She says "I hate the piano!"

[slane]

 

I have been teaching my daughter for a bit over a year and she's been making decent progress. Not earth shattering but nice and steady.
But now she declares that she hates the piano because she works hard on a piece, gets a sticker and then she's back to square 1 with the next piece and it never ends!
Well yeah! That's what learning the piano is all about.
So today I told her to play the pieces she likes but then she got distracted by her own composition that she wants me to to notate. So that's what we'll do tomorrow but then what do you do when someone makes this pretty rational complaint?? (She doesn't want a "proper" teacher. )

[fleetfingers]

Hi slane: Does she get to choose her own pieces? As a kid, I didn't like the method book my teacher was using and was not motivated to learn anything in it. I wanted to learn classical music, and as soon as that became my focus, the never-ending, 'starting a new piece' part of piano was exciting, not tedious. Well, there was tedious work involved, but the beginning was always exciting, rather than daunting. Maybe re-evaluate the music she's being asked to play? Is there any music that she's interested in starting?

IMO, being "distracted" by her own composition is a good thing and should be encouraged. Just make her also practice what she's supposed to before she gets off the bench.  

[slane]

Thanks FF.

She likes classical music but she's still in her second "tutor". My plan was to get her to what we call "preliminary" level and then there's lots of repertoire with CDs etc. I can buy so she can choose what she likes but first we have to get there!

I think the thing that has put her off was the last piece she learnt was quite complcated. Even though it involved notes she knows and simple timing the hands are doing two different things, so she had to learn them separately. It was quite an undertaking.
I'm wondering if I should be less strict about the pieces in the method book. Perhaps, as long as she gets the concept she's supposed to be working on, say sharps, and doesn't quite get to play it smoothly with no pauses then I should let that go and move on??? Then perhaps be stricter about "repertoire" pieces?

[teosoleil]

Is she excited to play? Are you forcing her to like anything in ANY way (I hope not!)? The number one reason why people, especially young children, hate piano is mainly due to forcing them to do something without encouragement. Usually, people who like it from the beginning are not forced but have 100% love and encouragement, along with self-determination.

I like the idea of giving her stuff that she likes. However, make sure she masters the BASICS. Your child is saying that she hates mastering, picking up a new piece again, and mastering it, the cycle continues. Why on Earth would you move on only after getting the "concept"? The basics need to be mastered, and that includes learning a piece fully. If you don't start teaching her to fully master at a young age it's going to take ten times more the effort later on.

[keypeg]

I've been thinking about this for a while, and don't know if the OP is still around.

But now she declares that she hates the piano because she works hard on a piece, gets a sticker and then she's back to square 1 with the next piece and it never ends!
Well yeah! That's what learning the piano is all about.

Tbh, I'd get bored too, and no, that is not what learning the piano is all about.  It is not about reproducing one piece of music until it is good enough, then the next one, and the next one.  That does seem rather pointless.  Your reward for a good enough version is that you get to start all over again doing the same thing.  It definitely is not what learning the piano is ALL about.

Learning the piano is about:
- understanding how notes work, understanding their language
- exploring the kinds of sounds you can produce: loud ones and quiet ones, connected and disconnected ones - and what kinds of feelings you can produce using this
- getting skills (see above)
- exploring harmony and disharmony, listening

This is an incomplete and probably inaccurate list.  But these are the kinds of things that a good teacher would bring out.

y plan was to get her to what we call "preliminary" level and then there's lots of repertoire with CDs etc. I can buy so she can choose what she likes but first we have to get there!

The preliminary level is not about easy pieces.  It is about skills and attitudes that the teacher sets up.  By giving her this on your own, you may create a situation where a teacher has to undo a fair number of things.

[jian10]

I've been teaching my son as well.  I started when he was 6. He was very motivated and excited to learn, but after 4 months I had to stop because I had to take care of my brother who was getting cancer treatment.  Some 9 months later we resumed the lesson, but he's not the same kid any more.  He's more interested in computer games than playing piano now.  However, I try to keep things more interesting and to have him have some goal.  He'll be playing in a recital for the first time pretty soon.  He also sees his school mates taking lessons and making progress ahead of him. So he's somewhat motivated a little.

I've noticed that kids get bored with the same hand position, the same technique, and not so appealing method book pieces.  I don't use the method books much but I highly recommend Alfred's Recital Book, only level 1 through 3.  Each level seems to have purposes and works really well to prepare young students to be in the Early Intermediate. 

[lostinidlewonder]

Children have a problem when asked to see long term effects. For them 1 week is a long time! Often I will get my younger students to play things that are easy for them and tell them to notice how easy this piece is for them to learn now but before they took a lot longer. It is also a discipline to teach young children that yes you certainly do have to start from the beginning when learning a new piece. This is a lesson for their entire life. You climb one ladder only to find yourself at the base of another. Take school for example, you get through primary school, climb to the top of the ladder, then you are at the bottom again when you go into high school, you climb the high school ladder to the top, then you are at the bottom again either at a university or apprenticeship etc and so on. Young children need to learn this lesson through many things in their life and learning the piano certainly does expose them to this life lesson.

A child (or anyone else for that matter) needs to remove the emotion of "hate" and learn to use more appropriate constructive emotions to identify what they think they "hate". No one really likes to practice, the act of practicing itself is hard work and drains you, but if you can focus on an achievement or goal then you no longer get caught up thinking of the work itself.

[keypeg]

I would still look at what this child is being taught.  Learning to play the piano does not consist of learning one piece after the other.