Need help getting back to playing seriously again!

[pianissimo123]

To everyone,
I need advice on how I can go about playing music seriously again.
What helps you all to stay motivated?
I find  I struggle with depression It SUCKS, so like I have things that I would love to do, (I could be planning theory homework or a wonderful piano practice all day) but then I just cant do them because I feel paralyzed by this over overwhelming depression . So sometimes I find myself sitting in my chair doing absolutely nothing because of it! And I certainly don't want it to control my life or make me stop playing my music for that matter.
What helps you all? Does any one here struggle with anxiety/depression? Do you have any suggestions for getting back to playing seriously?  If you could let me know your thoughts that would be most helpful.
many thanks.

[iainhol]

As a nurse, I probably have a little more understanding about the disease than many users here. I don't think the piano or how people go about their practice is what will help you. I would recommend continuously following up with your physician, taking your medication and any support groups or coping skills that help you. Although I do not suffer from depression, I do find on my days off that being lazy is very easy. To combat it, I plan my day - I have found with time management I can get so much done.

[nickmeads]

Deep down, I think you and I both know there's not a single thing on this planet that will make you get up and practice piano except your own will. Everything is mental, cry through the piano. Google up a minor scale in any key real quick to get the notes, and just sit on the piano experiment with the sounds as much as you can before the depression kicks in harder. 5 minutes is more than nothing.

Just do it.

As a nurse, I probably have a little more understanding about the disease than many users here. I don't think the piano or how people go about their practice is what will help you. I would recommend continuously following up with your physician, taking your medication and any support groups or coping skills that help you. Although I do not suffer from depression, I do find on my days off that being lazy is very easy. To combat it, I plan my day - I have found with time management I can get so much done.

Depression is a disease? You don't suffer from it yet you recommend him pump pills and chemicals into his body til it gets better? Lol, yeah, be a nurse.

[brogers70]

Depression is treatable. Please find a psychiatrist and make sure that a normal feeling of well-being and productivity are your goal. There are lots of drug choices and lots of talk therapy choices. The down side is that it takes time to evaluate each one and see whether it is working for you. But it absolutely can work - you don't have to accept feeling lousy as the status quo for the rest of your life. Many people in my family have suffered from serious depression, and have gotten back to normal satisfying lives by sticking with treatment, even when it took 6 months or longer of working with a psychiatrist to find the right combination of therapies to do the trick. You can definitely get better.

As for the piano, like for any tasks when you are in the throes of anti-motivation, I think the best thing is to make a list of very, very small, non-intimidating goals. Then try doing the easiest thing on the list; then the next easiest. You can sometimes build a certain momentum out of the satisfaction from getting these steps taken that will propel you forward a bit.

Hang in there; this is awful, but it can get better.

[keyboardclass]

I wouldn't go down the pill route.  Assess your life style - do you drink?  do you take caffeine?  too many carbs?  not enough of the right exercise?  Get all these things assessed by someone knowledgable first.  Your genes could simply not be compatible with your environment.  You can beat it.

[slane]

My #1 rule for avoiding depression is no caffeine! None!
Checkout https://caffeineweb.com/ for some interesting reading/scientific basis on this subject.

When I was supposed to be writing up my Ph. D. I was just married and every morning I would lie in bed thinking "wah! I will never get this thesis finished!" then by chance I idly picked up a brochure on depression at the doctors and it said "no caffeine!" and I realised, since we'd been married my darling husband had been making me a nice strong cup of coffee every morning to help me out of bed! I switched to decaf and the thesis got written.

On top of that there are two important supplements I take, fish oil and vit D. vit D deficiency is quite common and insufficiency even more so. Think SADS; seasonal affective disorder. And fish oil (or omega 3s) are very important for brain function. For some reason when I start imagining people criticising me to the point of anxiety, fish oil fixes it! You can take lots. If i were in your state I'd be taking 6 capsules / day and then cut back to 3.

But as someone else said, depression is serious. If cutting out caffeine and taking D and fish oil doesn't help (and it should help very quickly) then see a professional.

[brogers70]

And one more thing I should have said. Don't take my advice on anyone else's on this forum about such a serious medical issue without seeing a doctor. Nobody on a piano forum can tell you whether medication, talk therapy, or some combination is what you need. The world is full of Tom Cruise's offering bad, dogmatic advice against medical approaches. Definitely see a professional, and don't trust what I or anybody else says on here without getting checked out.

