


Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline richard black

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #44 on: April 04, 2010, 08:51:09 PM »
Most idiotic statement I've heard in a long time -

'Sure, I'll do that reduced orchestration of the opera'

Stated by me. Last month. With a deadline of mid-May. Sh**. Why _do_ I say these things? I'm outta here.
Instrumentalists are all wannabe singers. Discuss.

Offline ahinton

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #45 on: April 05, 2010, 09:44:37 AM »
Most idiotic statement I've heard in a long time -

'Sure, I'll do that reduced orchestration of the opera'

Stated by me. Last month. With a deadline of mid-May. Sh**. Why _do_ I say these things? I'm outta here.
What to do? Well, I might suggest (a) "scream for help" and then (b) "call David Matthews" except that he's in Australia for another 2˝ weeks...

Best,

Alistair
Alistair Hinton
Curator / Director
The Sorabji Archive

Offline ponken

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #46 on: April 05, 2010, 11:01:38 AM »
That is idiotic as men should not be doing the dishes.

Should be left for the women.

Thal

That was the most idiotic statement I have heard. Lol :)

Offline mrba1979

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Re: The most idiotic statements you've ever heard?
«Reply #47 on: April 05, 2010, 11:25:20 PM »
"We are not racists, we just believe in purity of race."

Last line from article posted below.


http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hrpMwBXkcT9U82xFm1JPNnmRqtAQD9ET25HO2


I am no longer fighting my inner demons.  We are now all on the same side.