Lust or Love?

[brendan765]

    I saw this girl today and will also see her again tomorrow(:    ...and got that feeling. You guys know what I mean so called "Love at first sight" Is it a possibility that that is true out of the billions of people on the planet only one's the right one for you? I'll try not to fool myself anymore because that has happened before.  So i'll talk to her...9/10 chance she will talk back, i'm a confident person.

Or is what happened lust?
         
          I believe for love to be present you must get to really know the person...

          Some people say the fell in love when their eyes lay upon so and so...It was most likely lust that had the 2 to be lucky and stay together and whatnot...

    Love or Lust? they should make a game show called "Love or Lust?"  seriously person who wants that idea is free to have it, potential millionare right there.

Don't be shy, what do you think..? Im only 17 so...I usually keep all that info inside my head, im pretty shy I guess. But I just don't see a reason to talk unless you have something really good to say....but I love writing, it is as well my passion other than piano. Descriptive writing, imagery, I love describing people, places, things.....

I think about how to describe thought? Maybe it will click someday.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Go for her, and try your best if you truly love her!
 

[brendan765]

Go for her, and try your best if you truly love her!
 

That is something that is determined later on (: ...a year or 2 ago I would of said I loved her..but ive done that before with girls and that was a mistake..because it was lust obviously.

No actually I will say I love her...but that  doesnt mean forever, the human mind plays insidious tricks on itself. No one to blame but yourself is usually the case for about everything unless you're missing a chromosome or some oddity like that.

But ive also been contemplating that love can be felt multiple times and lust is the same feeling as love,, just a regret later on.. Love at first sight is probably true, I hypothesize this, and believe it now because its the same 2 feelings, just a regret about 1 after all the matter in some cases...

Wheres the science when you need it! also a way to make money.

[brendan765]

I'm about to go compose my first piece on love If I was from 1890 I would dedicate it to Madamemoiselle (french for Ms.) Which I see this girl in french class. And if 1/9 chance im rejected....I go write a agitato marked, atonal sounding piece of the devil with hidden themes from my romantic piece...that get completely destroyed by an inharmonious C -F#-C maybe even full of chromatic full dominished chords accelerating to the bottom of the key board and then bringing up the sad little melody that would resemble my emotional distraughtness...like they piano is crying...I swear pianos have feelings! haha....And if you think im weird...at least I dont laugh like Mozart did. no offense he was a great artist and... I enjoy his music alot!! but I will say he was quite an akward child, always a child at heart. such a shame he died so young, he never fully matured and finished his works, its such a sad moment when you would get all the way to his last works and it would feel like a climax in the movie ...but one thing he has left you no more to feast upon, so what do you do? I would make up what I think he  would have wrote next...Completely plausible..if someone played all the mozart works and had a deep emotional connection to his music, they could be Mozart more/less...I am not claiming this though, but that is an entriguing venture to consider.

[brendan765]

I just composed some of it and made it super elgible so you could tell me if you think it's good and tell your *** friend reiu im a real pianist that is actually worth something in this world.

Ill try to post it in a new post

[chopin2015]

Depends on place and time u saw her. Maybe its the way she looked at u or her scent. Then perhaps that person is likeable. Love? Idk. Look up the definition.

[brendan765]

Depends on place and time u saw her. Maybe its the way she looked at u or her scent. Then perhaps that person is likeable. Love? Idk. Look up the definition.

definitions are not always correct, but 99% of the time they are. no I wasn't even close 2 her, like all the way across the room...and I couldnt smell anything no., air? but Idk how that smells because Ive built a tolerance for that for a few years now. haha

[mahlermaniac]

I believe in love at first sight: many mothers do. I fell in love with each of my children as soon as I held them.....to a smaller degree even before I met them.

I do not believe in romantic love at first sight, I think that's more complex, and an instant attraction to someone is lust.

[lloyd_cdb]

I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic, but don't really believe in love at first sight (to an extent).  For me it's not about love, but about instant personal change.  I'm pretty selfish, anti-social when it comes to new people, and fairly apathetic in regards to relationships.  I'm the type of person to forgot someone's name 30 seconds after I meet them, have no idea what we talked about for the last 20 minutes, and most likely introduce myself the next time I see them.  I'm a bit of an unintentional ass.