[hansscherff]

And one more thing I should have said. Don't take my advice on anyone else's on this forum about such a serious medical issue without seeing a doctor. Nobody on a piano forum can tell you whether medication, talk therapy, or some combination is what you need. The world is full of Tom Cruise's offering bad, dogmatic advice against medical approaches. Definitely see a professional, and don't trust what I or anybody else says on here without getting checked out.

My point exactly, visit a hospital for medical advice, only visit these forums for piano advice or a nice chat

With regards to the motivation, the best motivation is to listen to as much beautiful piano music as possible, both easy and hard. The easy pieces you will want to learn immediatly, this is my short term motivation. The hard pieces will give you the motivation to actually study, that is my long term motivation. Just find the right beautiful music to suit your style and mood? Lots of advice on this matter can be found on this forum!

[tails]

My motivation: Watch Concerts of great pianists. You'll BOUND to feel "When can I be like him/her?". I hope that will push you to train even further. Don't get down if you fail at the piece you practice first, everyone felt the same way at first. Continue your training and sooner or later the song will be perfect on its own, as long as you don't RUSH WORK (jump into the highest speed while you "sight-read" the piece. It bounds you to a lot of mistakes and failure).

[soitainly]

 I can't diagnose clinical depression, but I can offer some advice. I've learned that just getting up out of the chair is the most important thing. I've never been to a shrink, but have been depressed on and off. For me it doesn't last long, I just developed the willpower to get up and do something. It's easy to just sleep all day but that makes you feel worse, knowing you accomplished nothing that day. I've found getting up and going for a walk to be the best remedy. Getting your blood flowing will take care of most of the physical aspect of being depressed. If you are depressed for days on end however, it may be good to see a doctor.

 As far as musical motivation, just find ways to listen to new music. It can be very easy as someone who wants to be a classical pianist to only listen to classical piano music, but really there is an almost infinite amount of great music out there. Don't become prejudiced and narrow minded when it come to music.

[iainhol]

Depression is a disease? You don't suffer from it yet you recommend him pump pills and chemicals into his body til it gets better? Lol, yeah, be a nurse.

I am not sure this warrants a reply - but your attitude towards people with mental illness stinks.

[nickmeads]

I am not sure this warrants a reply - but your attitude towards people with mental illness stinks.

You have a mental illness? Because I'm sure my attitude was towards you thinking you're in some sort of higher position to give advice than the rest of us being a "nurse", with more "understanding about the disease" by telling us how to not be lazy and use "time management", yeah we'll just go do that and then all of us who suffer it can magically cure our issues by managing our time and having people pump chemicals into us and tell us what'll cure us. You sure got the disease figured out. Aren't you also the same person who doesn't even know how to play? What the hell?

[iainhol]

This isn't a question about playing the piano, this is a health care related question - hence why I chimed in. If you were familiar with mental health programs besides medication programs teach skills that help people with mental illness - these range from crisis plans to dealing with frustrating. Time management is just one of these skills that is taught that I think many people will and have benefited from.

The attitude I was referring to was your suggestion of just using will power, suggesting people who suffer from depression are weak. Good on ya!

[nickmeads]

The attitude I was referring to was your suggestion of just using will power, suggesting people who suffer from depression are weak. Good on ya!

Suggesting people try to overcome things mentally = suggesting they're weak? He asked if people here with depression/anxiety have any suggestions on getting back to playing. I'm not saying your advice was bad, it was straight off a textbook and thats fine. Just don't think you're more qualified than anyone else like you claim with "as a nurse, I probably have a little more understanding about the disease than many users here" - no, you really don't. Do you need to pass any english requirements to become a nurse or do you just need a vagina?

[iainhol]

As previously pointed out the topic is about an illness not about playing piano - if I asked a question here about putting a grand piano in a loft, yes people here could answer the question but if a builder identified himself his answer would be slightly more credible.

A vagina is not a requirement for nursing, English is. Odd questions.

[keyboardclass]

And one more thing I should have said. Don't take my advice on anyone else's on this forum about such a serious medical issue without seeing a doctor. Nobody on a piano forum can tell you whether medication, talk therapy, or some combination is what you need.

And neither, sadly, can a doctor.  The responsiblilty for your health lies in your hands, you can't simply offload it.  As for the requirement of a vagina for nursing - that's just weird!?

