How do I politely move on from my current teacher?

[flyinfingers]

I have already paid in advance with my current teacher --- Lesson no. 1 for beginning with a new teacher -- pay by the lesson!  Interview them first to make sure you think you might want to  have them for a teacher.  I made that mistake.  It has been said numerous times on this board that if your teacher doesn't make you feel enthusiastic, then move on.  I motivate myself way more than she!  Just for the record!
I really have no desire to go to my lesson on Monday.  I don't care about the money.  We are not on the same page nor will we ever be.  When you tell someone three solid weeks in a row that you want to perfect pieces and it goes in one ear and out the other then I wish to move on.  A tiger never changes its stripes.

What do I say?  I'm not good at this stuff and I lose sleep over it.  Help!

[phil821]

I know it might be hard, but I think you should just suck it up for the last lesson then don't ever pay/see her again. If it's hard to tell her in words that you don't want to have any more lessons, try writing her an email.

  In regards to the idea of telling her you don't want to see him/her anymore, if you really can't bring yourself to be honest, just maybe tell a lie and say that something has come up in your life and you can't have lessons for a while

[starstruck5]

Maybe there is no polite way exactly -    You just have to honest and civilised about it - teachers are generally used to it!  Nobody can get on with everybody.

[cjp_piano]

I know it might be hard, but I think you should just suck it up for the last lesson then don't ever pay/see her again. If it's hard to tell her in words that you don't want to have any more lessons, try writing her an email.

  In regards to the idea of telling her you don't want to see him/her anymore, if you really can't bring yourself to be honest, just maybe tell a lie and say that something has come up in your life and you can't have lessons for a while

No, don't suck it up, you're the client you can do whatever you want. If you already paid for it and don't feel like going, don't go!

 And don't tell a lie and say you can't have lessons, especially if you are going to take lessons from someone else! They may find out and you will look bad, plus it's not ethical. 

But at least tell him you aren't coming. Even if it's in a email, you should pay him the courtesy of telling him you aren't coming. And you should also tell him that you don't want to take lessons with him anymore. Be honest but polite. Being a teacher myself I can tell you I appreciate it when students tell me what's going on, even if it means losing them as a student or thinking that there's something wrong with my teaching, at least I know and I'm not left wondering!

[outin]

I can relate since I also had a teacher that I did not feel was suitable for me for many reasons. After I found a new one I simply send him a text message cancelling the lesson I already paid for and told him that I am not coming anymore for personal reasons. I did not feel comfortable explaining why.

From your other posts I saw you have already had more than one teacher. Either you have been very unlucky or your expectations are very high. Maybe you should explain this to your new teacher in advance to avoid getting into the same situation again? I really had little reference when it comes to the local teachers, but I was a bit wiser the second time and knew what to emphasize when looking for one (interest for classical music only and need to learn proper technique).

Hope you find what you are looking for. Having a teacher you can trust to work for your improvement is important. Even when extremely frustrated after a difficult lesson, I know in the back of my mind that it was useful and usually the next time is better. Since I absolutely lacked any proper technique and was extremely stiff, we really had to start from the beginning. But my teacher is nice to also help me learn something more advanced that I like in addition to all those annoying little pieces that I will need to get my hands and body into shape. That is important to keep me motivated.

[pianoplayjl]

Go anyway. After that last lesson, tell him  a lie e.g.that you are not learning anymore because you've lost the will to learn again or something like that.

[mcdiddy1]

Send an email or make a short phone call. Keep it impersonal, vague, and professional. Its not a good idea to get into a argument about what good teaching is or isn't. Just recognize it as a learning experience and use experience as a tool to learn what you expect from a lesson and use it as an interview question for the next one. If you interview the teacher very well before agreeing to signing up for piano lessons, you will be better to gauge their philosopy toward music, teaching, and how well they are able to communicate with you.

Heres what you should say:
Dear teacher, I appreciate the time and information you have passed on to me. Due to unforeseen circumstance I have chosen to discontinue lessons at this time. I wish you continued success for you in your teaching and your students.

What you really want to say:
I can't take another lesson with you. I am moving to a better teacher who actually listens etc...etc

[m1469]

Personally, as a teacher, I'm not a fan of students who show up to a lesson and tell me it will be their last - this is mostly because I put in a lot of myself at each lesson and our lesson is always built around work to be done that week until I see them again, or at least something that I expect them to build upon.  But, if they're never coming back or are quitting piano, what's the point?  Or if they don't think it's helpful and that's why they're quitting, why would I spend any more of my time and energy fussing over them yet again?

