In general, the reading needs to be more accurate. The articulation in the opening line is precisely written - staccato notes, quarter notes, and eight notes. Often there is no distinction between your eight and quarter note chords throughout. Look them up again, because often your quarter note chords are way too short! And there is a spot or 2 where you start the crescendo about a bar early. The rit in the first page needs to be more gradual - you slowed down immediately after it is marked. And by the way, the development is marked pp!
After this, you need to start considering a number of timing things - where you can take time, and where you need to be very rhythmically precise. There are a few places where you need to give more time to the rests, and I personally also like to take time in the opening line when the key changes from b minor to a suspended G major.
Anyway, I'm sure you'll work on all these things with your teacher! You seem to have put in quite a bit of work into this, so keep going!