Student's parent just requested new teacher...????

[jamie0168]

I've had Josh as a student for almost a year now. He's 9, a fairly good student, etc. His mom is nice, but she has always butted her nose in the lessons more often than most. At the beginning of the semester, she recommended Josh learn (you guessed it!) Fur Elise or Pachelbel's Canon. I explained that those pieces are 1. OVERPLAYED and 2. Above Josh's current playing level.

Anyway, we had a few makeup lessons to do and I had to squeeze them into my schedule and try to do a full hour with Josh. This was harder than it seemed...I found him staring at the clock after the first 30 minutes, sighing repeatedly, and looking very eager for the lesson to be overwith. I didn't want him there if he didn't want to be and wasn't going to pay attention so I let him go early. I sent a text to his mother, explaining we'd makeup for the lost time when we got closer to his recital.

I just found out today that Josh's mom requested he switch teachers for two reasons that she mentioned: 1. She didn't appreciate that the makeup lesson ended early (even though I thoroughly explained the situation!) and 2. She didn't think he was getting enough sight-reading experience.

I can see why she might have thought that because he has his recital piece memorized. Although, I don't completely understand because I just assigned him a new Bagatelle that he had to read to learn...and he did!

So, I'm not sure which attitude to take upon this...is she just a picky ass pregnant dog who I need to forget about? Are there tons of parents who are like this and I should be worrying about losing more students for the same reasons? Do I need to make my lessons more "fun"?

Mind you, I'm not teaching so I can provide a magical musical playground and babysit for half an hour. I'm trying to train serious pianists!

I'm just so offended and confused by this situation!

[kitty on the keys]

Welcome to the club! We all get this mother sooner or later in our course of teaching. You have done NOTHING WRONG!!!!!! The next teacher will go thru the same thing. There is no pleasing a parent like this. The last one that tried to tell me what to do......was dismissed that day. If you do not like my program, find another teacher, I dont think we are a good match.....have a good day...good bye. And if they ask for other teacher names, decline the information and that she is on her own time.....not yours. Most of us interview students and parents before lessons begin so these types of problems wont occur.
    As you finish up the season, look over what you did with your class. What could be better? What was lacking? What would make it more 'fun' and reach my professional objectives.

Kitty on the Keys

[perfect_pitch]

is she just a picky ass pregnant dog who I need to forget about?

Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Definitely Yes!

You get parents of all types. I wouldn't worry about it, if you KNOW you didn't do anything wrong.

If I were you though, on the last lesson - I'd have a little chat to him - check to see that his mother isn't pushing him to do a subject he doesn't want, or maybe playing the music that he doesn't want to play.

[john90]

As a pushy parent, my kid has had a few lessons. It is difficult to see objectively when it is your own kid. You get this dreamy view of how nice it would be if your kid could play Fur Elise, Pachelbel's Canon, and of course Moonlight Sonata. That is just the way it is for some of us. Logic doesn't enter into it, at least not at first. Try not to take it personally.

[lostinidlewonder]

Don't worry about some parents who cannot communicate with you and simply leave and throw their complains not willing to resolve any of it. I have experienced it a couple of times and it is really no skin off my nose! If they don't want to discuss it and simply leave then good luck to them! I am sure you have many other students who are very happy with what you provide them, focus on that, but at the same time you should reassess.

I have faced this misunderstanding a few times with parents, that they wonder why their child cannot sight read fluently what they are learning to play. Communication is very important with all of these parents I talked or wrote to they where satisfied with the response, often the parents just need some idea of how teaching music works, they only can rely on their own ideas otherwise. I've even had parents think that their child does not have to practice at home and lessons with the teacher was enough, can't tell you how many times I've had a parent approach me and say they want lessons then I find out they have no piano at home.....I always ask if they have a piano at home or when they are going to get one before we start talking about lessons

 People need to know that a beginner/intermediate usually have quite poor reading skills (fluently reading levels much lower than their playing ability), that is because they are trying to learn procedure at the piano, once this procedure becomes more familiar then they can notice it in what they read much easier. To try to read procedure you have little experience with is extremely difficult, even for the best pianist in the world.

