failure

[doryanne]

Last Sunday I had my first recital and it was failure:  I started playing, I made a mistake and continued but could not concentrate anymore and the song was ruined and I just stopped. I addressed to the public (doesn't matter what I said) and left the "stage".
Now if you look at this, it is not big deal, the public were some parents and their kids, who applauded and probably appreciated my attempt. In spite of this, the experience affected me more than I like to admit and I wonder why. I never really wanted to play in public, but my teacher insisted and I accepted though I didn't feel ready. Now I make great efforts to overcome this unpleasant event if my good sense tells me it is not a disaster and I really don't have to let this throw a shadow over my pleasure and confidence in learning this instrument.
Why the great disappointment then? Probably the frustration: you know you can play nicely a piece, you worked hard for it and you cannot share this with others.
As for playing in public, I don't feel like trying again soon.

[mnmleung]

Thanks for sharing.  Congratulations on having a go at your first recital. 

You mentioned you did not feel ready.  For me it can be unnerving, feeling under-prepared.  You have already learnt some useful lessons: mishaps tell us which parts needs work on, and I think that is goodness. 

I recently played a piece for the first time to a "friendly" public.  It went a bit pear shaped, and I felt the need to take a little pause, mutter an apology to the (absent and dead) composer, and continue playing.  Luckily I recorded the performance and on listening back, I learnt more about how it went, and I now have a list of things to work on.

Keep at it.  You have already given your first recital and come away with some useful pointers / lessons.  For your next one, perhaps you can include some items where you collaborate with other performers (a singer, or some piano duet).  I found having a page turner or accompanying someone else have calming effect on me.  Have fun and all the best !  Ming

[fleetfingers]

It takes a lot of courage to get up in front of an audience and play. I completely understand your desire to stay away from the stage after this experience, but you should do the opposite. Find more opportunities to perform - not just formally, but playing for family and friends at home - and you will learn how to cope with making mistakes. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to play it perfectly in recital.

Performance is an important element of learning to play an instrument, so keep trying! Your teacher should be able to give you some helpful tips for performing.

[lipatti_ro]

Today I had my second appearance in public.
I am 35 and I'm in second year of learning the piano.
The recital was in a place where I used to attend to classical music concerts. This made it even more difficult. And the audience was even bigger than last year (my first appearance).
Well, I have to say that I made mistakes again. I was so nervous that I simply could not control my shaking hands. But, somewhow, in spite of mistakes, I got through it.
Tommorrow I have another "appearace" and I hope it will be better.
Anyway, even though I never thought that I will play for somebody else than myself and my family, I feel that appearing before larger audiences is helpful.
Don't give up. Try to get used to it.

[faa2010]

Hi, I know how does it feel when you have worked so hard and when you are in fron of the public, the play doesn't go as you wanted: the piece with mistakes, stop for a moment and play it again.

I played piano since 2002, and until now, I had 4 recitals.  To be honest, my first 3 recitals weren't unflawless, when I did a mistake, I stopped and then restart where I could remember.

The last one was great for me, in my point of view, I didn't stop and continue the pieces I played.

I discovered that everybody is human, and even the best pianists do mistakes without knowing it, because they also learned how to disguise the mistakes.

Also, there are reasons beyond your control of why you fail. These are some of them with one solution:

- You are not used to the scenario where you play (try to do an appointment to practice there one or two days before the recital)

- It's a different piano (same solution as above, if not, then search for a similar piano to practice your pieces there)

- You slippered in a note (don't mind about it and go on)

- There isn't too much public (then you must be relax, the less people, the better)

- There is too much public (don't mind about it, imagine that you are alone playing as if you are practicing the piece)

- The recital was postponed (then you'll have more time to practice)

- The recital was changed to an earlier time than it was supposed to be (if you have practiced a lot, then you don't have to worry)

Also, part of training your mind is going to someone's recital before so you can not only learn from the pianist's behaviour, also from the public's. So try to go to many recitals as you can days before yours.

And I agree with the ones who said that you can do private recitals to your close ones and that doing recitals has to encourage you to do more.

[jimbo320]

Hi Doryanne,
Look at it this way. How many people don't even give it a go!
Every time you play you learn something. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. The key is knowing that you gave it a shot. No biggie, just do better next time.
Making music comes from the soul. Let it soar like a free bird in flight. Copying someone else has the pressure of trying to sound like someone else. Play the piece but as you.
Give that a try, you might be amazed at the outcome.....

Musically, Jimbo

[cuckoo]

I started playing, I made a mistake and continued but could not concentrate anymore and the song was ruined and I just stopped. 

I had the same feeling long time ago and it was very discouraging and upsetting.  It's stage freight I think!  That's why I am always envy, envy, envy those professionals who never made any mistakes, succeed every time.  Why is it that playing piano in public is so intimidating?  Quite honestly, I actually don't get so scared singing or giving presentations even in front of big crowds!!  Any insightful thoughts to share?

