First recital today at age 48--need direction for how to continue

[musicophilia1962]

I'm 48 and began lessons 2 1/2 years ago.  I used to play flute and had some familiarity with piano, but nothing very formal.  Today was the first recital I've participated in, and it didn't go all too well.

I never actually considered playing in front of other people when I began.  It was for myself, to express things and feel good in a particular sort of way.  Well today did not feel good.

I can have something totally memorized, but it's largely muscle memory that can disappear when I think about it under stress.  Once it's memorized, I have trouble reading the music--it sort of translates to the keys and certain cues.

The keys on the piano today, for lack of better description, looked "out of order" at times.  I was petrified.  Now I'm sad.

I want to beat this and figure out how to learn at this age.  There's a way, even if it isn't the same as when I was a kid. 

I practice quite a bit really.  But how do I do that effectively and beat down the lack of confidence and get more of a sense of fun?  The piece today was Debussy's "Reverie."  I was getting it, and then it fell apart in the last day or two.

Any constructive suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks.
Nora

[keyboardclass]

Hey, no worries.  It's funny I've had all those problems.  The only answer if you really want to play in front of people is to learn your harmony.  Your intellect is fairly untouched by stage fright - no matter how nervous you get you'll still remember the chord progression.

[lipatti_ro]

I have the exact same problems. I am 35 and started 1 year ago.

It would be great if someone could point us in the right direction, with a few details, if possible...

[birba]

First of all, you have to ask yourself if it's important for you to perform in front of others.  I, personally, think that even if you say you want to learn only for yourself, for your own gratification, etc. etc. etc. there's always a desire (often only subconsciously)  to play for someone else.  It's natural - it's communicating, which is what music is all about.  So, if you want to continue, and want to play for others, you just have to get used to the panic.  And this is the main problem for amateur pianists.  Who do you play for? and how many times does the occasion arise?
I'm certainly not a professional concert pianist and the occasions for performing are few and far between. So I have to create my own little stage-fright moments to prepare for those few times when I do perform.  One way is to call on those faithful friends who see us through thick and thin. Prepare a little musical gathering.  Or video-tape yourself.  That's what I do.  When you think you've got the piece down flat, tape it.  You'll be surprised at the results.
Muscle memory is very important.  That's what gets us through those first petrifying moments.  But you also need the analytic memory, the visual memory, the audio memory, etc.   And you're right.  It's impossible to read with the music in a concert after you've learned it by memory.  Or rather, it's impossible to do at the drop of the hat.  You have to practise it at home with the music.
But I have to congratulate you on learning the reverie after only 2 and half years of lessons.  And to perform it in front of an audience is even more commendable!!  So don't berate yourself!  Remember:  everyone suffers from stage-fright.  Even great pianists.  So don't think you're ever going to be able to play a piece anxiety-free!  You just have to learn to live with it!

[rmbarbosa]

When I prepare a piece, first I read it with its sheet music, but I dont play it. I memorise it, then I "sing"  the right hand alone, the left hand alone, then in my mind I can ear it and understand its structure. I use visual memory also. Only when I "see" and "ear" the music in my mind I sit in front of the piano. Then, I play the most dificult bars, sometimes 100 x, untill I`m satisfied, i.e., when I can play exactly how I "play" that music in my mind. In the other hand, when I`m playing one bar, I`m also thinking in a lot of the next bars, I know exactly what and how I go to play them. When I play in public, it doesnt matter for me if I play with or without mistakes.My concern is to offer beauty and art, make the others feel what I feel, so I`m stay so imbebed in "my" music that all the other things dont matter. Yes, people is there, but ... MUSIC is there also. And make MUSIC, that is the only important thing. And - "helas" - sometimes I forget I`m playing in public and, when I finish, it`s something like "oh, you were here? thank you..."
My English is uggly, I must apologize. But this is my way to get no nerves, when I play.

[birba]

That's like the perfect way to do it!!!  

[doryanne]

Very useful topic! I have the same problem, you would not believe how my hands were trembling even when I was videotaping myself  Now my teacher insists me on playing at the recital for Christmas and I am so nervous only thinking about it!
Birba and rmbarbosa, very useful advices, thank you! I will try to apply.

[rmbarbosa]

Doryanne, there`s a very important thing I forgot yesterday: the last time you play before your piano lesson or your recital, you must play the piece slow, not fast or faster. Many students and players think that they will be better prepared if they can play faster than the real time, before they play to a teacher or in public. This only can carry mistakes during your public performance. Give time to your brain to "learn" what you want to do. You"ll see that playing slow before is the best way to play without mistakes after.
Best wishes
rui

[musicophilia1962]

I appreciate the help from everyone.  I will try these pieces of advice.  

I think I made two real mistakes with the recital.  One is that I should have found something more simple just to have a success in the bag.  The other is that I was only just playing the piece decently all the way through at home.  It was still mostly OK in front of my teacher.  But it wasn't solid.  It just wasn't ready.

I like the taping idea and will do that.  I get nervous just with that! So maybe it will help getting me used to not caring.  I also like the idea of sorting out the more difficult passages.  Someone else suggested starting with the end of a piece in order to see where it's going.  And all the other things to become familiar: knowing the progression, knowing the left hand structures.  All great advice.  

Thank you!