A couple months ago, I was visiting my college for a reunion of sorts, so... drunkest I've been in a while.  I'd typically not remember one conversation from the night before except the ones with my good friends.  I met 3 girls when my buddies were going to bed (old guys at 27).  I hung out with them for the rest of the night.  The morning after, I remembered every word from the conversation with one of the girls and had no idea what the other girls' names were (which will probably be bad if/when I meet them again).  I knew her favorite drink, her sisters' names/where they went to school/their majors... even her favorite hot sauce (lol, weird conversations huh?).  We don't live very near each other for the time being (until June), so our interactions really aren't based on lust.

In a romantic, familial and friendship sense, my perspective on people you love is that you allow them have an effect on who you are.  I don't think you should ever allow strangers or critics to influence your personality.  But if you allow people into your life, you have to expect that they'll have an influence on who you are.  I also don't like the wording 'love at first sight'.  Love at first sight is EXACTLY what lust is.  As I have a bit more of a logical persona, I prefer 'acknowledgement of the potential for love after the first interaction' (lol).

But ive also been contemplating that love can be felt multiple times and lust is the same feeling as love,, just a regret later on.

I fully agree about love happening multiple times.  Love is part of your family and friend relationships, what makes romance any different?  I dated a girl for 3 years, we broke up when we moved away from each other.  Our breakup was mutual and friendly.  5 years later, she's engaged and yet we still talk fairly regularly.  Romance love should always develop into friendship love (or you're doing it wrong  .  They aren't mutually exclusive though).

Lastly, people seem to have become afraid of our natural urges to fit the prudish societal views.  Lust shouldn't be regretted, it's a natural part of life.  Life is too short for regret, anything you might regret should be treated as a simple learning opportunity.  The only thing you should concern yourself with is confusing lust and love repetitively, meaning you aren't learning from your experiences.  I definitely don't mean that you should become jaded or reserved.  That's a recipe for being miserable.

[outin]

^ Exactly, nothing wrong with lust, how boring would life be without it... Go for it. It might lead to something more permanent or not, why worry. As long as you use whatever protection needed 

[brendan765]

I was talking to my french teacher about classical music (A-B convo), we both like Debussy see...and somehow we bring up steinway pianos, and that girl hops in and said how she performed for professors on a Steinway Concert Grand...

About the only way she would of done this is by being a good pianist obviously.

She might of even said she was auditioning for them....say for something like IU summer academy, or Juliard and others.  That would be really really cool, something like this haha... ever heard of Anderson and Roe Piano Duo?
I'm gonna find out if she's actually ...and if she says things only a Pianist would know then I'm pretty sure she likes me because I catch her staring at me all the time and she acts shy, and smiles and stuff.
   My test will tell the truth, does she not know anything other than Beethovens 5th and Mozart if I asked what your favorite composer is...whats one that relates directly to piano?? what pieces can you play?

       That will surely reveal a pianist right? I would be highly suprised if a non pianist said they love to play the chopin etudes, and bosendorfer is their fav piano.   But if a pianist didnt know some simple stuff or have favorite pieces than they probably would of never of "Played for Professors" as she said...that takes alot to get in with them for auditions like that.
     I would defintly go for it if she

   

[iansinclair]

"Some enchanted evening... you will find your true love..."

Yeah, at 70 plus, I feel entitled to say that yes indeed, you can fall in love in an instant, and have it last for the rest of your life.  Whether or not you ever see her (or him, as the case may be!) again.  And that was 50 years ago.

Or you can spend some time and slowly develope a relationship with someone, and wind up married to her for 46 years...

[brendan765]

"Some enchanted evening... you will find your true love..."

Yeah, at 70 plus, I feel entitled to say that yes indeed, you can fall in love in an instant, and have it last for the rest of your life.  Whether or not you ever see her (or him, as the case may be!) again.  And that was 50 years ago.

Or you can spend some time and slowly develope a relationship with someone, and wind up married to her for 46 years...

 That's what my grandpa said, and his wife died...my grandma/professional piano teacher (very close to me) but he is like crazy now...listens to terrible music like Gloria Estafon and Barbara Stricen..also all he does is work, and act like hes depressed, he even admitted it.

He used to be a cool guy, but after his wife died...hes freaking redicoulous!

[lloyd_cdb]

Yeah, at 70 plus, I feel entitled to say that yes indeed, you can fall in love in an instant, and have it last for the rest of your life.  Whether or not you ever see her (or him, as the case may be!) again.  And that was 50 years ago.

