Thanks Goldentone and Littletune!
You know, I listened back this morning to Castilian Tale and it's strange that I am already learning something unexpected but very important from this process! I was more or less expecting that I would just somewhat "toss" a bunch of little pieces into some abyss of time and sound, that I kind of thought needed filling. And, that it would, in the end, give me a certain form of confidence, like some kind of support within my foundation that I have thought is missing. That all may very well be true!
However, it's also affecting my perception of my overall ability and progress and potential in real time. I went for my little walk this morning after I listened back, and I chewed on some ideas, trying to put my finger on what I was hearing. Part of why I want to post these, aside from a sense of gaining some "performance" experience and filling some gaps, is that for some reason I listen quite a bit more objectively after I have posted. It's like I listen from the standpoint of a listener, and not just myself, because I can imagine that other people have heard it and I can imagine what other people might be hearing.
I think the most important for me realization is in hearing why I indeed want/need to be playing the pieces I am currently working on in my current professional program. I guess some part of me believed I was cheating because I haven't had a usual musical/pianistic route in my learning, and maybe I indeed need these smaller steps to help me bridge the gaps. But, the fact is, I can actually hear (and also personally know) that I've just got much more inside of me than these little pieces could ever allow me to express. I actually need bigger pieces and I can actually hear that as though I am listening to somebody else, but it's like my ear can bridge what I feel inside as needing to be expressed, with what I can objectively hear as a bigger potential. So, I have realized that I actually belong where I am at in my current professional repertoire! Of course, that's not a stagnate place and I think it's growing and maybe bigger steps are starting to be on the horizon, too! But, I mean, I actually feel a sense of belonging that I've never felt before!
I think it's important that I persist with this project, but I can already sense it may need to grow into something more. But, I still have a desire to play, record, and post those that I put in my original list (in the other thread). I think there is more to this than one realization!
Anyway, thanks for listening, and for your comments

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