Would it be my mind inside of their mind -as in viewing their mind with the judgment faculties of my own mind...or would their mind really be my mind? And if their mind was my mind, whose mind would that mind want as mine? I guess it would start all over again. And could it possibly only be confined to the artistic mind, without the whole life and worldview shaping it with everything else? In that case every good thing, every repulsive thing, every victory and every defeat, that which is godly, that which is sin, pains, pleasures? From the comfort of my own judgment and knowledge of truth, I'd have to prefer my mind, for I like my mind...but no, I still need a renewed, a better, a cleaner mind; for my...my mind falls short. But where now did the music go?
I can relate to the desire. Look at my name: Furtwängler. Great German conductor he was, and you can see at many corners how I've upheld his art, wanting to storm with the extreme polar intensities eccentricities (looking for a word here) as have swept me away in his recordings - to a point of emulating the same types of flaws his art was prone to...isn't that interesting? Typical? A problem of the question [preferring somebody else's mistakes to my own]? (See my recordings Beethoven's op. 111 and the Liszt B minor Sonata and Dante if you can find them in the audition room - I'm noting this as a confession, but acknowledging at the same time that we are in a world that does not so much study the old world which has so gripped me...so I stand aside.).
Pianists? Richter, Sofronitsky, Petri, Schnabel, Arrau, so on so forth...with many other, manly conductors of the old age, on the brink of the recorded age. Do I want their mind? Have you ever put a group of recording together, sat back and listened dreaming, this is me...this is what I am doing?
Does this in some way reveal the condition of this world, or am I alone in my depravity? I've been given a mind, and so have you. And what gifts they are to each other and the world...
I am writing in the late night. The end.
Dave (not Furtwängler)