What to do with a student who breaks down in the middle of a lesson

[pianoplayjl]

Hi I was just wandering what you teacher's responses are if you have a student who is in the middle of a lesson and then has a break down for no apparent reason (keep in mind you haven't shouted at the student.) and is emotionally distracted from playing.  I just want to see what you teachers think about this scenario, even if it is highly unlikely that it will happen.

JL

[mcdiddy1]

It happens especially when there is a lot going on at home, particular lower social economic kids. I think the best thing do is allow the student to vent their emotions. If they need a minute to be upset you should allow that, and if they want to talk about it with you then you should listen but not pressure the kid to do anything the kid does not want to do.

Then when the child has recovered, find something really easy and simple so the kid can be successful quickly. It can be as simple as playing with one hand, clapping a rhythm, writing note names etc. Doing something that the student can do easily will allow the student to put their mind on something eles and be productive at the same time.

This happened to me before when one of the students' grandmother died and another time when the student was upset when her mom had gone traveling.

 There is always a reason for that kind of reaction but it is unlikely you are equip to deal with it so it is also a good idea to discuss it with a parent or guardian if the problem continues.

[ian_f001]

It happens especially when there is a lot going on at home, particular lower social economic kids.

I don't know that I would limit this to kids of a particular socio-economic level. Middle schoolers, especially, from all backgrounds seem to be carrying around a lot of stress- some of it legitimate, some of it we might deem superficial. But to them, it's all legitimate. We have to respect that. Sometimes you can channel this angst into the activity at hand. Sometimes you just can't and it's best not to try.

One thing I have noticed is that my male students usually give me more of an indication that they are going through a difficult time...before we reach critical melt-down stage. My female students, pre-teen or young teen-agers....I have no idea from week to week what I'm in for. We can be cruising a long great in our lesson, having a great time, and then all of the sudden...BOOOM! Or, they might come in all in a huff, but sit down and blast through their repertoire like nobody's business.

(I guess I just dismissed one stereotype at the beginning of my post, and then replaced it with one of my own.)

[keypeg]

I have a faint recollection of being female and in the early teen years.  What I remember is that "it" (your body) burst into tears and you're thinking "what the heck is that all about?".  It was rather annoying and a bit embarrassing.

[mcdiddy1]

I don't know that I would limit this to kids of a particular socio-economic level. Middle schoolers, especially, from all backgrounds seem to be carrying around a lot of stress- some of it legitimate, some of it we might deem superficial. But to them, it's all legitimate. We have to respect that. Sometimes you can channel this angst into the activity at hand. Sometimes you just can't and it's best not to try.

One thing I have noticed is that my male students usually give me more of an indication that they are going through a difficult time...before we reach critical melt-down stage. My female students, pre-teen or young teen-agers....I have no idea from week to week what I'm in for. We can be cruising a long great in our lesson, having a great time, and then all of the sudden...BOOOM! Or, they might come in all in a huff, but sit down and blast through their repertoire like nobody's business.

(I guess I just dismissed one stereotype at the beginning of my post, and then replaced it with one of my own.)

I didnt dismiss the problems of students who are not in a lower social economic class just that their issues then to be more pressing. We all have problems but comparing those who deal with poverty, murder, abandonment on a regular basis is more pressing then others which tend to be based on social issues.

[virtuoso80]

I'm surprised no on is even suggesting that the piano lesson itself can cause an incident like that? Piano is VERY HARD on your brain. I'm a pretty open and easy-going teacher, but if your pushing someone to get better, then it can be a very stressful situation.

I have an adolescent student who has a wonderful instinct for the piano, and I tell him so. He also lacks the discipline to slow down and practice, and it leads to sloppy playing, incorrectly learned parts, and lots of errors. I can relate, because I was the same way, and we get along well. However, one lesson I could see his was starting to get stressed by having to constantly fix errors, and he started getting glassy-eyed. It happens.

[keyofc]

I would call the parent.  They do not always let you know when there are special needs.
I would let them know the situation.

[starlady]

You need to be careful there. Sometimes the parent IS the problem.  --s.

[lukebar]

I didnt dismiss the problems of students who are not in a lower social economic class just that their issues then to be more pressing. We all have problems but comparing those who deal with poverty, murder, abandonment on a regular basis is more pressing then others which tend to be based on social issues.

I agree. But in the mind of an adolescent, their own particular problems are THE most pressing. They all believe, "Nobody understands what I'm going through...". My point was that the underlying issue could be practically anything. Teens and pre-teens can blow up a minor bump on the road of life to the point that they obsess about it for weeks.

Some of my most tightly strung students come from affluent families, where the pressures of maintaing stellar grades, getting into a good school, not disappointing mom and dad, keeping up with their siblings and peers, etc. are tremendous.

I agree that these 'problems' are man-made problems, and shouldn't be perceived to be equal of those who are truly suffering. But in the mind of these kids, they are.

For these students, I try to emphasize the recreational and creative aspects of music making. They don't need one more thing in their lives to be judged upon...something that feels like another pass or fail activity. But even then, the mentality is go ingrained that they sometimes feel that if they aren't the next Gould, or Horowitz, or Lang Lang- why should they even bother?