Or you can build them up in your mind slowly over 50 years to someone they may not be, just to give you warm and fuzzies 

[teran]

It most likely isn't lust. I mean lust is pretty basic, we feel it pretty often, how come we're not head over heels thinking all night about the porn stars one might have lusted over?

There is a clear distinction between the romantic urges and the lustful ones. As for the girl, go for it I guess sure why not the worst that could happen is that you get rejected and you shoot yourself after downing a bottle of scotch.

[brendan765]

It most likely isn't lust. I mean lust is pretty basic, we feel it pretty often, how come we're not head over heels thinking all night about the porn stars one might have lusted over?

There is a clear distinction between the romantic urges and the lustful ones. As for the girl, go for it I guess sure why not the worst that could happen is that you get rejected and you shoot yourself after downing a bottle of scotch.

You got a point their cause I would easily bang at least 20 or 30 chicks at my school.

[outin]

It most likely isn't lust. I mean lust is pretty basic, we feel it pretty often, how come we're not head over heels thinking all night about the porn stars one might have lusted over?

I thought some people are? 

Anyway, there are different types of lust. What you are referring to is just wanting quick release with just about anyone/anything. Lust can also be very specific towars one individual. I do not personally believe in some clearly defined concept of "love", it is a combination of lust, familiarity, trust and other things that you can feel towards a certain object. Both love and lust come in different forms and degrees. People seem to want to make these things very complex and mystified...In general the attitude towards sex in our modern society is very unnatural and weird...

[rachmaninoff_forever]

. I do not personally believe in some clearly defined concept of "love", it is a combination of lust, familiarity, trust and other things that you can feel towards a certain object. Both love and lust come in different forms and degrees. People seem to want to make these things very complex and mystified...In general the attitude towards sex in our modern society is very unnatural and weird...

With the exception of me and Valentina Lisitsa right?

[outin]

With the exception of me and Valentina Lisitsa right?

There's always the exception of the rule. Yours must be the type of special eternal love that is very rare. Actually it makes sense that it could last forever because one of the parties could never get over it and the other one always has more to desire

[j_menz]

and the other one always has more to desire

Which is to say, her husband and family.

[outin]

Which is to say, her husband and family.

I think you misunderstood me...

[chopin2015]

if you are 17 years old, then maybe you are underestimating love and confusing it with hormones. At 17...lets just say have fun and treat her with respect, and you will know what love is much later, or maybe even never...not to be a buzz kill but it's different for all people.

[ahinton]

There's always the exception of the rule. Yours must be the type of special eternal love that is very rare.

Oh, it's rare all right! Since it is both undeclared by the one to the other and unrequited at the same time, I'd be inclined to conjecture that the very nature of its rarity wholly undermines it...

Actually it makes sense

What sense and to whom?

that it could last forever

God forbid!

because one of the parties could never get over it and the other one always has more to desire

J_menz has already answered that one.

Best,

Alistair

[outin]

Oh, it's rare all right! Since it is both undeclared by the one to the other and unrequited at the same time, I'd be inclined to conjecture that the very nature of its rarity wholly undermines it...
What sense and to whom?
God forbid!
J_menz has already answered that one.

I think you both misunderstood me 
One cannot get over something that one does not know about (referring to Mrs L here). The other part is quite obvious then...

[ahinton]

I think you both misunderstood me 
One cannot get over something that one does not know about (referring to Mrs L here).

No, I understood you OK (and she's not Mrs L, by the way; she's Ms L and/or Mrs K) and what you write here is, of course, correct and will remain so until or unless reliable evidence to the contrary becomes available.

Best,

Alistair

[lloyd_cdb]

Love:



<3

[chopin2015]

Aweee Cute as a button on an synthesizer

[teran]

I thought some people are? 

Anyway, there are different types of lust. What you are referring to is just wanting quick release with just about anyone/anything. Lust can also be very specific towars one individual. I do not personally believe in some clearly defined concept of "love", it is a combination of lust, familiarity, trust and other things that you can feel towards a certain object. Both love and lust come in different forms and degrees. People seem to want to make these things very complex and mystified...In general the attitude towards sex in our modern society is very unnatural and weird...

The definition of love is a massive dopamine spike in the reward centre of the brain associated with thoughts of a person.

So actually, it is very different from lust. Lust and love are absolutely not the same thing on a basic biochemical level.