Does anyone have any particular advice on the difference there is in learning as an adult?  Children are more facile, I understand that.  But they're also pretty fearless and often think everything they do is just terrific--and as an adult I feel a need to accelerate the progress.  My teacher seems to think that I'm at some disadvantage for already having heard most of the pieces.  I know how they're "supposed" to sound, and so I have to try harder to slow it down enough to let my fingers catch up with my head.

[rmbarbosa]

"My teacher seems to think that I am in some disavantage...". If he thinks that, he isnt so good like that... Before playing something, I do ear a lot of great pianists performings, and I try to "feel" and understand how and why they play in that manner and not in another manner. I "sing" in my mind a musical phrase played by Horowitz, then by Rubinstein, then by Maria João Pires, etc...etc...etc... this is "mental playing" also. I "feel their touch, their tone, their phrasing... then, I can play with my own "feeling". I think adults have a great advantage: the experience of life. MUSIC is life. In youtube, there are a lot of little boys and girls playing a lot of musics and they believe they are amazing but... sometimes they seem like little monkeys... they move their fingers, they make much noise but they dont PLAY MUSIC. Because they cant understand what they are playing. Perhaps I`m wrong, but this is what I do believe. 

[doryanne]

rmbarbosa, it is true, I have the tendency to speed up a lot, this is because I want to play the piece exactly as I hear it, if not even faster  I am aware I am wrong here so I will do as you say before the recital when I practice.

musicophilia1962, it is true, my piano teacher told me I should pick a piece that a know very well, it doesn't have the most difficult one that I still need to work on. If you know well your piece and you know that there aren't passages where you feel insecure, then you will be more relaxed and the music will flow.... 

[musicophilia1962]

I think the disadvantage is that it's easy to rush trying to get a piece where it needs to be.  I do like having it in my head, and I think it helps the "music" part of it.  I'll try to keep faith that slowing down and working out the rough spots ahead is temporary.

I do like the advantage of being able to include expression rather quickly once the piece is there technically.

And I constantly have the pieces I'm working on in my head.  Every now and then, I notice them playing.

Thanks for all the input.

[jono1]

I used to have the same problem and felt quite desperate after fluffing my pieces  in a couple of concerts that my teacher put on for around 50 people,mainly friends and family.  However several months ago I was introduced to a meditation class by a violinist friend.  I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done.  I'm now getting to the stage that I can experience total concentration and just blot everything else out.  So much so that I am playing Chopin at a charity concert next month in front of 700 people and whilst I will be scared I feel I can now control it.  Something that I could never had imagined before.

[vandermozart3]

When I prepare a piece, first I read it with its sheet music, but I dont play it. I memorise it, then I "sing"  the right hand alone, the left hand alone, then in my mind I can ear it and understand its structure. I use visual memory also. Only when I "see" and "ear" the music in my mind I sit in front of the piano. Then, I play the most dificult bars, sometimes 100 x, untill I`m satisfied, i.e., when I can play exactly how I "play" that music in my mind. In the other hand, when I`m playing one bar, I`m also thinking in a lot of the next bars, I know exactly what and how I go to play them. When I play in public, it doesnt matter for me if I play with or without mistakes.My concern is to offer beauty and art, make the others feel what I feel, so I`m stay so imbebed in "my" music that all the other things dont matter. Yes, people is there, but ... MUSIC is there also. And make MUSIC, that is the only important thing. And - "helas" - sometimes I forget I`m playing in public and, when I finish, it`s something like "oh, you were here? thank you..."
My English is uggly, I must apologize. But this is my way to get no nerves, when I play.

I didn't even notice that you weren't a native English speaker! You write like anyone else! Well done

[musicophilia1962]

I used to have the same problem and felt quite desperate after fluffing my pieces  in a couple of concerts that my teacher put on for around 50 people,mainly friends and family.  However several months ago I was introduced to a meditation class by a violinist friend.  I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done.  I'm now getting to the stage that I can experience total concentration and just blot everything else out.  So much so that I am playing Chopin at a charity concert next month in front of 700 people and whilst I will be scared I feel I can now control it.  Something that I could never had imagined before.

I work at a university where there is a "mindfulness meditation" group.  I didn't take it all that seriously before and stopped going, but maybe I could benefit from it. 

Good luck with Chopin!

[musicophilia1962]

I had my first lesson after the recital today.  I am a little confused by my teacher.  She reminded me that I chose "Reverie" to work on and for the recital.  yes.  I began working on it after I decided I wasn't ready for "Clair de Lune," which I began after my teacher mentioned it (I never brought it up because I thought she'd be very tired of it).  But at some point, she mentioned that "Reverie" is an easier piece than Grieg's "To Spring," which she introduced to me in my first year of lessons--I played it at my first Piano Guild audition, just less than a year after beginning lessons (not terrifically, but I got a good score, all things considered). 

I kept quiet, but at least it seems this little recital mishap will change things.  I have wanted to play big pieces, yes--can't help feeling so very behind--but I have also wanted but perhaps not clearly conveyed that I want to do easier pieces and really get them down.  I think there's a lot one can do with them musically that would still take some work.

If anyone has suggestions of pieces, I'd love to know.  I'm wondering what good young players play in recitals at, say, 3 to 4 years of lessons.  I've been in about 2 1/2 years.