... I will only teach her daughter if she wanted to learn and that she should never make her practice or have any expectations. I encouraged the mom to let her play whatever she wants at the piano at home during the week. She agrees to do that, but struggles sometimes with expectations and cannot help but push her daughter to play the pieces she's learning in lessons.
With young children you can often use reverse psychology to easily change their opinion over things. How you do it needs to be personalized for the individual child but certainly well chosen words can change a child's view on things very easily since they really have not much experience with regards to discipline. I think at the early childhood years like 3-6 you can impress upon the student really the foundations for proper discipline. It also depends upon how the parents raise their child, some parents are very "soft" and submissive to their childrens needs, in this case you have to usually do the same or the child will be freaked out in the lesson. You can slowly edge in discipline into them but if their every day life at home they can get away with what they like, then you really wont have much luck unless you have daily lessons.
Parents who are strict with their children, it will often benefit the student if you also have the same strictness in lessons. Guide them through difficult tasks, challenge them and set them up for how to practice every day. Involve the parents in detail in their childs study habits and ensure that they know how to actively help them and encourage them.
I often have to parents aside and discussed how it would be effective to teach their young child. Often I tell the parents who are very soft with their children that if the child works without discipline and without consistency their progress will be slow (which is ok, but you won't get your moneys worth out of the lesson then), also their learning habits for school will generally follow the same path. I like the parents to realize that no matter what task their child undertakes, whether it be music, family interaction, house duties, daily routine duties etc etc, it reflects how they would do other things in their life. So if a young child learns piano and get frustrated and angry and does not want to practice when things gets difficult, other things in their life also will be viewed in similar light. For example, if they have difficult relationship with their siblings or parents they are unable to deal with it effectively. If the student is excessively shy and introverted during a piano lesson, often they are the same in other situations. Some parents simply do not have the discipline or time themselves to ensure their children work consistently and this is fair enough because when you live with someone 24/7 things are not as easy as they seem! But it only gets more difficult as they get older and many parents will admit to this.
So as teachers we have a critical task when dealing with young children and it is so important that unfortunately many young minds are ruined by bad teachers and thus really their whole life might be stunted because of it! It is a frightening fact, but teachers really can ruin a young students progress in life, it is not something that is really discussed enough within teaching circles/institutions. I think being too hard on a student is always wrong, but also being too soft is equally as wrong. Young children should first and foremost enjoy learning, it should be fun with lots of games, but at the same time they should understand that there are some times where we need to stop having fun and do a little work. This is a critical step in their understanding of discipline and something I think needs to be taught as early as possible.
One thing I noticed with one of my young students is that the parent would always tie their shoe laces, put on their socks etc. I said to this student, I think that you are a big boy and you can put them on yourself can't you? He just smiled at me shyly, so I asked him to show me how well he can tie his laces. So we spent the first few minutes watching him attempt to tie his laces. He did it very well and I said he can do that all the time without mums help and next time it would be fun to show mum how clever you are! Then I ask him if he made his bed neat and tidy after he finished sleeping and encouraged him to take responsibility to make his own bed. I mentioned to his mum that I wanted him to do these tasks which she really understood how it connected with the other things he did. In music he had to do a lot on his own, so to practice doing these activities he had to make changes in his every day living.
I found that this indirect teaching helped the young minds learning on the macroscopic level. Sometimes a tutor can find something out about a young children lifestyle and aim for development in those areas which often have much greater effect on the young minds development than developing them within a small box (art, science, piano, etc).
Self confidence is something that should be instilled within children as early as possible, there really is no age requirement. Even an infant, if you give them what they want all the time without letting them understand that they will be ok without now and then, then as they grow into a young child these traits can often carry on over. Parents who run to their infants as soon as they cry or make the slightest noise will teach the infant that crying will always get them attention immediately. Parents who let their baby's cry for a little while before going to them often teach the baby to settle themselves down by themselves and not depend on the parent unless they really need it.
Topic: Teaching a 3-Year-Old