Also ironically I'm making it about as uncomplicated as possible.

[outin]

The definition of love is a massive dopamine spike in the reward centre of the brain associated with thoughts of a person.

So actually, it is very different from lust. Lust and love are absolutely not the same thing on a basic biochemical level.

Are you saying that one does not get dopamine high from lustful thoughts? Obviously we have different definition of lust 

[brendan765]

Are you saying that one does not get dopamine high from lustful thoughts? Obviously we have different definition of lust 

      Yeah, and it's anoying I hate dopomine!!!That girl is like all I can think about?! I pussied out haha, Im gonna force myself to go for it tomorrow and I told other people so I cant pussy out or I'm gonna look really stupid...Ha this girl is all shy and trying so hard to impress me or something, and I just play it off and do stuff that makes her want me more like (hold door for her, smile when I catch her staring at me...she does that to me to haha, and in french class (vocab study) the teacher asked her what girl is intelligent...and she said Brendan is. and then found out it was supposed to be a girl you talk to...she got like completely silent and red cheeks...I'll have to relieve her tommorow because it is pretty anoying and I dont want to look stupid...and see if shes good at piano(: compose a duet..

[outin]

^Well, let me tell you a little secret... The longer you keep her in agony the more she'll want you (unless you completely misread her thoughts about you).

[teran]

Are you saying that one does not get dopamine high from lustful thoughts? Obviously we have different definition of lust 

Except mine isn't based on definition, it's based on scientific observation.

[brendan765]

^Well, let me tell you a little secret... The longer you keep her in agony the more she'll want you (unless you completely misread her thoughts about you).

But im in agony to, im just good at covering it up!!

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Oh, it's rare all right! Since it is both undeclared by the one to the other and unrequited at the same time, I'd be inclined to conjecture that the very nature of its rarity wholly undermines it...
What sense and to whom?
God forbid!
J_menz has already answered that one.

Best,

Alistair

You just don't understand mpmy love!!!

[brendan765]

You just don't understand mpmy love!!!

Valentina Lisitsas an ugly looking thing man...I would never touch her...I bet she'll never ever get married. For one she's a concert pianist who will not give up her practice time to do anything, which is really a shame. She lives in a box, that's sad. Although I live in a box as well, at least I see the sunshine when I wake up...all she sees is that Bosendorfer for 18 hours straight.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Valentina Lisitsas an ugly looking thing man...I would never touch her...I bet she'll never ever get married. For one she's a concert pianist who will not give up her practice time to do anything, which is really a shame. She lives in a box, that's sad. Although I live in a box as well, at least I see the sunshine when I wake up...all she sees is that Bosendorfer for 18 hours straight.

Everything you said was just wrong.  And I'm not just talking about when you said she was ugly.  I guess I...  Acknowledge your opinion, but everything else you said is just wrong.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

     Yeah, and it's anoying I hate dopomine!!!That girl is like all I can think about?! I pussied out haha, Im gonna force myself to go for it tomorrow and I told other people so I cant pussy out or I'm gonna look really stupid...Ha this girl is all shy and trying so hard to impress me or something, and I just play it off and do stuff that makes her want me more like (hold door for her, smile when I catch her staring at me...she does that to me to haha, and in french class (vocab study) the teacher asked her what girl is intelligent...and she said Brendan is. and then found out it was supposed to be a girl you talk to...she got like completely silent and red cheeks...I'll have to relieve her tommorow because it is pretty anoying and I dont want to look stupid...and see if shes good at piano(: compose a duet..

I feel like being pianist and/or a composer is really advantageous for spitting... 'game'.

But if she's like a better pianist than you, then your composing has to haul all the weight.

[brendan765]

It most likely isn't lust. I mean lust is pretty basic, we feel it pretty often, how come we're not head over heels thinking all night about the porn stars one might have lusted over?

There is a clear distinction between the romantic urges and the lustful ones. As for the girl, go for it I guess sure why not the worst that could happen is that you get rejected and you shoot yourself after downing a bottle of scotch.

hahaha I wouldnt do that, I would just be kinda upset that day and fine the next...here soon though, she's gonna come to me...(: thats how its done, if you're trying to be the winner.

[brendan765]

I feel like being pianist and/or a composer is really advantageous for spitting 'game'.