If you are advanced at the piano, as a teacher you can forget how difficult reading can be. You should imagine that each beginner is trying to read something that is the most difficult thing they have ever tried to read. Imagine if that is what your study was now as an advanced pianist, reading only the most advanced works, it will leave you feeling quite disheartened. So we give the beginner reader confidence by seriously focusing on reading only once they have learned a bunch of pieces which describe the general procedure at the piano or at least prescribe them notation that does not stretch them too far and allows them to play with some fluency.

Ensure that your student however is making baby steps towards learning to read. You should have a small separate lesson covering reading techniques, at least the parents can see some efforts towards reading. What is important is that if your beginner student forgets a note they can work out how to correct it from their sheet music. If they simply do not know how then when their parents ask them to work it out from the sheets and they shrug their shoulders, this might not look good for you as a teacher. All my students can correct themselves, it just takes them a while to work it out, when I teach them they can use me as a short cut to direct where they should read, but when they are alone they have to work it out for themselves, it can seem slow and confusing, but it is VITAL that they go through this procedure themselves, it us part of the foundation of their sight reading skills, we must make sure as teachers to ask our students to correct themselves from the score in a lesson without our help.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't mean to go off-topic, but I was reminded of this:

Pretty much sums up a lot of parents out there in the world.

[mcdiddy1]

Welcome to the club....parents like that come around every so often...you just have to learn how to handle them

First, you should allow your classroom to be an open book and allow for the parents to see everything your doing. Parents want to know a) there child is learning something, b) the teacher can teach, c) things they can do to help their child at home. Nobody likes to be judged but we all do it. The kids judge you, parents judge you, and so do other teachers. You want to be so on top of your game it does not matter who comes in your room. You have a plan and they just happen to witness it.

As much as I hate Fur Elise and Canon in D, there is a place for them because they are recognizable, kids (adults too) love them, and they can be used as a benchmark for level. You have to kind of play mind games with students and parents a little to steer them away from pieces. If the parent insist you teach them and you know it is beyond their level go along with them. Ask them basic questions the would not now such as time signature, grace, notes, rhythm, expression meanings in the music. The minute they say they do not know , suggest a piece or book that would help them understand their goal. Explain they will learn these concepts to help us play the piece that is being forced on us and will return to it shortly. Whether you actually do is up to you but that way they realize they learn the basics so they can play the challenging piece, you are willing to challenge them but want them to be successful, and the parent feels validated because you listened to her and acknowledged her need to be taking seriously ( yes...you have to meet the needs of the parent as well).

Last thing with the make-ups, you want to honor your commitments no matter what. Parents do not want to hear their child has the attention span of gnat. No matter what you say to them, if you let their kid out early, they think your lazy. Sorry but its the truth because changes our they never had to teach a kid for an hour so I feel your pain. If a kid looks bored in anyway, their telling your teaching pace is too slow, your talking too much, or you need to give them an activity. Make them do something active the list goes on...counting, saying note names, playing with eyes closed, echoing, repeating, taping . You want the kid actively involved to keep the attention up and to ensure they understand what to do when they get home.

I am completely convinced serious pianist come from inwardly enjoying music and being able to be successful at it. If you can make them enjoy and be successful you will plant a seed that will continue to grow beyond your knowledge. I have seen many students go from knowing nothing to playing Fur Elise within a couple of months because they love to practice the piano not because they teacher pushed them to practice. With older teens and adults it works to have someone pushing you to get better but with kids you really want to spark their imagination even  if their on the older teir ( 9-10). If you can connect the music to place, a type of sound, an animal they like, a color, and combine them with a parent that helps them find time to practice they blossom and be your best students. T