My Opera Stuff

[oxy60]

The problem with music in the US is that to really make money to live it means LA or NY where the big musician's unions are strong and the wages are appropriate to the living costs. Elsewhere you had better have a day job.

I know there are exceptions. Friends of mine have steady gigs and keep body and soul alive. In general we all have day jobs.

Don't worry about travel expenses. If they want you they will pay. Remember this is a job. The money should flow towards you. You shouldn't pay to work!

Don't move without a signed contract in hand and advance money. You've paid enough already.

[m1469]

Bob, right now the very basic challenge with moving is that we can't sell our house since it's lost value and we owe just enough more than it's worth to make it upside down.  We never went nuts borrowing against it and owe just about what it was worth at the time we bought it, but nonetheless, it seems there's no budging right now.  It would help tremendously if we could just refinance, but we haven't been able to do that, either, since "back when" our loan was bundled and sold (without us knowing) and isn't a Fannie Mae or Freddy Mack; there have simply not been any programs for us under these circumstances and for our particular loan types (well, the type that doesn't qualify). If we could refi, it would be easier to at least rent it out.  That is the non-personal stuff (and I don't just mean personal to me) but is enough to seriously skew my outlook and attitude.  It's possible that if I didn't feel stuck, living circumstances could be the same but I wouldn't be chomping at the bitt about it, but I don't really know since it is what it is.  Well, that's not entirely true as I wanted to move before the economy crashed.  

Oxy, there is no way that I can see where I will not be putting more money in.  Just to make a quality video, to make a quality audio recording, there are accompanist fees and then for audio there is whatever the cost for production.  Right now that is even not a vacuum expense and one that I can just throw around, it directly means something else is given up and not something meaningless.  And, it's one thing to be hired for something and have my expenses paid to travel there, it's another to get training and to travel to audition for stuff - that's how I would get hired.  

Anyway, I struggle to understand what I'm "supposed" to be learning through this, though of course I'm learning a lot.  Sometimes it's easy to just wish it wasn't like this or to feel overwhelmed with what needs to happen in order to move forward.  I do appreciate you both chiming in!

[cmg]

m1469, just got a chance to listen to the "Norma" duet.  You and your Adalgisa are wonderful!

You have a distinctive sound.  Recognizable.  I really love you in this bel canto repertoire.  Big, juicy sound with sweetness.  It's an uncommon combination and a winning one.  I used to work in opera production at the Met and, believe me, I've heard many, many voices.  Yours is quite memorable.  And sorry to hear you're suffering with this housing dilemma that is an epidemic globally.  Sounds like it's a real obstacle right now.

My advice, since you're temporarily stuck in "Paradise," would be to reconnect with former teachers and coaches with connections and let them hear you sing again.  You, like all of us, need some luck.  Someone to get you into the big leagues. 

There's no lesson to be learned from a recession except that the only constant out there is change. What looks like an impasse to you now, could dissolve in a minute with a stroke of good luck.  Manage to sing for influential people in the voice biz.  I think you might be surprised at the reaction. 

Your voice is rather special.  Best of luck to you.


Michael     

[m1469]

Michael, thank you very much for listening to my video and for all of your thoughts and feedback.  I really do appreciate it very much.  The house is not nor has it been our only problem, but jobs have been, too (we are both employed, but the steadiness of the income is very tricky in some respects due solely to the type of school we work for).  I won't go far into it except to say that in the Spring of 2010, there was a major change for us and ever since then, everything's been even more difficult than it ever was before that. Since then I've seen writing on the wall, since we had built a life around different circumstances and those circumstances changed.  There has been a basic need for something less fluctuating (with other differences, too) to find its way into our household, or even more will need to change and it probably won't be pretty.  Even if my husband and I both had full-time jobs at minimum wage, or even 60 hours a week, it would still be nearly impossible to remain current on our house payments and other regular bills (which we have done all along) and for me to try to build a music career of any sort (the practicalities of practice time aside).

As of this morning, though, a very needed change in thought has been taking place in the household (including the possibility of more career options for my husband) and at church somebody asked me if they could have lessons.  I had been donating my services to the church and a few days ago requested that I am compensated once again, and they are even willing to back pay from October.  It's not a lot, but it helps.  These things are very, very good.  I've got ideas, too, and the real danger comes when I run out of ideas.

SO, yes, I admit I'm relieving some pressure by posting this, but I actually think it doesn't hurt for aspiring musicians to have a taste of reality, should somebody like that be reading.  It's very possible for some seriously difficult things to happen and, while the idea of going all out towards one's dreams and possibly failing in the process is romantic enough to lull somebody into walking a certain path, it's not necessarily a clear cut road of success or failure and it can be extremely tricky along the way under normal circumstances, let alone during a gigantic recession.  No, the recession is not personal to me and to my household, but yes there is a perspective I've gained through this that is invaluable and has instilled something even more within me to be able to give through my art, so long as this current state doesn't last forever.

All of that said, I admit that I believe there is probably something unique about my voice and that I am probably marketable as a character, at least I choose to believe that.  But yes, practical steps is so the name of the game right now.  No matter what, I will never ever be able to stop studying, not just playing, the piano.  BUT, I believe I've grown in these years in being able to cope with certain things as relates to that and I am willing and open to understand what is the proper balance in my life between these.  Of course, I've still got lots going on under the cap with that, too.  We will be visiting near SF during Christmas time and I will get a hold of my diction coach there and hopefully sing for her.  She has always made a distinct point to keep her rates quite reasonable, built upon her own philosophy (she also refuses to email and will only make appointments by phone, and forces me into manually translating everything I sing ... hee hee).