Most students feel too awkward and are thinking so much about themselves to politely say "thank you" but, if you are interested in being polite (as your title suggests), that would be a polite thing to do, nonetheless.  Depending upon how much time was spent with the teacher and what the bond is, can help to determine how personal or impersonal you would be.

[flyinfingers]

"No, don't suck it up, you're the client you can do whatever you want. If you already paid for it and don't feel like going, don't go!"

My gut feeling was not to go back today.  I quietly knocked on the door and there she was sitting at the piano with a book of Preludes for my next piece -- well, let's just work on the last three we have!  Peludes are great if I'm sick and have the flu -- sorry, that's not my personality at the moment although she plays them beautifully!  Well, like I say, she proceeded to talk for an entire 15 minutes of the lesson -- irrelevant stuff, but I would love to sit and talk with her any other time.
She did do better though and now I don't know what to think.  As I mentioned in a nearby post, I really like her.  Would love to have her as a friend, lovely woman.  That is what's making this so hard.  She even invited me over for Thanksgiving!  Oh, jeez.....

I'm confused now.  I don't live in a large area and I would be willing to pay more for better.  I called a lady (the one from Ukraine) to set up an appt.  In the meantime, I called the lady (who became a somewhat friend) who did all of my window coverings in our house, telling her about my piano, etc., chit chat and mentioned the Ukranian lady (for double).  She told me her friend took from her and the Ukranian lady lives in her neighborhood!  So I asked for her friend's no. and called her.  Now, keep in mind, this lady has never taken piano -- love it -- and found the Ukranian lady to be unorganized, never gave her the fingering for the scales (that's scary as a newcomer to piano) and did not have a "plan."  PLUS, her two-year-old son kept coming in the room - Mommy this and Mommy that.  I never called her back -- thankfully!  Double whammie the bucks for double talk!
I called the university nearby (50 miles) with a music program but all they did was send me a list of teachers and no recommendations.

[mcdiddy1]

"No, don't suck it up, you're the client you can do whatever you want. If you already paid for it and don't feel like going, don't go!"

My gut feeling was not to go back today.  I quietly knocked on the door and there she was sitting at the piano with a book of Preludes for my next piece -- well, let's just work on the last three we have!  Peludes are great if I'm sick and have the flu -- sorry, that's not my personality at the moment although she plays them beautifully!  Well, like I say, she proceeded to talk for an entire 15 minutes of the lesson -- irrelevant stuff, but I would love to sit and talk with her any other time.
She did do better though and now I don't know what to think.  As I mentioned in a nearby post, I really like her.  Would love to have her as a friend, lovely woman.  That is what's making this so hard.  She even invited me over for Thanksgiving!  Oh, jeez.....

I'm confused now.  I don't live in a large area and I would be willing to pay more for better.  I called a lady (the one from Ukraine) to set up an appt.  In the meantime, I called the lady (who became a somewhat friend) who did all of my window coverings in our house, telling her about my piano, etc., chit chat and mentioned the Ukranian lady (for double).  She told me her friend took from her and the Ukranian lady lives in her neighborhood!  So I asked for her friend's no. and called her.  Now, keep in mind, this lady has never taken piano -- love it -- and found the Ukranian lady to be unorganized, never gave her the fingering for the scales (that's scary as a newcomer to piano) and did not have a "plan."  PLUS, her two-year-old son kept coming in the room - Mommy this and Mommy that.  I never called her back -- thankfully!  Double whammie the bucks for double talk!
I called the university nearby (50 miles) with a music program but all they did was send me a list of teachers and no recommendations.

Wow, thats tough. so what's your plan?

[amelialw]

ask around... i'll be great if you know student's from the university, that way you'll really be able to find out who's better otherwise you could just go for it and if the teacher isn't good switch teachers. i know it's harsh but that's how reality is if you want to get a good teacher sometimes. FYI I studied with 5 different teachers within 3 years

what i did was to sms or email the teacher; thanking the teacher but keeping it informal, making sure it wasn't personal, didn't give any reasons why either.

[dcstudio]

you deserve a teacher that YOU are comfortable with--whomever that may be.  A good teacher for you may not be for someone else..

MOST teachers understand this--even if it pains the ego a bit 

[love_that_tune]

Horrors, I would never want someone to feel obligated to continue with me.  And frankly there is no way around the awkward hit on the ego.

I had a mom announce to me that her daughter would not be continuing with me.  I asked if she could tell me why so that I might learn.  She said she would rather not say.  C'est la vie.

Certainly a grownup should be able to handle that she is not everyone's cup of tea.

I think lying is insulting.  One is left with wondering if the truth is horrible or something.

All grownups here... speak the truth.