Overbearing Mother

[ChristmasCarol]

I have given  three lessons to a charming eight year old girl who has had one year of lessons and has been pitifully held back.    Mom plays the piano and "doesn't want to be her piano teacher".  HOWEVER... she literally sits on the floor "doing paper work" with her feet under the piano bench during the lesson.  For some reason I am a total wuss in what to say.  This is a first for such an extreme hovering. I have taught hundreds of students.   Anybody got some neat ways to express myself so I don't sound awful when I just really want her to get the hell out of the room and let me teach her very bright and lovely only child.  The little girl wanted to give me a hug after her second lesson... and mom said "Can I hug you too?".  You get the picture.  

[Hmoll]

I have given  three lessons to a charming eight year old girl who has had one year of lessons and has been pitifully held back.    Mom plays the piano and "doesn't want to be her piano teacher".  HOWEVER... she literally sits on the floor "doing paper work" with her feet under the piano bench during the lesson.  For some reason I am a total wuss in what to say.  This is a first for such an extreme hovering. I have taught hundreds of students.   Anybody got some neat ways to express myself so I don't sound awful when I just really want her to get the hell out of the room and let me teach her very bright and lovely only child.  The little girl wanted to give me a hug after her second lesson... and mom said "Can I hug you too?".  You get the picture.  

You're a weenie. Sorry, I mean that in a nice way.

Tell the mother you are going to enforce your studio policy of no parents allowed in the room during the lesson. If she doesn't want to comply, you will not teach her daughter. End of story.

[aisling_7]

Offer her a time slot?  She seems to want to take lessons too!  You can tell her you wouldn't want any of your other students parent's to find out she has sat in on a lesson.  It wouldn't be fair to the other parents;  you have to enforce the rule for everybody...blah blah etc.

Jackie

[ChristmasCarol]

You're a weenie. Sorry, I mean that in a nice way.

Tell the mother you are going to enforce your studio policy of no parents allowed in the room during the lesson. If she doesn't want to comply, you will not teach her daughter. End of story.

Okay, thanks for the boot in the ... I called the Mom and said I had a policy that parents aren't in the room during the lesson.  It didn't seem like a big deal to her.  She actually said "I'm glad you told me."  
Reformed weenie

[pianoannie]

I'm glad you got that worked out smoothly.  It sounds like you don't have anything about parents sitting in on lessons in your written studio policy (or maybe you don't have a written studio policy at all?)
I definitely recommend it!
All new students, as well as previous students who re-enroll each year, receive a copy of my policy statement, and it must be signed by parent and student.

[Spatula]

I kinda wonder why parents do that sometimes...to like look at every nanny and crook of their child's lives..

It's disturbing I think.

[ChristmasCarol]

I kinda wonder why parents do that sometimes...to like look at every nanny and crook of their child's lives..

It's disturbing I think.

It's disturbing allright.  Some parents can't seperate themselves from their children.  I have noticed this particularly with only children.  I haven't needed a "policy' recently until this mom.  I am a lucky teacher, I have so many great families on my roster.  One voice student I have, had her grandmother, her sister and her mom in the room.  I just stated my need for privacy with the student and that was that.  i'm going to think about this need for a written policy, it seems so... restricting somehow.  I don't want to put off the family with an elitist attitude.  I had a student yesterday who blew me away with her performance and i called mom into the room to hear her do it again and there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

I told one person about the mother's behavior and he said, "Oh god, the kid's going to be an axe murderer when she grows up.".   He had quit lessons after three months when his mom "sat in".  

Thanks for listening everyone.