[sausagefingers]

Hey man sry to hear about your depression. I am also a sufferer. Ive struggled with it since I was 17 and it got really serious about 3 years ago. I've lost my job and a few friends becuase of it ,Ive been on loads of combinations of antidepressents but its been diagnosed as treatment resistent so far. Some days are really really crippling.

Music is a gift where this illness is concerned dont stop listening or playing what ever you do. I know sometimes you can feel too depressed to do anything let alone listen to frolicksome piano sonatas's. Take your time, keep active and try to socialise as much as possible,people who think you can snap out of this illness are ignorant or deluded. Truth is it can be hell and only you know what your going through. ..and I agree with the other people by the way,dont take medication advice from half educated people on this forum

[keyboardclass]

So far I've lost 14 years, friends, and a career, but I wouldn't swap any of those years for one on meds.  Doctors aren't interested in causes any more only in ameliorating the symptoms.

[delark]

I was and still the worst student at armony class but when i am depressed i like to compose music.
I mean you dont have to know armoy to do it the only thing you need is your ear and a piece of patterned sheet and print all your sadness in that.
Then begin practicing it.At the end you will feel that feeling of accomplished joy.
One day my mother was listening to my composition and ask me who wrote it,she had never done that, when i told her i wrote it she began crying..... i laughed.

So compose something this is the best moment.

[keyboardclass]

Oh, and I forgot to say - wouldn't you just love to take out and shoot the 'pull your socks up' brigade!  That'd put a smile on my face.

[starlady]

So far I've lost 14 years, friends, and a career, but I wouldn't swap any of those years for one on meds. 

I'm sorry you suffer/ed from depression. It is an awful illness, as I have had ample opportunity to observe close up.

And I respect your right to choose how you treated it. 

But can you explain to me a little why you chose the way you did?  You must have been hurting, and hurt your friends too.  What did you see as so terrible in the meds, that it was worse than what you actually went through? 

I ask this complete sincerity and no snarkiness.

--s.

[keyboardclass]

But can you explain to me a little why you chose the way you did?  You must have been hurting, and hurt your friends too.  What did you see as so terrible in the meds, that it was worse than what you actually went through? 

For me the most painful aspect of this illness is losing your personality - 'being' is as if seen through a cracked mirror - a fractured existence.  Occasionally you glimpse yourself.  I was offered Ropinirole the other day by a consultant who was convinced it would solve my problem.  I want to get me back, not some chemically induced stranger. 

[faa2010]

If you want to play seriously, a music school is a good option.

I am 25 years old and I have been studying piano for 9 years.  I am not a prodigy, I have not studied since a tender age or I don't play piano as a professional career, but I am only a person who loves the piano and works very hard.

Sometimes I feel the desire of entering to the University and making a major in Piano, but that would mean many things: risking my job, the losing of a secure money resource, return to my dependency toward my parents, not doing a post-graduate study in the major I have already finished, etc. Now add to this the worry of getting older.

Before entering to the Uni, I though that those ideas of studying piano would vanish because that requires talent, something that I feel I don't have, and also because I have got high grades in subjects like Math and Physics that I felt that my mind is better for that in a job.  However, there are some days when I want to stay in my room playing the piano, despite being depressed or not.

So as you can see, I want to study piano in a Uni.  However, in order to go to the next step, I need to face my fears: both rational and irrational.

I hope that if you give me an advice for this, this may also help you to improve yourself.

[keyboardclass]

Now add to this the worry of getting older.

!?

[dcstudio]

wow, I can relate--I was there my friend.  I can't explain what motivated me to do this but 1 day I just got off the couch, climbed up on the bench and started playing again.   I am now playing about 6-10 hours a day.  When you say "seriously" is this what you mean?  I'm a piano teacher and I get paid to play as well, but I never used to practice (after 40 years I can fake it pretty well, even on a gig).   The joy I feel since I started seriously playing every day is indescribable.  I am here on this site tonight because I want to find others who are as obsessed as I am.  The whole reason I was depressed (I think) is because I wasn't playing for me.  I was teaching, I was working--but I never just played or tried to get any better.  I've played the piano for 42 years, been teaching about 20, and playing gigs forever.  I have 18 years of training--6 at the college level.  I thought there wasn't any need to practice--I WAS WRONG... I can't begin to describe what I've learned or how happy I am.