Composition for Teacher

[tonyloban]

This is my first post and time on the forum ever so be nice

My teacher is teaching me to write my own music. He does not teach me sheet music/how to read notes, but rather music theory and a wide range of topics. He asked me to create a song, and If I tell you the specifics, it might bias or ruin your first thoughts on it, so I'll just say that I'm hoping for some feedback.

Just analyze what you hear, and give feed back on anything you want at all. GET DOWN AND DIRTY TOO! I want to hear the nasty mean stuff, but constructive please .

Examples:
tempo
rhythm
style
posture
hands
mood
anything you'd change
anything you can think of

This is my homework for next week. Thanks!

[andreslr6]

harmonically it's very clear that you have a plan, and that's good, I would only add that I would think it will work better to put a V7 right between the C#-E-A#-G chord and the return of the tonic Em. It's not wrong but I would fill that gap like that, making it I - v6 - iv - Vii/V - V7/V - V7 - I, sounds smoother I believe, in other words: Em-Bm6-Am6-A#dim with that G-F# on the right hand that will then turn into F#65 (V7 of V7) - B7 - Em. I would do that, the last 3 chord maybe voice them like the following:

Right hand: G   -      F#-     F#---                                                                       ----- E

Left Hand:   A# ----- A#     B----A (responding to the previous G-F# on the right hand)- G or B
                  E    ----- E       D#---                                                                        ----- G
                  C# -----  C#    B ----                                                                        ----- E
Degree:       Vii/V - V7/V  - V -- V7                                                                      ------ i
    
Hope I wrote it clear

In general, it sounds like a song for a movie or something like that. You can also add a figured bass, like alberti bass or something like that, instead of just chords. For me, what you played sounds just like the plan/structure of a composition, not THE composition itself.

[tonyloban]

Thank you very much. That was a lot more than I could have hoped for! You were right too, this is just the first step, and there's MUCH more work to be put into it.

I think once I get at least 5 replies, I'll post the specifics the teacher wanted. They were mostly set to make it challenging, as it should be. Maybe that will clear up any questions people have about it.

Again, thanks for your help.

[andreslr6]

I was thinking, another option to expand the arrival to the last Em would be, after the B7 I suggested, going to the VI first, C major, it sounds nice, and it will also give you a chance to get more material in there, explore the possibilities it gives you.

Maybe, after what I said on the last post, something like this: A#dim6 - F#65 - BM - BM7 - C - C6+ (augmented sixth chord) and return to BM7 - Em.

[tonyloban]

Thanks again. I'm not going to do anything with what you said yet, because I think it will be better to have my teacher help me with it.

No one seems to care, so I'll just post what the assignment was.

Make a sad song, with hands at least 4 octaves apart, only minor chords (very hard for me since I play in a worship band), and each note at least 1 second apart. Interesting challenge, He wants me to expand the song now.

I think it would be interesting to keep updating here every time he and I meet and posting of the song progressing. Maybe I can get some more responses now, but I guess this thread will be like my journal for the song.

I hope people don't get annoyed with this being bumped so often.

In the meantime, here's a random "thing" I played once and recorded on my phone (thus, the crappy quality) but it was just some chords I threw together and decided to see what I could do with them.

https://soundcloud.com/tony-el/piano-composition