Ending Lessons with Long Time Teacher

[landru]

I would like some advice from teachers and/or students who have had a long term student/teacher relationship.

I am a 50 year old advanced intermediate student. I came to my teacher about five years ago as a total mess of a piano player. Over 30 years of self-teaching had left a ton of bad habits. Together we conquered rhythm, sound, practicing, efficiency and a lot of other problems. I went from barely being able to get through the easy Anna Magdelana minuet to Schubert impromptus, Mozart sonatas, Chopin etc.

However, I think I've reached the end with her. Most of her focus is on her competition students and I am sure I am not in her plans from one week to the next. There is no overall plan for what pieces I should/could play next - she just quasi-randomly picks pieces while I'm there. One of my first pieces when I began was Bach's first invention. She assigned me Bach's invention no. 13 a couple of weeks ago by flipping through one of my baroque books. I like the piece and playing it to speed and phrasing is always a good thing for anybody's technique. But still, after 5 years it seems like I'm treading water if that's the kind of piece I'm getting.

Part of the problem is that she is fixated on that I taught myself for over 20 years and therefore my hand will never be able to play the way she wants. Yes, I won't be playing Islamey anytime soon, but I'm tired of hearing that all the time. It seems her conception of me has reached its limit.

Furthermore, I have reached a stage where I can see being able to take on pieces without her help. Over my teacher's summer break I learned an intricate Mozart slow sonata movement and I could tell she was surprised when I played it.

So, I think I'm ready to move on. How shall I end it with her? I'm thinking of saying something like "I'm beyond grateful for all that you've done with me, I would never have been able to do this without you...etc...However, I think the time has come for me to move on. I'm thinking of doing more jazz improv while also increasing my classical repertoire..."

Also, I'm thinking of proposing two more months of lessons - to prepare me for going on my own and to not just spring it on her as "That's it, I'm leaving, thanks, bye!"

Anyone go through something similar? Or any other advice you can give me about how to gracefully end it?

[faulty_damper]

It can be tough considering that you've had a 5-years relationship.  So I suggest doing it by text message.  I'm kidding.

The purpose of a teacher is to teach you everything you need so that you don't need a teacher.  It sounds like this is the point you are at.  And considering that you don't think she has your best interest in mind, you are right to end it.

What is sort of disturbing is that she views intelligence/ability/skill as fixed considering she keeps on mentioning that you've been self-taught for 20 years and doesn't have much hope for you.  Adults who are self-taught do have the many habits, but you work with them to improve them/remove them.

There is no right or wrong way to do it.  Just do so the way you think is best.  Good luck!

[hfmadopter]

I'm sure your teacher can't help but comment on the fact that your situation is a bit different from her general student body, since it really is ! But if you need to move on, just tell your teacher that and that you have learned a lot. Two things may happen, one would be she say's good bye, the other may be some suggestions to help you further improve and why don't we work on this. You could also ask if there is another route for you to go.

The beginning of the end came for me with my teacher of nearly 10 years at the 8 year mark after I took a secondary summer course in arranging popular pieces or just other ways of getting around the piano from the strict classical approach. She was a great teacher though and I'm forever grateful for what she taught me. But I think she could see the end coming. I just did not want to play Autumn Leaves perhaps, which she had gotten the score to for me to work on over the next summer. She got me to about level 9 in classical though, or certainly 8+, can't knock that. But that summer too, I fell to the way side, got a new med that fogged my abillity. In the fall I didn't return. my hump year was 8 th year with her, 9th fell off at the end of the teaching season, didn't return for year ten.

[keypeg]

Reading the description of your background and then lessons, it seems that she undid your poor self-taught habits in terms of things like rhythm, practicing habits, etc.  Therefore you saw a large improvement in your playing, as you would.  But was she able to do anything about the physical habits that you acquired through self-teaching for so long.  That is a different ball game and not every teacher can approach that part.  I'm thinking of the fact that she is discussing your physical limitations that you acquired through self-teaching, but she does not seem to be discussing them in terms of what to do about them.

[landru]

Thanks for your responses - I am glad to see that I am probably thinking along the right tracks.

Keypeg: Yes, she undid my bad things and gave me a way to teach myself that I did not have before. She did try to do the physical part (and to be honest, my hands are not that bad, you see far worse in YouTube videos!) and I believe we got there. The problem is that I have an anatomical difference in the way my thumb bends (it bends back naturally without any strain or effort) and she has an idee fixe that it is the root of all my problems. She is partially right - it is the root of all the problems between her and me (joking!).

[keypeg]

Perhaps the next teacher can address those things that this teacher couldn't, and have a different perspective on things.

[outin]

She did try to do the physical part (and to be honest, my hands are not that bad, you see far worse in YouTube videos!) and I believe we got there. The problem is that I have an anatomical difference in the way my thumb bends (it bends back naturally without any strain or effort) and she has an idee fixe that it is the root of all my problems. She is partially right - it is the root of all the problems between her and me (joking!).

I have a "different" thumb as well, and it has been given me problems since I started lessons. It took a while before my teacher realized that I simply couldn't do what she wanted, but she hasn't given up, since we see little improvement ever now and then. I also have hybermobile joints that present a challenge. These issues (plus having a crooked back) cause me lot of tension problems, which she has to adress regularly. But none of these issues prevent me from learning to use my fingers better or learning better arm movements and posture.

It has already taken quite a lot of hard work and experimenting from me to get to where I am now and I doubt I would have been able to do any of it if she wasn't insisting that I learn the techinue in depth. I think it will still be a long battle but that's why I need a teacher. Learning pieces I could have done without a teacher only to hit a wall with harder pieces because of my lack of technique. But this way is hard and focusing on technique is slowing down my learning new music. It must be harder for her also, would be easier just let me play the way I can being older and with no ambition to perform, but she still doesn't give me any slack. If she starts doing that I guess it would be time to move on.

If you have what it takes to "start from the beginning" again with a new teacher, you might try to find one that is willing to work even further on your technique. But if this seems too much, you could just enjoy playing music and learning new pieces. You probably don't need a teacher for that anymore...