Quitting Piano

[abcdef123]

Should I quit the piano? I live with my mum and sister, they both aren't supportive of me playing the piano and often find it as noise. My sister plays the piano daily because she is forced by my mum to do so. She bangs the piano and I told her not to do so (I am of higher "grade" than her) but she refuses to listen.

Sometimes when she uses the metronome (I bought it), she just keeps it on and continues to "bang" the piano with her exam pieces. I feel really bad.

Relatives often compliment me for the playing but when I play they would call me to "shut up" and shout at me telling me that its so noisy and they want to watch television. I think this piano noise thing has cause me to hate my family.

I feel like quitting the piano or stop playing at home. Maybe I should start playing somewhere else instead. I do not study in a music school so I don't have free practice rooms. Any suggestions?

[jimbo320]

Hi ABC.
I don't know if you can do this but an electric portable keyboard would be my suggestion. I'm teaching myself and my wife feels the same way sometimes about it not sounding like music. So I play with the headphones on now. She can't hear what I'm doing but I can.
I'm playing a Yamaha PSR but there's lots to choose from ranging in size, abilities, and price. Check out this site, it's where I got mine... https://www.musiciansfriend.com/

Hope this helps, Jimbo

[stevebob]

Giving advice to anyone in an unsympathetic family situation is tricky.  It might help to know your age and how long you anticipate living under the same roof with your mother and sister.  If it’s going to be a while, I recommend that you (1) try to get a digital piano with headphones so that you can practice silently, and (2) ignore your sister’s practice completely.  If you can possibly arrange to practice elsewhere, then you should definitely explore that.

One way or another, you’re unlikely to be stuck in this situation forever—so don’t even consider quitting piano if you feel that you would regret it in the future.  As tough as it may be to live with the tension that currently surrounds the issue, you shouldn’t let your family come between you and an activity you love.

[abcdef123]

I have got a PSR Keyboard but that doesn't satisfy me. And I normally play Liszt, Chopin, Beethove, or Schumann and I dont think I could stand a keyboard. Do you have any suggestions if I could practice somewhere else?

I often feel bad when people tell me that its very noisy as I feel that they have insulted the great composers.

I might be moving to another country in a year or so. What I have in mind now is to find somewhere else with a piano to practice.

[stevebob]

Was anything you read here supportive or helpful?  A couple of us made an effort to offer some advice, and it would be nice to know if it was of any value to you.

[jimbo320]

ABC.
The keyboard idea is a good workaround for somebody else hearing because of using headphones. At first you didn't mention that you have a PSR, and if so, why haven't you tried headphones?
If the PSR dose not do it for you, why? Is it the action? I know it can't be the sound. If you require heavier keys than upgrade to a CP5, CP70, or one that will please you. A friend of mine has a Motif that I like a lot. The keys are heavier but now we're talking big bucks. Check out the website I gave you and shop around.

Jimbo

[abcdef123]

Thanks for all the replies.   All your replies have made me feel much better! Thanks for the links.
About the keyboard, I am very demanding.. I am not even satisfied with my Yamaha piano that is about a year old. I don't like the keys of my keyboard, the sound..
Also it wouldn't be a good idea for me to get a new keyboard as I am moving off to another country in a year or so.
I haven't played the piano for a week now and that seems really long to me because I used to do it everyday. I think my greatest concern is to be able to practice somewhere else. Do you guys have any suggestions?
Also I am practicing hanon, scales and stuff so a keyboard wouldn't really work for me..

[jimbo320]

I'm sorry but I'm a little confused as to why a keyboard won't do for any kind of scale or even playing Hanon. If you look around you'll find slight different sounds in different boards. For the price and portability you can't beat em. If you got the bucks, you can find a keyboard that  sounds and feels exactly like a grand. Close your eyes and you wouldn't know the difference. Just look around.

Musically, Jimbo

P.S. Where you moving to?

[abcdef123]

The keys of keyboards are not really the same like a piano and as I said I would be moving to another country and I dont think I would be able to bring the keyboard there.

I was born in UK, lived 7 years there then moved to Singapore for education, I'm currently 15, moving back after my secondary education.

[jimbo320]

Before moving to the UK for education, have you seen what's happening there?

[abcdef123]

No.. not really. I go there once a year to visit my family. There seems to be more to your question :O Please enlighten me..

[nadia goh]

hi abcdef. i also have the same problem as my family likes to complain that the sound of the piano is noise! i hate it when they keep complaining while i'm practising. it distracts me emotionally. what's more, the pedals of my piano are not functioning as it is an old piano. i don't have enough money to fix them in the meantime so, i can't use the soft pedal to soften the sound.. 

[mnmleung]

Our piano was in the middle of our apartment in Hong Kong.  I remember all the doors to every room closing as soon as I started to practice.  Being the eldest of three, I do not recall giving much real help to my younger brother and sister in my teenage years.  I recall telling them things were wrong, and showing them how to do them "correctly".  It wasn't until later that I found out I probably put them off: and that they might have felt pressure I never experienced before (because I was the eldest, and there was any older sibling to compare against).  So in some ways I think I can relate to what you are going through.  Except you are probably a far better pianist ...

I played in a trio with a violinist and a cellist around that time, and I was often told I was too loud.  I could have taken that as helpful advice, and tried toning down; but most of the time I would start playing softer, and then bring the volume right back to when I started.  I guess I did not like being told what to do ...  Playing on a grand piano in a small room was not helping either.

On occasions when we all talked about the music and what kind of effect we wanted to achieve, I normally would try (willingly, not begrudgingly) and play with a bit more "sensitivity" ... : )

I had fun playing four hand music with friends.  Perhaps you could suggest learning / playing something together with her.  If could be for a particular occasion (something to work towards).  As you start to play with dynamic contrast, she may very well follow ...  Similarly about playing in time ... laugh about the mishaps.  Or even make a video of them just for fun.  

