Robert Henryhttps://www.roberthenry.org
Visual is knowing what the music LOOKS like (ie some kind of photographic memory)
Mojohkm,I have struggled with the EXACT problem. The solution was and is simple. The problem is not with your memory, but rather your focus, specifically your LACK of focus during your preparation. For years I played on "auto" and the past couple years of my life have been a painful but rewarding transition from that kind of uninvolved playing to one where I am thinking about EVERYTHING at all times. Many times, I would practice and not look at my hands, then when it came time to perform, I would look at them and be like"where does my right hand go now?" Believe me, I've had enough of that. I think the turning point was when I started STUDYING the recordings of Radu Lupu, Pogorelich, and others for hours at a sitting, trying to understand their concentration and control. I realized that my kind of automatic playing and practicing wasn't going to cut it. When I started my transformation, sometimes I would sit and practice a single triad for two and three hours at a sitting until I heard it and controlled it to a fine degree. Another thing that contributed to my success with this issue was playing literature that required more detailed listening and control, like Mozart. Ours is not an easy problem to fix. You are going to have to really think about what you want in a practice session. Move beyond learning the notes and believe it or not, move beyond putting emotion into your music. Those two things need to be (a) given. You need to take a step outside of the music for a moment and learn what you are doing with your body. I remember a story my former teacher told me of a pianist who was a prodigy in his youth and could do amazing things, but one day in his 20's, he looked at his hands and said to himself, "How am I doing all this?!" He started analyzing every move he made until unfortunately he couldn't play anymore. He had been playing on auto for so long that when he became "self-aware" it paralyzed him. I can't remember who the pianist was, but it would have been me had I not persevered these past couple years. I have thought a great deal about this subject, and I even considered counseling to help me clear my mind and focus during my practice. That was unneeded, but the work I've done was necessary. As an example of the type of work I'm talking about, about a year and a half ago I learned the 2 part-inventions, which of course seemed like a huge step back, but playing something that "easy" can give you a lot of time and space to think about your mechanism and pianistic control. I chose to work on those pieces because of the technical freedom they allow.I would say I'm maybe 75% percent past this now, but I also know that it can be a good thing sometimes too. There is no way I could play some of those Godowsky things and think about the 20 things he requires at the same time, so to play them I have to just let my hands run free. Playing on auto can sometimes produce some really exciting playing, but it is nice to have the ability to rein my mind in. My former teacher told me that the main thing I needed to do was to slow down. She didn't mean speed, she meant am I hearing everything and am I AWARE of what I am doing at all times.The questioning my actions thing is familiar too. I've come to the conclusion that any place that I have questioned my hands or my interpretation is a place that I have taken for granted in the practice room. It could even be the place that I've worked on the most. Maybe it got so comfortable to play that I got in the habit of daydreaming during that part. Bottom line is, have a plan for everything. You didn't mention this, but I bet that you have a problem beginning a piece too. You get out on stage and sit there not knowing how to begin; even the silence makes you uncomfortable. That feeling comes from not preparing right also, from not having a plan for even the first note. In my music, FOR EVERY PIECE, I have instructions to myself on how to physically begin the music. In other words, I have a plan. I'm not just hoping that things will turn out alright by the third measure. Then I take that plan and practice beginning the piece. As you begin to work in this kind of detail, you might think that it's ok not to have a plan for the easy passages. It's not. A plan for every note. Concentration on every note, every finger, your back, wrist, foot, arms, the space and resonance of the hall, awareness of even the creaking of the bench as you move.I'm sure that you will conquer your mind, but it will take some time. Work hard at this. Robert Henryhttps://www.roberthenry.org
I don't believe visual plays a big role in music memorisation, simply because I have seen brilliant blind musicians play and they have never seen their instrument with their eyes. Sight can always be replaces with sound and touch.
ok, this might be a little late seeing as i havent seen you on the forum since i have been here, but DUDE YOU ARE AMAZING.