I don't know who Xenakis is, but are you saying I don't genuinely enjoy this kind of music? Isn't that a bit rude? What do I have to gain by lying?
Do you really think that engineering is "objective"? Go learn some philosophy. Nothing is objective. I hate how some people seem to think that science is the answer to all, when human science has so many fallacies it really isn't much better than religion, if any.
I used to hate this kind of sound too. But is it really wrong, is it really incomprehensible to try and find beauty in something that at first might seem repulsive?
Perhaps I can relate to this music because I'm anti-social. People who see me always think I'm extremely arrogant, and don't really want to associate with me. But really, I'm not such a bad person.
I think the beauty of this is trying to find the harmony, trying to find a melody, trying to find something that moves you in such music. I don't care what you intended to do when you played this, it has nothing to me. When I listen to music, the music becomes mine. The sounds, the pauses, the emotions, they're all mine. And so, even if the reason you made this music was shallow, it doesn't have to be to my ears. What I hear is different from what you played, or what you hear.
And when I find parts of a piece that at first sounds horrible, I feel "ah, this music isn't bad afterall". It makes me happy to know that I can like music that may not be good sounding to other people.