Hate it

[jvstjohn]

I am posting because I went looking for advice regarding frustration with piano and found a thread on this website that had teachers who were hurt when students simply quit.  I have paid for a month of lessons and have had two and have never in my life hated something as much as the piano.  I'm 39 years old, have a PhD in applied mathematics and chemistry and have spent my life doing hard things but I am at the point of absolute depression and hatred over simple differences in the top and bottom of the grand staff.  I do not enjoy the piano, I am completely turned around on which hand is which and which direction to go up or down and have not gotten a single set of the exercises correct and absolutely can't stand the way this is put together.  I don't want my teacher to have her feelings hurt but if I had an undergraduate student in my classes who absolutely hated chemistry and could not understand dimensional analysis or conversion factors I would understand their desire to go into english and would not be hurt by the decision.  I have never had a sense of revulsion toward something as great as what I am feeling about trying to get these notes right on a staff.  I'm glad someone understands it but it is clearly not for me.  I'm just posting because I want to let my teacher know in a nice way that she would be better off with a student who is motivated by music.

[pianowolfi]

You are 39? And you hate it after 2 lessons? Why did you start it in the first place then?

[Bob]

Just relax and break things down. 

Try turning the staff on its side.  That helps some people. 

Maybe take several shorter lessons during the week so your teacher can work with you more and explain things more.

If it's just the staff that is throwing you, you've narrowed in on that and that's a lot of the battle.  It might be ways of thinking about music are just a little foreign to you for now.  It could take some warming up -- things like pitches being higher or lower and how that translates to the staff.  I could see a teacher, esp a new one, kind of glossing over things like that.

[quantum]

This reminds me of a page from The Craft of Research.  Look on pg 118 in the 3rd ed. 

Sounds like you are going through a similar temporary aphasia.

As you are new to music, you do not understand much of it yet.  Don't try to start juggling large concepts of why this happens, or why it is written that way.  As a PhD you were probably trained to ask such questions - but of a field that you are intimately familiar with.  This is not necessary at your stage of music learning.  Just try to take as much of it in and approach it as a new language.  It may not make sense at first, it may contradict your reasoning, it may work in ways that seem odd compared what you are used to - just let it!  You can save the bigger thinking for later, when you can understand more of music and have a basis to ask such questions.

[Bob]

Notes on the staff can take awhile to sink in too.  It's like learning multiplication tables in a way.  I'm still working on chord things.  I don't think there's an end to it.

And hand coordination can be issue.  Things just take time to sink in but it happens after awhile.  I heard 21 days to create a new habit, but I think it's something like that for the thought processing and physical movements to get to a certain point where they're automatic. 

Actually this sounds like a typical issue for adult learners.  It's not instant.  If you're smart and learn in one area easily, it might not be the same with music and that's frustrating.  Maybe your mind isn't wired up that way, or maybe it just takes more time.  And practice.  Some of it is physical too and your body has to recover and adjust after practicing. 

The note naming and staff things... I'm thinking a teacher should be able to adapt to cover that, although I could see a teacher not being thorough enough with it too.  There are lots of threads on here about learning note names -- drill, flashcards, sayings like 'every good boy deserves fudge,' etc.  Flashcards for letter-naming notes on the staff, for naming keys on the keyboard, etc. 

[soundthumb]

This sounds like the kind of frustration I have felt many times (maybe not quite as intense).  I started lessons 3 years ago and it took me back to the kind of frustration I had trying to learn quantum mechanics many, many years ago.  Here are a couple of things that make it hard for me.  First, I am so conditioned to having things go from A on the top to Z on the bottom, that the lettering of the staff is absolutely backwards.  I know logically why it is lettered the way it is, but in my head I still do not "see" it and have to slowly calculate the letters.  Have not found a way to do this.  Second thing is that the left hand fingering is also backwards.  It goes from finger one on the right to finger 5 on the left.  This one I have been able to overcome.  Simply label the left hand fingers with a minus sign.  Then it all makes sense and as a bonus, it removes the ambiguity of the numbering system.

Here is what keeps me going.  I tell myself that no one else cares about my frustration.  Wining is of no use.  I want to learn and month by month I am learning.  By the way, it takes me three to four weeks to learn to play anything.  What I mean is it seems to take that long for the brain to rewire.  Therefore, it is not surprising that after 2 lessons you see no progress, even on something that would appear to be very simple.  If you really want to learn to play, I know you can, you just have to find a way to ignore the frustration.

Good luck on your choice.  As you can tell, mine was to keep going and I have no regrets.

[adla]

Is this a joke? PhD math and chemistry and you have difficulty with notes on a staff?
If you hate it so much do not sign up for more lessons.

[dss62467]

It's ok, nobody said you HAVE to love it.  I started training to be a fitness instructor once and then realized I hate people talking to me while I'm working out.  It takes a long time and dedication to get anywhere with the piano.  If you don't love it, then you're wasting your money and time.  But, you may want to try a little longer.  You may see why it doesn't suck

[littletune]

Well I hate math! (I haven't always hated it but this teacher just wants us to understand everything right away and make billions of exercises and she never really explains anything so I feel sick when I think about it!!!). So I really hate math now! And I LOVE piano and music!!!! And I don't think it's fair that if you hate music you just don't have to do it and if you hate math you HAVE TO do it anyway cause otherwise you can't even finish school!!! oh well  life is just not fair 

[nanabush]

A few of my friends who are in chemistry/engineering/etc try to approach music too mathematically.  It frustrates me to no end how they instantly say "this is stupid" after finding a strange piece of information like sharps or flats.  (This is when I'm randomly showing them stuff to try out on the piano).  My dad's a doctor and can't find middle C if it was glowing in front of him.  What you consider 'hard' in chemistry and physics and all that stuff is clearly no match for music  ... i'm joking there, but the two subjects are in completely different domains of thinking.  If you have a PhD in every type of science, that doesn't mean that music will be a walk in the park.

[dss62467]

I just reread your post with more attention and see now your problem isn't with hating the piano, it's with not wanting to hurt your instructor's feelings because you hate the piano.   I think if you just explain that now you've tried it, you realize it isn't the right thing for you, (s)he will understand.   After all, if you're THAT bad, it probably will hurt her more having to listen to you.  ha ha.   

[keyboardclass]

Years ago when I was in college I fretted all summer about telling my teacher I wanted to switch teachers (I didn't think much of her approach).  Come October she fired me!

[scottmcc]

I hated p-chem, but I still managed to make it through.  I worked harder for that stupid c than any other grade I got in college, and that was the lowest grade I ever got--for the most part I was an A student.  and I'm pretty sure that if I sat down with the equations today (10 years later) I could at least make it part-way through the more important ones like the particle in a box.

anyway, my point is, you may hate the piano at this point, but have you really given it a fair chance?  it takes (in my estimation) about a year before you really start making music at all. 

but if it is indeed a question of not hurting your teacher's feelings, I wouldn't concern myself with that much.  have a frank and professional discussion, and then move on.  if they get hurt, then they probably are part of the problem.

[jcabraham]

It took months for the idea of stoichiometry to sink in. I thought I would never get it. But once I got it, chemistry became one of my best subjects.

The same was true with flying. For weeks it seems as if there are too many things to juggle to land a plane, but at some point, it just clicks, and from then on you never forget.

JCA