[brogers70]

Last Sunday I had my first recital and it was failure:  I started playing, I made a mistake and continued but could not concentrate anymore and the song was ruined and I just stopped. I addressed to the public (doesn't matter what I said) and left the "stage".
.....As for playing in public, I don't feel like trying again soon.

Others have given you good advice. I'd just say that five minutes after the recital was over 99% of people where will have forgotten your problem. Two days later they will all have forgotten. If you do perform again (which I think you could) nobody but you will remember anything about your last recital. They're all thinking about something else.

Also, even the greats have trouble. I was at a concert by the great guitarist Andres Segovia - he got tangled up in a Bach fugue and had to start all over again. Take a deep breath and keep going.

[jimbo320]

As I was reading all the replies I just remembered once when I was playing in my first group as a keyboard player I messed up the beginning of a song which we were doing. The first trumpet player realized it and turned to me and gave me a look of wonder. He was waiting for his key to come in but his stare only made the pressure worse. The only thing I could do was recover the song but I had a moment of forgetfulness and couldn't remember the notes. So I kept playing chords and triplets around the keyboard trying to find the right notes and it turned out to be a good solo that everybody thought sounded great. Ha ha ha, so I got away with it. Well, it was funny to me....

Jimbo

[doryanne]

Hi All,
Thank you for your replies and encouragements.
As I read your messages I realized that the attempt was more unpleasant as I, unlike most of you, wasn't able to stay in tune. After making the first mistake, probably I was so confused that I could not actually press the correct keys, I was playing totally out of tune.  This is the reason I stopped: I was massacring the song 
Besides, I have another suspicion: the piece was too...fast for a first recital (River Flows in You by Yiruma) even if not too fast to play home when you are calm and relax.
Oh, well, it is no point to continue analysing this anymore. The important thing is that I know what I have to do before trying to perform in public again.
Thank you, all, again!

[jimbo320]

I think 'Angel Eyes' by Jim Brickman would be a good recital song.....
But that's me.....

Jimbo

[becky8898]

Hi Dory.  Sorry to hear about your recital trouble. That really blows. Heres what I do, with my pieces. First I remember that 99 pct of the mistakes i might make are way beyond the audiences ability to hear. Generally most adults arent to bright, and most kids dont care.  Second, When i learn a piece I try and have points in it where I can start it from scratch. For me that is usually every 3 seconds of playing time.  I practice starting the piece from each one of those points.

Best of luck Becky

[dss62467]

I've played in many recitals when I was a kid, and what always helped me was to put a little lightness into it.  I know that if you make a mistake, you're supposed to pretend it didn't happen and move on.  Most people (i.e. those who don't play) won't even notice it.... but I tend to make a joke out of it.   Everyone there is on your side.   

I had my first recital performance in 26 years this past spring.  My instructor doesn't require his adult students to perform, but he and I had been working on a piano/violin duet and I'm his most advanced adult student (no big accomplishment there, most of them are beginners and don't practice).   I did it to help my daughter feel comfortable performing - this was her 2nd recital.  Sort of a "if Mom performs and messes up, and the world doesn't end, it won't end if I mess up".  Did I make mistakes - you bet I did.  But nobody cared.   She actually did better than I did.  ha ha

I've lost my place during performances, had my fingers halt during a chromatic scale, slapped the keys because I was frustrated that my fingers halted during said chromatic scale , who cares?  It's not like you're playing with the philharmonic, right? 

I do have to admit, though, that when I was 16 and in my last year of lessons during my first life as a piano student, I was very displeased with my instructor for making me play a piece that I didn't really like and didn't feel I played well.  I was angry that I couldn't choose which piece I'd play myself, which would have been another piece.... so I blew off the recital altogether.   He was SO mad at me because I was his only advanced student.  We never spoke again.  And I think it may have been a big reason I quit playing.

Don't let it affect you.  Every player messes up from time to time during a recital.  The really good ones learn how to cover it up so nobody notices.  I'm not one of them, so I just pretend it doesn't bother me and that I think it's funny.   We all wish for a flawless performance and I think that the more you concentrate on making it flawless, the less likely you'll be to achieve it.

[mcdiddy1]

Theres a good quote i heard some where

Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart.

I often tell piano students that getting the result you want at a recital takes place before you even start. You should-learn and
memorize the piece weeks before you play it,
practice in front of others and under pressure,
warm-up/ practice the piece on the piano before you play,
get rest, practice relaxation breathing techniques to combat stage fright and nerves.

 Playing in front of people is a different challenge and is a skill that should be learned and it needs to be practice. One or two times a year is just not enough.

Recitals are just like the ice scating. It really is forgivable to have an error because the audience is rooting for you. If you think about the skaters that fall but still end up winning medals because of how they finished. It takes mental thoughness to have an error and then kick into overdrive and not allow yourself to dwell on the mistake. What a great learning experience for you and a great life lesson is in there.