Hey pal, I listened only once. Vey good work for a start.
below is some major findings, you need to replay together with the score and you can see what went wrong

Bar 10.18.28 dnt forget the dotted rthym. Pay attention to time 1.15;1.35; play LH eflat withn rh group of 4's(G Bb eb G).....
I hope this helps