Coming to terms with oneself

[m1469]

I have been doing some deep reflecting for a while now, and a question finally popped into my head today;  Does everybody at some point in their musical path need to come to terms with oneself and one's artistry?

While circumstances may appear quite different from one person to the next (different educations, different "accomplishments") humanly speaking, is it really the same decision that each person will make?  Some sort of self assessment, followed by the personal decision to continue on and to what level of commitment.

Would you suppose that even the most well-known and highly esteemed artists have had to make these decisions for themselves?  Have you done this, or are you doing this?

I would really love to know what people think and this would be most helpful for me.

Thanks,
m1469

[JK]

I'm 18 and have just started music college in London, I would say that I did actually around about a year ago I decided that this is what I was going to do, I was going to work as much as I had to in order to make a career out of playing the piano, from this point on music and piano practice took absolute priority over everything else including school work. I had made similar decisions years ago, probably since I was 14 but never really had the belief or courage to carry them through to the full, however a year ago I decided that this is what I was going to do and since then I have done it and feel so much better for it. Before hand I used to get so stressed about school and once I had decided in my mind I was going to do what I wanted to do and actually put all my thoughts and energy into piano and music I felt a lot more focussed. This I think was a very important thing for me to do as it made it clear in my mind what I was doing and made my piano playing the only focus of my life. It's often very difficult to make this sort of decision as there are always doubts and concerns that music is such a difficult profession to get into and there's always the thought that you're not quite good enough, but in fact a lot of this is in the mind and if you really deep down want to make the decision to make music your carrer then you just have to go for it. My teacher has always said that if you want to make music your career then you will, I am now more determined and positive than ever that I can indeed do this successfully. I suppose I made this personal decision because when i thought about music was really the thing that I ever wanted to do, I now can't imagine wanting to do anything else, but making that initial decision was scary but very satisfying!

[Antnee]

Of course, I think everyone does this, no matter what position you're in. Liszt often thought about quitting everything in his teenage years, and joining the church. Although the joining the church thing may have been publicity stunts, he really did often think about where his performance life would take him. I have often over the last year, thought about whether or not this whole piano thing would work out. Especially on crappy days where I play horribly. But I look back a few months and look at what I have actually accomplished in such a short amount of time. I couldn't play Mozart's Rondo Alla Turca correctly in January, but now I can play All sorts of advanced pieces. When I look at my progress, and listen to my teachers praising, it makes me fill al fuzzy inside and makes me think more and more that this is what I was meant to do. However I do think that many artists have the 'big' debate with themselves at one point. They break down and consider quitting it all. Whatever you do decide, it has to be firm, straight and sure, or else it will never be as good as you thought it would. If you're always iffy about it, you'll never be happy and you probably wont get anywhere with it.

[ted]

m1469:

In the purely pragmatic, external sense I "came to terms with myself" thirty-five years ago (I am now fifty-seven) when I decided, against the advice of some, that I would remain an amateur and support my music by other means.

However, if you mean decisions concerning the nature and objectives of my own music, then that is a much more complicated issue. My personality is not suited to abrupt, critical or resolute changes of direction; I prefer to keep a certain vague open-endedness and eclectic broadmindedness within a generally invariant musical purpose. To do otherwise would defeat the hard-won aesthetic freedom of my amateur status.

In short yes and no, I suppose, depending on what you mean.

[m1469]

Thank you for your responses people!

Ted:

I will try to explain more of what I am talking about...

It seems that there are musicians out there who may have gotten on a certain track at the "right" time.  They have the talent, received fabulous training, and then one thing leads to another and they win competitions, go to great schools, and then perhaps naturally fall into a career because of everything that has lead up to it. 

But, I wonder, do these people ever have to think deeply upon what they are actually doing and what they want to be doing?   I know that they have worked hard through the years to do what has been required of them and to do what has gotten them to where they are, but is it soul searching?

Must one search the soul to be the most one can be?  Or, can one simply step into something and end up at some sort of appearance of their greatest potential (whatever that may be) without giving it much thought (and be satisfied as well)?

There's more that I don't know how to say yet.

m1469