Hell yeah, Isn't it awesome...Im all about the art more than anything and I compose music to be stories and dedicated pieces for people...but damn it works! If your descent with girl and then you bring your piano playing into it, then you basically can get laid by playing a Chopin waltz... but I wouldn't do that to a this girl and she's only a freshman in highschool so ill let her take her time but im pretty sure she wont wanna take time, now at a sorority house full of trashy girls...I plan to have a few fun nights like these.

[rachmaninoff_forever]

Hell yeah, Isn't it awesome...Im all about the art more than anything and I compose music to be stories and dedicated pieces for people...but damn it works! If your descent with girl and then you bring your piano playing into it, then you basically can get laid by playing a Chopin waltz... but I wouldn't do that to a this girl and she's only a freshman in highschool so ill let her take her time but im pretty sure she wont wanna take time, now at a sorority house full of trashy girls...I plan to have a few fun nights like these.

Haha I'm starting to like you.

No but yeah, you can impress anyone if you can play the piano.  Or compose something besides 4 part chorales.

[brendan765]

Haha I'm starting to like you.

No but yeah, you can impress anyone if you can play the piano.  Or compose something besides 4 part chorales.

If you want to hear a few chopin pieces I just played...tell me how to upload MPG to whatever file format works on youtube,...Im pretty sure its my computer...but dont worry I will have a new one soon, and by then I will upload excerpts from my works, which should be fairly suprising to you guys, and in a few months I will upload a final edition with free copywright covered sheetmusic

[j_menz]

Valentina Lisitsas .....I bet she'll never ever get married. For one she's a concert pianist who will not give up her practice time to do anything, which is really a shame.

For the record, she is married, and has been for quite some time; she also has a son.

[outin]

But im in agony to, im just good at covering it up!!

That's what will make you a winner

[outin]

Except mine isn't based on definition, it's based on scientific observation.

 

All study on things is based on definitions (your reference system), and scientific observation is no exception.

[brendan765]

That's what will make you a winner

Wish me luck for tomorrow haha, and I lose...im not waiting over the weekend, im just going to tell her I really want to hear her play the piano. And if she's actually a good pianist I would fall in love because i've never met anyone my age who plays the piano near my level and defintly not someone I like...no homo. If she played Sonata No 2 by Liszt, id probably pass out and die of shock, If she plays Mary Had a Little Lamb, I would sit down and show her some real piano music.

but if she plays descently than that will be best because we could be famous & rich concert pianists, play duets together and get famous and rich just like Anderson and Roe did.

Shes a freshman, Im a Junior. this will not work will it? because I guarentee she has a dad that would kill me becuase i'm 2; almost 3 years older than her...but comeon pops Im a pianist for god sakes. Not a party guy, or get laid by every girl in school kinda guy.

[lloyd_cdb]

I feel like being pianist and/or a composer is really advantageous for spitting... 'game'.

In a sense "Girls love guys who can play [piano]". However [piano] can often times be replaced by anything that takes dedication, hard work and creativity. Piano and music just happen to be great conversation topics that almost everyone can relate to.  You could go on a date and talk about music for 3 hours without even having to mention you play piano.  Easy and natural conversation is what 'game' is all about.

[outin]

Shes a freshman, Im a Junior. this will not work will it? because I guarentee she has a dad that would kill me becuase i'm 2; almost 3 years older than her...

Than doesn't tell me much about your age. But as a responsible adult I am obliged to say that if it means she is not of legal age, you must keep it to the level of holding hands and maybe playing the piano together 

[teran]

All study on things is based on definitions (your reference system), and scientific observation is no exception.

Well I fucked that one up, I meant to say opinion. >__>

Also I don't see why people try all these different tactics on women when they just end up using Rohypnol anyway.

[oxy60]

The poster started this thread with a question about love at first sight. And the answer is yes, there is a click. It is different than when you are just cruising and want a date. A 17 year old is just starting out. Take moment and sort out how you feel during each new encounter. And please not as if you are in a reality show! It's the feeling that defies definition that could be the one.

[brendan765]

Haha yeah I'm playing it cool...I really like her and all but I'm still waiting until she comes to me...which will be pretty soon. I have plans with some other girl this weekend that I just met though...not planning to date her or anything. Just someone to chill with for a little bit. Yeah, I've confirmed that pianists will indeed get girls easily. Because I showed 3 girls a piano video of me and they all 3 are chasing after me, I have plans with one of them this weekend.  But yeah still like the piano girl...