And please let me state that I understand the beauty of my area, I am very appreciative of it and always have been.  I am appreciative of the fact that so far I have been able to make a living teaching music, but there is also a very large engine in me who wants to embrace more of the world whether we move the homebase or not (I am not opposed to this remaining my homebase and to traveling out from here).

[Bob]

Won't you have to move eventually?

[m1469]

Won't you have to move eventually?

Honestly, I have no idea.  If I got hired "full time" for a company as a singer then, yes, I would assume so.  Or, if I go to Graduate School (which I am considering).  But, I know that some artists have a residence and then travel wherever they are hired for a show or for a concert, etc..  If my life looked like that (somehow), then I am simply open to staying where I am.  Right now, I am open to ... a lot, and feel I need to be.  We will look into refinancing again, too ... maybe there's a new program since last Spring?!  We really need to just keep taking steps.

[oxy60]

Hey, it's your house. It has doors that lock and a roof to keep out the weather. You wanted it at the price you paid/signed for. The one thing it is not is a slot machine that always pays. There is this fantasy pushed by realtors that a house is the best investment you will ever make. Not true. It's a house you live in. When you pay it off you will live there without payments and that is a very nice way to retire. If you refinance (and take out equity) you will only lengthen the time to when it is paid off.

[m1469]

Taking equity in refinance?  Not sure how that can possibly relate to this conversation.

Yes, no doubt my husband and I are entirely grateful for the fact that we have shelter.  This experience has completely changed my perspective on many things and I see other people in a whole different way, some of that with a whole new world of compassion, some of it not.  There is no doubt that there is a large population who can't actually relate to this, or are simply grateful it's not happening to them, or feel more comfortable about it if placing blame.  This is also part of my perspective change.  I, too, struggle with the temptation to place blame on various things and people (not excluding myself), but I somewhere know this is not going to help me nor our situation in the least and that it actually needs to be healed.

Buying my piano was one thing we borrowed money against the house to do.  Was I wrong to do it?  And, I bought rather frugally when at the time I could have purchased a brand new Steinway for nearly as much as I could have wanted (as our house appreciated for awhile after we bought it), but I didn't because I thought I was being -and made a very conscious effort to be- wise.  I am willing to sell it if that's what needs to happen, but that is far from easy for me (yet that step feels quite near).    

I think it's difficult for people to imagine not just any old grunt job being taken away from somebody, but rather a career of 12 years, possibly like yours or yours, and for individuals to suddenly find themselves in a situation of dealing with what that means.  I think it scares people.  It means more than most people would suspect, I think.  I think it's hard for people to understand that a career can't be replaced by just any other job, or by a bunch of odd jobs here and there, or that even people trying to do the right thing can find themselves in a situation that is not very obviously solvable.  And there can be further complications, too.

Anyway, all I am seeking at this time is a path.  What snapped me into a better mentality several days ago was coming to realize that what I am experiencing right now is much bigger than myself and not actually as much about me as it can seem.  While I need to be responsible for my actions in whatever ways that means (past, present, future), I caught this glimpse that my discomfort with the situation is largely because of much bigger questions about life (and an underlying fear).  I hadn't seen it, or any struggle, *quite* like that before and it was somehow comforting.  Of course, I have no choice but to clarify and listen to those questions and seek answers and I find that this is probably my most sincere desire at the time.

[oxy60]

Sorry about the banking terms. I think I was in it too long and I assume that everybody thinks this way.

Stay focused on the music and try to pay off the debts. Just remember refi's don't come for free. There are fees attached to doing all that paperwork (that paid my salary), new appraisal, title search, etc.

[m1469]

I am perfectly familiar with what it means to draw equity, which is why I know it isn't applicable.  The whole point is that we haven't got any equity to possibly draw since our house lost value.  And we are not in a position to just waltz into a bank and refinance, we need there to be a special program.  Possibly adding some years on to the end date of our loan is not nearly as inconvenient as foreclosing the house would be.  Some loans don't have fees, and I am familiar with appraisal fees.  While getting an appraisal costs what it does (we paid for a pointless one a couple of years ago), it is still a lot less inconvenient than foreclosing would be.  But, seeing as you are familiar with all of this, I would guess I hardly need to actually explain it to you.  

[oxy60]

Everybody's circumstance is different, and I do hope there is a program out there to help you.

What I want to focus on is that the quality of your voice comes through the videos you posted. I just happen to have very good speakers attached to my computer. If my fellow posters can hear the difference, then why not a possible director?

Those videos just need to be seen by the right people. I don't think the cost of a special recording would be worth it. At some point they will want to hear you in person.

[m1469]

What I want to focus on is that the quality of your voice comes through the videos you posted. I just happen to have very good speakers attached to my computer. If my fellow posters can hear the difference, then why not a possible director?

Those videos just need to be seen by the right people. I don't think the cost of a special recording would be worth it. At some point they will want to hear you in person.

Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate it.  Some strange times these days ... my being tells me something is hugely stirring in my life, but I have hardly got the faintest idea what is happening nor what the right footsteps are for me to be taking.  I'm really trying to be doing the right things.  Aside from some aspects of living which are making themselves more apparent to me, I scarcely know what to let go of right now and what to hold on to (nor do I really know what choice I have about that), but I know I need to be paying very close attention.  Funnily enough, I just saw my scene partner this evening who told me she got hired (in-state) by way of a random call from somebody who saw a YT from last year's scenes together, and they felt she was perfect for what they were looking for.  I very much enjoy that concept of how it happened.  Tonight I sang an aria in my teacher's studio class, and I really enjoyed singing and performing.  Tonight I even needed singing and I feel grateful to be able to sing.