The main idea is for both of you to have fun with the music, work at something together as opposed to risking putting her on the defensive (when really you are trying to be helpful, but she may not have the maturity to not take it personally).  

I am not sure if this helps at all but good luck anyway.

[mnmleung]

Regarding Hanon and scales, I have to admit I can only take about 5 minutes of listening to the stuff.  Any duration longer, I have to leave ...

Now, my teacher told me once that I was not playing some passages evenly.  He gently shut the keyboard lid and asked me to tap out / play out the passage.  It was then blindingly obvious that he was dead right: I was not even in attack, or even in time!  So I have taken to doing some form of practice away from the piano ... I am not advocating you do the same with your Hanon and scales, but the repetitive nature of some of these things can be hard to take, and perhaps you can "schedule" so there variety for the unwilling listeners.

PS You can even jokingly let your mum and sister know that you are being considerate and really playing some of the more repetitive stuff on the lid.  They may find it amusing and appreciate it ...  

But then again, they may get worried, and dial some men in white to take you away to a padded cell ...

[jimbo320]

ABC,
If I get in to it further I'll start getting political and this is not the place. My opinion of the uk education system is going to be the same problem over here.
Just keep an open mind.,....

Jimbo

[abcdef123]

A big thanks to all who have replied and shared their stories! I feel really better now. 
I will continue with the piano and completely ignored my sister's practice HAHA!
Thanks for all the valuble replies! 

[pollydendy]

you could also move your piano, or practice at a local church as well.
I play with a trio/quartet, and in a small room.  though the piano there is a small one, the sound was overwhelming the other instruments, so the owner dropped the back  of the instrument out, and added some form of insulation, then replaced the back....I think it is cardboard in there now!  Anyway, it worked and it is better for the blend of instruments.  You could also try a blanket over the top and back.  It is hard when your only area is in the main living area and you have to compete with television, so maybe you could move it to a hallway or another room with  more privacy. 
 Don't quit.
 

[azupkatalina]

It seems that I felt for you when I read the title "Quitting Piano." Well, if you really love playing the piano and if you really love music, I don't think quitting the piano would be the best solution to solve all the intertwining problems. Even if you decided to quit the piano, you won't be able to do it if you really love the piano. Believe me, I have experienced that. When I started studying in college I had to move out of town, which also means there wouldn't be any piano anymore (i live in a dorm). It saddened me for a very, very long time. I told myself to quit... I didn't play for five months. But then again, I don't think quitting solved anything. It worsened my longing for music. Now, once in a while I do play the piano. Besides, as long as you ENJOY what you're doing there's nothing wrong with it. And if you really love the piano, you'll find a way to play not just for your family, but for your self. =)

Sorry, I don't know if this made any sense. Try watching "August Rush" the movie. It's really a good movie to watch. =)) Don't quit.

[gradedpiano]

Buy some headphones

[gyzzzmo]

digital or silenced piano with headphones.
Or just murder your family.

[pianist1976]

I quit smoking five years ago and that was one of the best decisions I took in my life because it was damaging in every sense. But quitting music, quitting piano! OMG! Sorry, that's not computable. So I really encourage you to continue and fight the difficulties. If you need to study in a digital piano with headphones, go ahead. Yes, it's not the same as a real wood piano but it's far better than not playing at all. I have some real virtuoso friends who must rehearse in digitals because of many reasons. We humans have an extraordinary adaptation ability and a good musician can obtain a good profit of a not so good piano.

Do everything you must do (being legal, of course) but never quit piano 

[countrymath]

Just murder your family.

[abcdef123]

Please don't teach me what you did.

[abcdef123]

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for the positive replies!

[angierc]

Why don't you try a silent piano?? it might be quite troublesome to get one, but it's useful in your case. Usually piano factories can remodel your Yamaha piano into a silent piano.. It's just like the keyboard mentioned before, you can listen to your own playing using headphones, without disturbing others..

[countrymath]

Please don't teach me what you did.

Well, it worked for me.

[jimbo320]

Just what exactly worked for you Countrymath?

[countrymath]

Just what exactly worked for you Countrymath?

Murdering my family.

[abcdef123]

Did you just come out of jail? I hope you were doing fine.

[countrymath]

Did you just come out of jail? I hope you were doing fine.

Yup, im fine, thanks. Now i'm home alone to play whenever (does this word exists?) i want.

Btw, i think everyday on quiting piano too. I plan to be professional keyboardist, but i dont see any progress from 6 months.

[gyzzzmo]

People with 'professional keyboardist' wishes should try killing themselves by definition. So forget about your family

[countrymath]

People with 'professional keyboardist' wishes should try killing themselves by definition.

I tried it already.

[jimbo320]

Whatcha got against keyboardist Gizzy?

[abcdef123]

Murdering your family is not a bad idea if it was legal.

[becky8898]

Hi ABCetc.  I finding acting like a prima Donna or a pregnant dog, crying alot and throwing things works well for me to get my way. I just go threw life assuming the most important thing in the universere is my piano playing.  If your a guy there most be some kind of arrogant your better than everyone else kind of attitude you can try. And as far as instruments go , if your going to be a professional or even an amateur who likes to play  where ever you might, there are going to be some real pieces of garbage pianos your going to have to play on. Get used to the idea that you just cant play on a great instrument all the time.  As far as finding a place to play.  Go to schools in your area, Find out. Go to the music stores. Go to the Churches. Get creative. 

Anyway give it your best, you might suprise yourself. 

Cheers, Becky

[jimbo320]

Trade your PSR in for a CP5. It's a little pricey but you'll be quit surprised. A CP5, a small amp and headphones would do the trick....